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Unread 4 Jun 2005, 13:04   #1
Structural Integrity
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Catching a thieving bastard

We got a thieving bastard in the house and I want to catch him. Sometimes money just spontaneously diappears from my wallet. Like today... yesterday I checked and had 10 euros... now I only have 5 left.
I doubt my parents did it, so that leaves my lil' brother or people that sporadically come over, but since my brother is always short on money, and somehow manages to go out 3 times a week without even having a (decent) job, the link is quickly made. This isn't the first time, and we've confronted my brother with this a few times, but he keeps denying. I told him I'd kick him in the face if I ever found out he did it.

I want to catch the thief, and unmistakenly link him to the crime.

So GD, suggest me with ways to catch the thief.
And while you're at it, also suggest ways to deal with him* after he's been caught.



* legal methods preferred
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Unread 4 Jun 2005, 13:08   #2
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Re: Catching a thieving bastard

personally if it were my little bro (if i had one) i would kick hell out of him, but that really wouldn't fit into the 'legal' category.


stop leaving your wallet around though, and get a lock for your room
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Unread 4 Jun 2005, 13:16   #3
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Re: Catching a thieving bastard

Patio.
Bury.
Quick drying cement.




But, can't you subtely use a webcam or something to catch him, then post the video on here.
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Unread 4 Jun 2005, 13:33   #4
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Re: Catching a thieving bastard

Put some kind of powder on your money (blue or the like) which is hard to wash off - I'm certaint here are chemicals to fit that describtion. Or put some pain-bomb in your wallet, so the first person who opens it gets sprayed. Problem with that, of course, is that you can't open it before someone tries to steal again.

As for punishment: LIGHTNING BOLT! LIGHTNING BOLT! (not certain exactly how legal it is - atleast it's not lethal (mostly not lethal)).
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Unread 4 Jun 2005, 13:45   #5
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Re: Catching a thieving bastard

Quote:
Originally Posted by Structural Integrity
We got a thieving bastard in the house and I want to catch him. Sometimes money just spontaneously diappears from my wallet. Like today... yesterday I checked and had 10 euros... now I only have 5 left.
I doubt my parents did it, so that leaves my lil' brother or people that sporadically come over, but since my brother is always short on money, and somehow manages to go out 3 times a week without even having a (decent) job, the link is quickly made. This isn't the first time, and we've confronted my brother with this a few times, but he keeps denying. I told him I'd kick him in the face if I ever found out he did it.

I want to catch the thief, and unmistakenly link him to the crime.

So GD, suggest me with ways to catch the thief.
And while you're at it, also suggest ways to deal with him* after he's been caught.



* legal methods preferred
webcam leaving comp on standby/monitor switched off.
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Unread 4 Jun 2005, 13:45   #6
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Re: Catching a thieving bastard

Tase him, apparently that'll solve all the world's problems.
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Unread 4 Jun 2005, 13:49   #7
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Re: Catching a thieving bastard

even better, taser him on camera in the hope that it will make him shit/piss himself, hopefully either the shock will make him stop theiving, or the blackmail 'you touch my stuff again and i send all of your friends the video of you befouling yourself' should work
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Unread 4 Jun 2005, 14:10   #8
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Re: Catching a thieving bastard

Give him a noogie until he says uncle.
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Unread 4 Jun 2005, 14:18   #9
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Re: Catching a thieving bastard

webcam on computer, wallet in view of webcam and motion detector software which records when it detects something.
as for the punishment thats best for you to think up something sarcasticly painful and/or suitable
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Unread 4 Jun 2005, 14:35   #10
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Re: Catching a thieving bastard

Quote:
Originally Posted by ChubbyChecker
Give him a noogie until he says uncle.
As I scrolled up I swear to God I read that as 'give him a nobbing until he says uncle'.

I'm not sure who that says more about.
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Unread 4 Jun 2005, 14:46   #11
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Re: Catching a thieving bastard

That's really just asking to be insulted.


My suggestion would be to send him off to Guantanamo Bay and i'm sure you'll find out who took the money.
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Unread 4 Jun 2005, 14:48   #12
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Re: Catching a thieving bastard

what you need is a big pit and a spike and some 'leaves'
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Unread 4 Jun 2005, 14:51   #13
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Re: Catching a thieving bastard

Borrow a small camera from a friend, put it on, hide it, put some a few euroes on the table.....

Show your parents the evidence.
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Unread 4 Jun 2005, 14:55   #14
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Re: Catching a thieving bastard

Set up a situation like the money-stealing scene near the beginning of Trading Places, with your family sitting round a table while you demand they empty their wallets to locate the marked money you left in yours.
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Unread 4 Jun 2005, 14:59   #15
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Re: Catching a thieving bastard

thats a genius idea, write something on one of the notes so you can tell it from another, wait for it to be stolen, then demand to see his wallet in public and find it.
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Unread 4 Jun 2005, 15:12   #16
G.K Zhukov
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Re: Catching a thieving bastard

Indeed, there should be a individual number on every euro (not the coins ofc).

The camera solution is more fancy though...
Besides it will be very embarrasing if its not him, or he have already used the money.....
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Unread 4 Jun 2005, 18:20   #17
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Re: Catching a thieving bastard

ok.

This little trick is easy to perform, and always works.

It's simple really.

1. Go to a shop and buy a pornography magazine. If this is too embarassing, any lingerie or tv guide will do as a poor substitute.

2. Lock yourself in the bathroom with the following implements:
-Your new "wank" mag
-A crisp new banknote
-Your penis

3. Masturbate furiously, using the "wank" mag as a prompt to promote ejaculation.

4. As you are about to reach climax, move the crisp new banknote up to the end of your penis.

5. Ejaculate all over the crisp new banknote.

6. Put the banknote in a warm place (preferably on a windowsill - remember not to leave the window open though, if it is windy!)

7. Place the banknote in an easily accessible place. Remember where you placed it.

8. Leave the banknote there and go about your daily life.

9. Wait for the banknote to "disappear".

10. As soon as you notice it has disappeared, confront your brother. Inform him that the "joke's on him" because you "wanked all over that money".


Hope that helped.
Let us know how it goes.
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Unread 4 Jun 2005, 18:49   #18
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Re: Catching a thieving bastard

The same thing has been happening to me.

I start off with £60 in my wallet, go out, get pissed, come back, sleep, and when I wake up some complete w4nker has stolen all of it.

I am totally puzzled by this phenomenon....
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Unread 4 Jun 2005, 20:05   #19
acropolis
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Re: Catching a thieving bastard

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tomkat
ok.

This little trick is easy to perform, and always works.

It's simple really.

1. Go to a shop and buy a pornography magazine. If this is too embarassing, any lingerie or tv guide will do as a poor substitute.

2. Lock yourself in the bathroom with the following implements:
-Your new "wank" mag
-A crisp new banknote
-Your penis

3. Masturbate furiously, using the "wank" mag as a prompt to promote ejaculation.

4. As you are about to reach climax, move the crisp new banknote up to the end of your penis.

5. Ejaculate all over the crisp new banknote.

6. Put the banknote in a warm place (preferably on a windowsill - remember not to leave the window open though, if it is windy!)

7. Place the banknote in an easily accessible place. Remember where you placed it.

8. Leave the banknote there and go about your daily life.

9. Wait for the banknote to "disappear".

10. As soon as you notice it has disappeared, confront your brother. Inform him that the "joke's on him" because you "wanked all over that money".


Hope that helped.
Let us know how it goes.
why do you need a magazine when you've got a ll the ben franklin you can handle
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Unread 4 Jun 2005, 20:13   #20
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Re: Catching a thieving bastard

Put your wallet out in the open and hide behind a door, when he goes anywhere near your wallet jump out and set him on fire.
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Unread 4 Jun 2005, 20:34   #21
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Re: Catching a thieving bastard

Burden of proof only exists in Court Rooms.

If i suspect family members of "****ing with my shit" that's all i need.

It's like i live in my very own Police State.
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Unread 4 Jun 2005, 20:38   #22
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Re: Catching a thieving bastard

BTW the "moral" of my "story" was:

"Beat the shit out of your little brother and if he complains to your parents start screaming back at them that you wouldn't have to do **** all if they hadn't raised a thief and as such it's really all their fault and your brother's and when it comes down to it you're just an innocent party who got mixed up in a pretty shitty situation"

And if THAT doesn't work beat some sense into your parents.
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Unread 4 Jun 2005, 20:39   #23
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Re: Catching a thieving bastard

I am a 'my house my law' person aswell.
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Unread 4 Jun 2005, 22:05   #24
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Re: Catching a thieving bastard

Quote:
Originally Posted by NEWSBOT3
thats a genius idea, write something on one of the notes so you can tell it from another, wait for it to be stolen, then demand to see his wallet in public and find it.
unless he has already spend the money when struc sees that its missing or he doesnt put the stolen money in his wallet.
id go for the camera (if you really need proof, but if he is the only suspect and that money is really missing, why do you?)
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Unread 4 Jun 2005, 22:19   #25
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Re: Catching a thieving bastard

don't keep money lying around...
If my money started going missing from my wallet I would make sure everyone knew about it.

Hint "maybe it fell out somewhere in my room..." and see if it turns up...
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Unread 4 Jun 2005, 23:47   #26
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Re: Catching a thieving bastard

Hmmm... It is tricky, the one problem with marking your note in any way is that you much *catch* him before hhe spends it... otherwise the ehm, joke would be on you.... Personally I'm a security freak and have a safe and several lock-boxes, but I would definately reccoment not leaving your wallet around! As for punishment... steal his cash.
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Unread 5 Jun 2005, 02:06   #27
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Re: Catching a thieving bastard

webcam idea sounds easiest, though if you've not got one that can be hard.

marking the note in some way would have been my next attempt. comedy coat it in silver nitrate option so his hands turn brown.
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Unread 5 Jun 2005, 02:26   #28
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Re: Catching a thieving bastard

Read this

Then question him.
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Unread 5 Jun 2005, 02:33   #29
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Re: Catching a thieving bastard

Quote:
Originally Posted by Madina
Read this

Then question him.
The person who wrote the info on that website has never met a thug in his life. Some people lie like they speak the truth and most of these criminals can't tell the difference between truth or right or wrong or anything. A hoodlum doesn't have a sense of shame. They don't think like you or I, and it's impossible to understand them or why they do the ****ed up shit they do.

Although the info may work on a half way decent person like a little brother who hasn't learned that stealing is wrong yet.
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Unread 5 Jun 2005, 03:28   #30
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Re: Catching a thieving bastard

Quote:
Originally Posted by s|k
The person who wrote the info on that website has never met a thug in his life. Some people lie like they speak the truth and most of these criminals can't tell the difference between truth or right or wrong or anything. A hoodlum doesn't have a sense of shame. They don't think like you or I, and it's impossible to understand them or why they do the ****ed up shit they do.
errrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

what?
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Unread 5 Jun 2005, 03:57   #31
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Re: Catching a thieving bastard

Quote:
Originally Posted by Yahwe
errrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

what?
dont you read the tabloids?
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Unread 5 Jun 2005, 09:49   #32
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Re: Catching a thieving bastard

steal money back. simple.
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Unread 5 Jun 2005, 10:05   #33
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Re: Catching a thieving bastard

One of those UV pens.

Mark all your money.
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Unread 5 Jun 2005, 12:48   #34
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Re: Catching a thieving bastard

I just love the advice we get here in GD
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Unread 5 Jun 2005, 12:55   #35
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Re: Catching a thieving bastard

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rids
One of those UV pens.

Mark all your money.

Apart from cumming all over the money, I think this is the best solution actually (if he doesn't have a webcam).
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Unread 5 Jun 2005, 13:18   #36
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Re: Catching a thieving bastard

You also need a uv light for it to work.
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Unread 5 Jun 2005, 13:19   #37
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Re: Catching a thieving bastard

Quote:
Originally Posted by s|k
The person who wrote the info on that website has never met a thug in his life. Some people lie like they speak the truth and most of these criminals can't tell the difference between truth or right or wrong or anything. A hoodlum doesn't have a sense of shame. They don't think like you or I, and it's impossible to understand them or why they do the ****ed up shit they do.

Although the info may work on a half way decent person like a little brother who hasn't learned that stealing is wrong yet.
Lucky this topic is about catching his little bro then.
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Unread 6 Jun 2005, 01:19   #38
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Re: Catching a thieving bastard

Quote:
Originally Posted by Madina
Lucky this topic is about catching his little bro then.
My comment was on a post, not the topic.

And to clarify for Yahwe, or to put in terms he can accept: Some people have been raised in a culture of deviance. Now I don't believe in absolute truth, and that has all sorts of philosophical consequences which will contradict my point here, but in anyways let me go on. I know people, for instance a guy named Charlie, who runs a comic book store, who cannot tell the truth for the length of a conversation.

This Charlie has a criminal and drug history that he doesn't hide, and overall I like the guy and I buy comic books from him, and anyways his time at Rikers was completed over thirty years ago. Before I knew any of this he would tell incredibly stories about how, for instance, he got his undergraduate degree in a year in a half, how he was a martial arts expert, how he wrote Tom Clancy about how much he hated his stories and etc...and the list goes on.

At some point in the conversation it is obvious to the casual observer that he is speaking the truth, at another point it is obvious that he is lying through his teeth. At some point in between reality became blurred, an account became a lie and fiction was created. His eyes don't shift to the left, he's not making strange facial features, but nonetheless he's lying his ****ing ass off without missing a beat.

I've met other people, who too have are deviant. Again, a former resident of a penal correction facility (who also had cleaned his life up and was getting a degree) who thought nothing of coming to my dorm room and showing me a bag of hallucinegenic mushrooms that he had picked and asking me if I could give him some money for some of his fungus because he needed the money. I wasn't a close friend of his or anything, in fact I was a Resident Assitant and am supposed to report shit like this. One time while he gave me a ride he just for no reason decided to drive halfway on the sidewalk and halfway on the road in his SUV and when the campus security pulled him over he got indignant!

Some people just are irreconcilably different. The people I've mentioned are still able to be a part of the community with minor problems now and then. Some people however are violent thugs who murder, pillage, rape with no compunction. It's not, in my opinion, anything other than a deviant upringing which creates this. Nonethless tis real and speaking to them about tough concepts such as integrity is pointless.
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Unread 6 Jun 2005, 02:03   #39
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Re: Catching a thieving bastard

Quote:
Originally Posted by s|k
I don't believe in absolute truth, and that has all sorts of philosophical consequences which will contradict my point here, but in anyways let me go on.

Some people just are irreconcilably different. Some people however are violent thugs who murder, pillage, rape with no compunction.
I'm not racist

it's just that all black people are criminals.
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Unread 6 Jun 2005, 03:28   #40
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Re: Catching a thieving bastard

Quote:
Originally Posted by Yahwe
I'm not racist

it's just that all black people are criminals.
I'm not talking about race. I don't believe in biological determinism. I'm talking about people in our society of any race, who differ in thought drastically from others.
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Unread 6 Jun 2005, 03:35   #41
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Re: Catching a thieving bastard

And if you were just pointing out the logical opposition, I did say I would contradict myself. The way I reconcile the two is by perceiving the 'absolutness' of my statement as a flexible interpretation. Sort of like a theoretical model, which isn't real, but provides insight.
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Unread 6 Jun 2005, 03:40   #42
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Re: Catching a thieving bastard

Quote:
Originally Posted by s|k
And if you were just pointing out the logical opposition, I did say I would contradict myself. The way I reconcile the two is by perceiving the 'absolutness' of my statement as a flexible interpretation. Sort of like a theoretical model, which isn't real, but provides insight.
like not being racist

but sayng all indians smell of curry?
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Unread 6 Jun 2005, 03:44   #43
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Re: Catching a thieving bastard

Quote:
Originally Posted by s|k
I'm not talking about race. I don't believe in biological determinism. I'm talking about people in our society of any race, who differ in thought drastically from others.
heh
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Unread 6 Jun 2005, 06:56   #44
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Re: Catching a thieving bastard

Are you saying my argument is racist, or are you saying that I'm contradicting myself or are you saying both or wtf are you saying. You know you might find it even funnier when I tell you that I think the prison system should be replaced with a process of rehabilitation for even the most serious crimes. Just because someone is different doesn't make it right to lock them up for the span of their life. I'm just saying that detecting lies in the way described on that site is silly nonesense.
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Unread 6 Jun 2005, 06:57   #45
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Re: Catching a thieving bastard

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Originally Posted by pablissimo
As I scrolled up I swear to God I read that as 'give him a nobbing until he says uncle'.

I'm not sure who that says more about.
You obviously.

Who else would it say anything about?
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Unread 6 Jun 2005, 08:04   #46
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Re: Catching a thieving bastard

I was secretly hoping you'd planted it in there subconsciously but I give you that it was a long-shot.
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Unread 6 Jun 2005, 11:12   #47
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Re: Catching a thieving bastard

I was I was at home- New Scientists published a column on how people perceive fear. But I shall do my best to recall from memory:

The group of people tested were all about to undergo brain surgery at this time, and is the usual procedure for these sort of things, they were fully conscious and had electrodes implanted into their brain. Yes this is normal, as far as I know, it is so the surgeon can "map out" the patient's brain beforehand, so he knows which areas control what etc. so he can be careful etc. At this point, the amygdala, the part of the brain which controls fear, was being monitored for electrical activity. When thsese subjects were shown random pictures of other people of different ethnic orogins, there were varying degrees of respons in the amygdala. Yet, they found, there was the most activity when the subjects were shown pictures of black people. Even if the subject was black. Odd.

I'm half Irish/Asian by the way....

Anyways, I of course disagree with making assumptions about somebody based on their skin [I mean how they dress is a much better indicator!] but I have a hunch that a lot of these responses comes down to how western media potrays the stereotypical black man- On the rare occassions I visit the cinema/watch T.V.- I see actors laying the role of black, (excuse the next phrase) working class men, who tend to have a little less consideration for others. But we all know that this is T.V.- its not real, black people aren't really like that- but it gets into our subconscious... such is the power of the media... Tis scary...
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Unread 6 Jun 2005, 11:15   #48
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Re: Catching a thieving bastard

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Originally Posted by Thermodynamics
I'm half Irish/Asian by the way....
Sweet and sour Potatos?
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Unread 6 Jun 2005, 11:26   #49
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Re: Catching a thieving bastard

With shepard's noodles of course...
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Unread 6 Jun 2005, 13:31   #50
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Re: Catching a thieving bastard

You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to Ste again.

You catch him yet SI?
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