Bird Games

[Alki]

Righttttt, so I noticed while driving down country roads, that these little birds like to play games, kind of like chicken, asin where you run across the road as late as possible just in front of a car. Well i've noticed everyday that birds like to play these games, there is always 2 or more of them, and they always fly just in front of your car to avoid being hit, back and forth back and forth. The wussies of the bird world seem to play it above the car.

Anyway today I was driving toward York on one of them old country roads and two birds dashed in front of my car, this time they left it quite late, so I decided instead off easing off the accelerator(which i tend to do hence they annoy the bejesus out of me) I sped up, I accelerated quite fast as I was going down hill, one of the birds realised that he was gonna be hit so pulled out like a faggot, the other was quite a bit ahead of the second bird but i managed to hit it, and was rather chuffed, the bird didnt die, just kind stumbled then flew away.

Was basically wondering if birds had 'played' this game just in front of your car. All in all

Alki 1 - Birds 0

[Ste]

i'm not sure why you think it's cool to kill birds.

[SilverSmoke]

A heroic deed indeed.

[Alki]

I didnt want to kill it, as i knew it wouldnt kill it

[Ste]

it's probably dying in a ditch somewhere now. leaving a nest full of chicks.
did you think of the chicks?

[Demon Dave]

I did exactely the same thing with two pigeons

[Marilyn Manson]

Originally Posted by Ste

i'm not sure why you think it's cool to kill birds.

Hitting wild animals with cars is considered to be something approaching high sport in Teesside.

My friend John swears he hit a wolf the other day.

[Phalon]

I regularly try to run over the pigeons that assemble along the country roads near my house.

I've hit quite a few. Same goes for rabbits.

Things i consider vermin i wont think twice about killing, I try to avoid most other animals though.

Nearly hit deer, lambs, foxes, moor hens, pheasants, ducks and numerous other species of crazy wildlife that like a day out in the main road.

[Marilyn Manson]

Originally Posted by Phalon

Things i consider vermin i wont think twice about killing,

Run over any chavs yet?

[Phalon]

Originally Posted by Marilyn Manson

Run over any chavs yet?

No, but not for want of trying

[Alki]

Originally Posted by Ste

it's probably dying in a ditch somewhere now. leaving a nest full of chicks.
did you think of the chicks?

that reminds me, there are lots of geese, ducks and the like wandering around york uni, i stayed quite late doing work one night, got into my car as i left 2 geese walked across the road, and i hit one of them, my car tyre went right over his neck, the other goose just stood there looking down at the dead goose, i was like 'i just killed your husband/wife' and shed a little tear:crymeariver:

[Marilyn Manson]

Is there anyone posting in this thread who is not a psychopath?

[IncubusGod]

Originally Posted by Alki

I didnt want to kill it, as i knew it wouldnt kill it

You were driving hard at the bird in a metal box on wheels that weighs over a tonne, did you think you'd mearly fluff it's feathers or something?

When I was working for a company based out in the countryside there used to be plenty of birds rushing around, looking for food, crisscrossing the road around the spring and summer time. Looking to feed their chicks and being quite frantic about it.
They'd dart in front of the car now and then, but I managed not to hit any...till one day where this one robin pulled sharply into my patch and got twatted on my radiator.
I felt very very guilty.

I'd only been driving for about two months and had never killed anything with my car.


Nowadays I just try to run down old ladies and people who don't know the rules of the road.

[Appocomaster]

Originally Posted by Alki

that reminds me, there are lots of geese, ducks and the like wandering around york uni, i stayed quite late doing work one night, got into my car as i left 2 geese walked across the road, and i hit one of them, my car tyre went right over his neck, the other goose just stood there looking down at the dead goose, i was like 'i just killed your husband/wife' and shed a little tear:crymeariver:

WHAT?!??!?!?!?!?!!?!??!

they're like, a protected thingy, all tagged. York News will soon contain "mystery of the goose killer", and you've put all the evidence here!

[Phil^]

Originally Posted by Appocomaster

WHAT?!??!?!?!?!?!!?!??!

they're like, a protected thingy, all tagged. York News will soon contain "mystery of the goose killer", and you've put all the evidence here!

thats swans isnt it?
i dont think geese are a protected species

[midge5]

I've managed to avoid hitting any animals so far, though Iwas about half a foot away from hitting a horse and have been with my brother when we had a very bumpy ride from rabbits constantly running in front of the car.

[Stew]

I saw a hardcore pigeon once.
I was travelling up the M1 and saw a bird approaching from the west and was heading straight towards a large sided articulated lorry. It not stop however and flew straight into it, lost a few feathers and fell to the carriageway. My immediate thoughts of "that's a goner" were shown to be incorrect as it flew off.
I saw a hardcore pigeon once.

[midge5]

Originally Posted by Stew

I saw a hardcore pigeon once.
I was travelling up the M1 and saw a bird approaching from the west and was heading straight towards a large sided articulated lorry. It not stop however and flew straight into it, lost a few feathers and fell to the carriageway. My immediate thoughts of "that's a goner" were shown to be incorrect as it flew off.
I saw a hardcore pigeon once.

As impressive as the mad sheep near me. They randomly run in front of cars doing 40-60mph and on quite a few occasions have been hit. They seem to get stunned a bit and walk off while there is a giant dent in the person's car

[Appocomaster]

I have to draw attention to midge's avatar at this point, which I feel is entirely suitable for his post.

[Phalon]

The trouble with the timid beast that is the sheep is that they may well bounce off of cars and continue on their merry way relatively unscathed, but they'll more than likely drop down dead of shock the following day.

Definitely not hardcore creatures (in one sense at least )

[Rids]

I have you all beat, I saw a tourist get hit by a bus along Oxford Street today.

She was ****ed up.

[furball]

Originally Posted by Appocomaster

I have to draw attention to midge's avatar at this point, which I feel is entirely suitable for his post.

I'd like to draw attention to myself, off whom he stole said avatar. ****ing Welsh!*








* Tony Blair, May 1999

[Alki]

I ran over a goose(i think) today ****ing stupid bird, im driving to york it just walks in the middle of the road, im goin 80 so i slow down to about 30 beep my horn, it just ****ing stands there looking at me, so i pull over into the next lane with oncoming traffic to avoid it, so it thinks it will be smart and RUN TOWARDS ME, **** sake thought I, so i pulled further out into the hard shoulder of the other ****ing lane, SMACK in runs straight into the side of my car and under the back wheel.

'Cluck Cluck lets get run over today'

****ing birds, is it something about my car or what

edit - apologies for the bump just wanted to rant

[Cannon_Fodder]

Stop tying food to your front bumper and painting pictures of baby birds on it.

[meglamaniac]

Pheasants are the most suicidal bird known to man.
I used to have to drive down a few country roads to work last year, and I kid you not, this pheasant stood patiently at the side of the road like it was obeying the green cross code, until the car in front of me was about a foot away from it (and travelling at 60 miles an hour) whereupon it decided that now was a good time to cross the road.

Step.
*thwack*

A headless carcass sailed over the car in front, over my car and landed on the road behind me, wings still flapping.

The solution is clearly to spend more time teaching pheasants the green cross code.

[Demon Dave]

Originally Posted by meglamaniac

Pheasants are the most suicidal bird known to man.
I used to have to drive down a few country roads to work last year, and I kid you not, this pheasant stood patiently at the side of the road like it was obeying the green cross code, until the car in front of me was about a foot away from it (and travelling at 60 miles an hour) whereupon it decided that now was a good time to cross the road.

Step.
*thwack*

A headless carcass sailed over the car in front, over my car and landed on the road behind me, wings still flapping.

The solution is clearly to spend more time teaching pheasants the green cross code.

The exact same thing happened to my Mum, except she was the car in front doing 60mph

[Proxi]

I hit a seagull on the way to my driving test.

It died.

I failed.

A bad day all round

[Chunderbunny]

Originally Posted by meglamaniac

The solution is clearly to spend more time teaching pheasants the green cross code.

The pheasants around Perthshire seem to have a different strategy... Rather than attempting to cross the road, they seem more to enjoy the idea of skittering about in a panic, in the middle of the road, when they hear a car engine. I don't know if any of you have seen this but its quite amusing.... Their asses kind of slide out from under them as they skitter, with the ass momentum dragging the top half of the bird along with it. This combined with their feet, which seem inneffectual at keeping the bird attached to the tarmac in anyway, leads to what can only be described as a 'rather comical experience'. I swear, Warner Brothers would be making better cartoons if only they would send Warner Brothers animators out to Perthshire to study the game there...

Anyhow, during the day, its actually quite pleasant to slow down on the country roads and watch the show (smelling the roses and all that). That and the fact it's amazing how long the silly birds will carry on their 'Bambis first steps' act in front of the car before actually getting off the road. During the night however, you can't really see the birds, and thats when the fatalaties start racking up. Every 10km or so you hear that dull, sickening thud, as another one bites the proverbial dust... And its that this time that the vans appear.

Travelling around Perthshires mountains with my family one warm spring evening, pleasantly lost and trying to find the hotel, a van approaches us at very high speed. Predicting an overtaking manoevure, my stepdad inches towards the side of the road. However, against these predictions, the van slows down very close to us and proceeds to match our speed... Of course, this is a little disconcerting, having a white transit van follow at a rather uncomfortably close distance in rural, mountainous Scotland. I start to hear fast bango playing in my head and screams of 'Squeal piggy squeal!' (though I fear a childhood diet of redneck horror and too many E numbers hasn't left me the most balanced individual in the world). No sooner had a few concerned words been passed around the car (actually, my stepfather drives; and speaks; like a taxi driver, concerned words is a rather diplomatic description), there was another *thump*.

Another one bit the proverbial dust.

The van, as sudden as its appearance screeched to a halt. Hitting probably the only long stretch of straight road there had been for miles allowed us to view what was happening. Two surly looking men, fishermans coats, tweed trousers and 'old man' caps rushed out the van, grabbed the fresh roadkill and lobbed it in the back of the van.

Apparently poaching is illegal in Scotland.

Returning back to the hotel about half an hour later, we went straight to the restaurant, a fine place, with a hearty selection of traditional Scottish cuisine. Scanning the menu they had Aberdeen Angus Steak (cooked to your liking), Haggis Neeps and Tatties, Wild Salmon and Scrambled Eggs, and the 'Chef's Special'. The waiter came over for the orders after a comfortable amount of time, his sense of timing as impeccable as the suit and tie setup he was wearing. My only discomfort was he was too serving... A two year eating out itinary of student pubs and greasy joes had made me more used to the 'rough and ready' method of waiter service. He seemed eager to answer my stepfathers questioning of the steak in minute and succulent detail, so I felt I should pipe in with a question about the 'Chef's Special'

"Ah that sir, is the finest pheasant Perthshire has to offer, we choose the most succulent birds from the finest sources. We braise it in a fine 12 year old fine Tullardine single malt, and stuff the bird with our speciality haggis stuffing. In fact, we just got an excellent bunch of birds in today sir!"

He stopped his description and looked at me, expectant of my further questioning or order. I glanced out the window briefly. Sat at one of the outside garden tables were two men, fishermans coats, tweed trousers, 'old man' caps... I looked back at my waiter, his obsequious manner and cringing grin could have been masking anything...

"I'll take the steak, medium rare"

[Yahwe]

grouse are worse than pheasant

and partridge make grouse appear 'street wise'