Worst Birhday ever

[Travler]

Today is my birthday and this has to be the worst birthday ever.

I filed for bankrupsy today. Usually I get to go somewhere to eat but today I was abandoned and left without the means to even buy myself a birthday dinner. I know that I am hated and that no one loves me. I am not allowed to do anything today and I just wish I was dead.

I am alone and abandoned. I am 37 years old and I have nothing to show for my life so far. I have a crap job and a crap life. Nobody loves me.

Actions speak louder than words and I am weary of hearing the lies from people that say they care and then go out of their way to show me that I do not matter and that I am not important any way, shape, or form. To those people that treat me this way I am sorry that you feel the need to belittle me and make me feel so worthless.

I was already depressed and now I am wishing I was dead. If I could figure out a quick and painless way to kill myself I would but I am too chicken to use the tools available to me that would end my life.

I don't know why I am even bothering to post this. No one cares and few will ever see this.


To the one that abandoned me I hope that you are proud of yourself.

[Dead_Meat]

Should have had less sex with her.

[Travler]

Originally Posted by Dead_Meat

Should have had less sex with her.

She promised a bj and sex but that was a total lie.

[Androme]

I had sex with a teddy bear once.

[Sharur]

Originally Posted by Travler

I was already depressed and now I am wishing I was dead. If I could figure out a quick and painless way to kill myself I would but I am too chicken to use the tools available to me that would end my life.

Wouldn't that make sure you go to hell?

[milo]

Originally Posted by Toccata & Fugue

once?

i don't think my parents realised what i did with the huge 3ft bear they got me


edit i don't really see how being 'abandoned' by someone you don't 'like' is a bad thing. Take the opportunity to run away to las vegas.


edit edit
suicide may be painless and bring on many changes but its also against the laws of your god, although it would be amusing to have no hope left in life, kill yourself, then find your god had forsaken you in death.

[Apothos]

Just look on the bright side, it's a year closer to death. :)

[Deffeh]

Originally Posted by Travler

Today is my birthday and this has to be the worst birthday ever.

I filed for bankrupsy today. Usually I get to go somewhere to eat but today I was abandoned and left without the means to even buy myself a birthday dinner. I know that I am hated and that no one loves me. I am not allowed to do anything today and I just wish I was dead.

I am alone and abandoned. I am 37 years old and I have nothing to show for my life so far. I have a crap job and a crap life. Nobody loves me.

Actions speak louder than words and I am weary of hearing the lies from people that say they care and then go out of their way to show me that I do not matter and that I am not important any way, shape, or form. To those people that treat me this way I am sorry that you feel the need to belittle me and make me feel so worthless.

I was already depressed and now I am wishing I was dead. If I could figure out a quick and painless way to kill myself I would but I am too chicken to use the tools available to me that would end my life.

I don't know why I am even bothering to post this. No one cares and few will ever see this.


To the one that abandoned me I hope that you are proud of yourself.

Jesus loves you and more importantly so does the internet.

Chin up

[TheShadowMan]

Originally Posted by Travler

Actions speak louder than words and I am weary of hearing the lies from people that say they care and then go out of their way to show me that I do not matter and that I am not important any way, shape, or form. To those people that treat me this way I am sorry that you feel the need to belittle me and make me feel so worthless.

i think you've misunderstood what GD is all about...

[Hicks]

Do you think this will be called a "hate forum" when it makes CNN ?

[Mzyxptlk]

Who, the half dead 90 year old parent?



P.S.
I highly doubt GD is the place to discuss your suicidal ideation. Then again, it never will be if no one ever tries!

[Maladoni]

I'd say you're depressed but that's an understatement. Go to the doctor's and get some happy pills for the immediate short term and take positive steps to sort things out.

Happy Birthday!

[Mzyxptlk]

Originally Posted by Nantoz

Not even in the Netherlands is senility cause enough for assisted suicide (or assisted "death help" as the Norwegian euphemism goes), which is quite a different thing to the "oh I'm so sad and emo thatI just want to die, even though I live in the rich Western world and have a better life than most of the world's population can even dream about"-suicide which is under discussion here.

Who are you to force me/anyone to live?

[Dante Hicks]

Originally Posted by Nantoz

But consider this; Scandinavia is one of the most prosperous regions in the world, yet the suicide rate is on the top of the chart.
But suicide is quite unusal in a region like sub-Saharan Africa....

Well, Africa tends to do better than Europe in those optimism polls, which is justified in the sense that Africa is much more likely to grow than Europe, as far as that's meaningful. And if you've got practical problems which occupy most of your waking energies, then you might not have much time to dedicate to existential despair.

Having said that, how reliable are statistics on suicide, internationally speaking? Lots of cultures seem to have taboos on suicide, but while hiding the cause of death in Europe might pose some difficulties that's probably less true in the Congo. Additionally, if we expanded suicide to include other forms of self-harm which can lead to death (e.g. drug abuse) then at least some people engaging in unprotected sex in sub-Saharan Africa do seem to be acting at least wrecklessly, if not suicidal.

[Mzyxptlk]

Originally Posted by Nantoz

I am not going to force anyone to keep away from taking their own life if they feel like trying. I'm just saying that I find it pathetic and weak.

[...] To take your own life just because the last week has been shit isn't really something I can respect.

I totally agree.

Originally Posted by Nantoz

But It is a known fact that most suicidal tendencies are quite impulsive and short-term. [...]

Most people that fail at suicide do not try again, more or less proving that most attempts are more of a cry for helpt than a genuine death wish.

True, only approximately 5% of suicide attempts ends in death. However, nearly 50% of all succesful suicides are preceded by a failed attempt. I agree that there's a big difference between a cry for help and a genuine death wish, but that difference is hard to determine for an outsider, or even a close friend or relative, if not completely impossible.

Besides, it's not all that easy to actually kill yourself. Of course it partly depends on having a means (which is why suicide by firearm is much more common in the United States than it is in, say, the Netherlands), but also on ones determination. Whether you jump off a building, shoot yourself, hang yourself, or take a bunch of barbiturates, the mental barrier is enormous. It's very easy to stop taking pills, to ever so slightly move the barrel of the gun, much easier than it is to actually go through with it. Hell, we've got all these nice reflexes that are supposed to keep us from getting harmed, they work as well in you as they do in people who are tired of life.

Originally Posted by Nantoz

But consider this; Scandinavia is one of the most prosperous regions in the world, yet the suicide rate is on the top of the chart.

This is not true. The first prosperous country in the charts is Japan, which is in 11th place (24/100k). Out of the first 10, 7 were formerly part of the Soviet Union, complemented by Sri Lanka, Kazakstan and Guyana (not exactly the richest countries in the world). Lithuania leads by a comfortable margin (42/100k). Finno-Scandinavian countries are nowhere to be seen (Finland takes 15th place (20/100k), Denmark 28th (14/100k), Sweden 31st (13/100k), and Norway 41st (12/100k)).
That said, it does seem like the bottom regions of the list are comprised almost solely of non-Western countries (Greece is the only Western country in the bottom 30, and there are only a further 4 in the next 20).

I'm not entirely sure what are you trying to imply by this though...

[Travler]

Originally Posted by Sharur

Wouldn't that make sure you go to hell?

I think so. There is some debate on this but it really boils down to how fast you can pray after taking an action that will kill you and when you die.

[All Systems Go]

Originally Posted by Travler

Today is my birthday and this has to be the worst birthday ever.

I filed for bankrupsy today. Usually I get to go somewhere to eat but today I was abandoned and left without the means to even buy myself a birthday dinner. I know that I am hated and that no one loves me. I am not allowed to do anything today and I just wish I was dead.

I am alone and abandoned. I am 37 years old and I have nothing to show for my life so far. I have a crap job and a crap life. Nobody loves me.

Actions speak louder than words and I am weary of hearing the lies from people that say they care and then go out of their way to show me that I do not matter and that I am not important any way, shape, or form. To those people that treat me this way I am sorry that you feel the need to belittle me and make me feel so worthless.

I was already depressed and now I am wishing I was dead. If I could figure out a quick and painless way to kill myself I would but I am too chicken to use the tools available to me that would end my life.

I don't know why I am even bothering to post this. No one cares and few will ever see this.


To the one that abandoned me I hope that you are proud of yourself.

Today, you are truly a member of the GD family.

[All Systems Go]

Originally Posted by Nantoz

People that are well adjusted don't need religion.

But not beliving in God, doesn't make you well adjusted.

At 37 years of age you still have most of your life ahead of you; so cheer up, emo kid (emo adult, whatever). Get a grip, get laid, get drunk and do something about your life instead of complaining.

qft.

Do NOT steal insulin from your diabetic friend and kill yourself by hypoglycemic shock. Nothing is more pathetic than suicide. I guess suicide is the only way you could go further downhill, aside from that it can only get better from here.

Yes. Give depressed people ideas. Well done.

[All Systems Go]

Originally Posted by Nantoz

"death help" as the Norwegian euphemism

That's the best euphemism ever. Just because it isn't one.

[_Kila_]

I think he was looking for the word "euthanasia"

[Dante Hicks]

Originally Posted by horn

grow in terms of population?

No, economic growth. And not just the GDP doubled sort of stuff - actual advancement in living standards. OK, it's all subjective - but I'm not sure there's much on the horizon for Europeans that will rock their world unless we make some real progress with a new energy source, get some real results in terms of genetic modification or nanotechnology. But for a country which is at the bottom of the pile right now, there is a chance that their childrens lives could be dramatically better than theres (in terms of access to clean water, better sanitation, dramatically better than medicene). Put another way : the UK had a life expectancy of 65 years in 1950-55. Now it's about 74years. It's take 50 years to increase less than a decade. If we look at China (which was much poorer per capita than the UK in 1950, and still is) it's gone from 42 to 69.

would this mean that people who work longer hours in the west should have a lower chance of developing depression?

It depends on what you're doing in those hours and why you're doing them. I don't think "people who work longer hours" is a coherent group of people - between jobs expectations vary wildly. There was something in the media a while ago about graduates going into financial firms had "unrealistically low expectations" of how many hours they'd need to do - since they thought they could get away with 50 hour weeks. In lots of jobs, 50 hour weeks are actively discouraged.

If someone is working long hours in a job which does not stimulate them at all and they are not engaging in physically tiring labour, I would imagine would be prone to feeling a bit miserable. If you're kept manically busy then it's different - most jobs which have been physically exhausting that I've done I've not found depressing (in the same way tedious admin work can be) since I've tended to get home and go straight to sleep and not had the time to mope while working. Now, if I did that for a number of years I might feel quite different of course.

But not all people dislike the work they do. In my own office, there is a broad correlation between people working long hours and seniority within the organisation. This is unsurprising given (a) they were promoted for a reason and (b) they tend to be doing work that is more interesting. I work much longer hours than I did four/five years ago, but the work is dramatically more enjoyable, so any direct comparison isn't meaningful.

Additionally, I would think that depression is very much linked to your perception of choice or freedom. The Chief Exec might have to work 70 hours a week to keep on top of things, but he or she can always choose to step back - move to a smaller home, work less hours, take a career break or retire early on the pension/savings they might have built up. Yeah, they might never do these things - but that doesn't matter, life is much more tolerable if you know where the emergency exits are located.

If you're working long hours because you've got a family to support and you're only earning £6 an hour then retiring at 50 to a little chateu in France might be a tad optimistic.

[Mzyxptlk]

Originally Posted by Nantoz

I do still have somewhat of a point, though. Suicide is the second most common cause of death for Norwegian young men (age 10-24) according to Statistics Norway (www.ssb.no), and third most common for young women.

I think that's the case in most Western countries. It's possible this is because suicide rates are higher, but I think it has more to do with the fact that we simply die much less of diseases and accidents, making the relatively few suicides (I mean, 20 in 100k is not exactly huge) the (or one of the) prime cause(s) of death.

Originally Posted by Dante Hicks

Yeah, they might never do these things - but that doesn't matter, life is much more tolerable if you know where the emergency exits are located.

It is interesting to note that suicide is also one such emergency exit, although many wouldn't consider it to be. Knowing that, whenever you really can't take it any more, you can shoot yourself with the gun in the drawer under your bed can be a big consolidation, up to the point of actually decreasing the chance you one day actually use it*.



* Admittedly, that last part is speculation, although combined with some blogs/diaries I've read that were written by people who were or are depressed and/or suicidal. It would probably be interesting to conduct a study to get some more substantial evidence, although I highly doubt it'd work out in practice (if only because of the moral issues most people have with giving suicidally depressed people a means to kill themselves, just to see what happens).

[All Systems Go]

Originally Posted by Mzyxptlk

It is interesting to note that suicide is also one such emergency exit

Yes, suicide is exactly like a villa in Spain. Well done.

[Dead_Meat]

My family has a villa in Spain.

Should I be concerned?

[Radical Edward]

that's what you get for being a Jesus Freak. I have no pity for you.

[Marilyn Manson]

Originally Posted by Traveler

If I could figure out a quick and painless way to kill myself I would but I am too chicken to use the tools available to me that would end my life.

There was a good page that I was viewing a while back when I was thinking of topping myself which gave you a run down of the best methods. I can't really remember all of it, but the jist of it is that benadryl is the best stuff to top yourself with (I'm not sure if you have benadryl in the states but there's a chemical compound in it which is in mass-use, so it would just be a case of looking to see what products that is used in over there) and it really is quite hard to do yourself in. Could be messy too, if you **** it up. I'll PM you it if I find it.

But you know what I found out? The best thing to do is to have a wank and drink a lot of booze. Life isn't all that bad. Look on the bright side. Worse things happen at sea.

Even if you have a really shit life (And let's face it, most of us do) then you'd be better off just sticking things out for the experience, if nothing else. You only get one shot at it. So cheer up, you miserable bastard and think of all the damage to your liver/brain/face you would do if you ****ed up your suicide (and, let's be honest about it, you probably would.)

Originally Posted by Dead_Meat

Should I be concerned?

If your family is hiding Madeline McCann in the basement, then yeah, probably.

[furball]

Originally Posted by Marilyn Manson

There was a good page that I was viewing a while back when I was thinking of topping myself which gave you a run down of the best methods.

Was it this?

[Mzyxptlk]

Generally speaking, OTC medicine is a bad, bad way to do yourself in. Drugs become OTC partly because it is (for fun, look up aspirin or paracetamol on wikipedia). Benadryl is OTC. More specifically, the worst you'll likely experience with a Benadryl overdose is a stomache ache, sleepiness and some laboured breathing. And you could wet yourself.

[All Systems Go]

Originally Posted by Mzyxptlk

Generally speaking, OTC medicine is a bad, bad way to do yourself in. Drugs become OTC partly because it is (for fun, look up aspirin or paracetamol on wikipedia). Benadryl is OTC. More specifically, the worst you'll likely experience with a Benadryl overdose is a stomache ache, sleepiness and some laboured breathing. And you could wet yourself.

However, attempting to put in in a brownie and feed it to a 'Christian Scientist' will end with hilarious results!

[Mzyxptlk]

I'm sure!

[DarkHeart]

I read sumwhere that scandanavian suicide rates are so high because of the short days and long winters. We get S.A.D. in Britain where winters aren't exactly intolerable....so I figure the claim might have some merit to it.

Anyway travler - get a piece of paper. A nice big piece of A3. Draw a line across the middle of it. Thats ground zero. A nothing good, nothing bad kind of place in life. Just existence. The very bottom of the page is suicide. the very top of the page is bliss.

Obv ur depressed, but u aint done the dirty and popped youself so draw a line sumwhere near the bottom. That you, your life right now.

Now have a period of self analysis. What sucks..money obviously, but bankruptcy can often be a relief rather than a burden. Do you have a special lady? Love is a powerful thing. Belonging, who are your real mates. Is there any? Is there people you felt a connection with but for some reason or another never got round to keeping in touch, and doing stuff with. Can you get back in touch with these people or can you join any social clubs in your area were you might meet like minded people.

Your job. Yeah jobs can be crappy. they can be boring and suck major ass, but your job and your life is what you make of it. Money might not make you happy (as its claimed personally it makes me very happy) but money can provide the means to expand your horizons and pursue intrests that do make you happy.

So you need a plan. Analyse your job, and break it down into a list of duties just like you would if you were explaining your position on a c.v. What are your duties? Which do you enjoy doing and which don't you enjoy doing. And why don't you enjoy certain duties. Is there a more efficient way of doing these duties, or a quicker and as productive way maintaining a fair standard of quality which you could perform so you don't have to spend as much time on these duties?. If you have an idea on how to improve your productivity and efficiency, make a list, then when your in work try to introduce these aspects into your functions. Shit like that gets noticed by your superiors!

Most importantly ( i feel ) when you go into work leave your troubles at the door. Theres very little you can do about them whilst your in work so they aint worth worrying about. Focus purely on your work, and the feelings and emotions of your colleagues. Try to make them smile and feel comfortable around you, but don't act the like the class clown. Even if you have very little in common with somebody, ask them about their day...what they got up to last night, build a good foundation for small talk. And be honest. Don't exaggerate or lie about yourself or your achievments.

Be confident in yourself, but have the confidence to tell somebody when a deadline or an expectation is unachievable. Your not superman and your friends, peers and superiors will respect you for having the ability to prioritse, strategise and give a sound evaluation of what can be achieved.

Life is liek a driving long distance in a foreign country, theres plenty of wrong turns and its ez to get lost. You need to make yourself a map, a plan, giver your life direction and set yourself realistic and achievable goals to help climb that piece of paper. Stash it sumwhere, and every month get it back out. Look at what goals you set yourself, what you have accomplished and what you didn't, and mark down where you think your life is that month. Re-evaluate to ensure you can keep climbing, or to stop the rot if you feel it has slipped a bit.

Good luck ba.

[Marilyn Manson]

Originally Posted by DarkHeart

I read sumwhere that scandanavian suicide rates are so high because of the short days and long winters.

Shit weather, extortionate alcohol, ****-all to do; it's a recipe for death.

But anyway, Trevler has no excuse. The man has religion ffs.