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Unread 3 Nov 2002, 00:39   #1
Sarina_Joy
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Can you...
Can you imagine a situation where you could say you didn't love your own child?

Can you ever imagine going to your mother/father/friend and saying 'I like my 18 month old child but I don't love him and therefore I am walking away from him and leaving him in your care' !?

Can you imagine having done this that you will be able to live your life without feeling eternally guilty?
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Unread 3 Nov 2002, 00:44   #2
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Who is the father?
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Unread 3 Nov 2002, 00:46   #3
Sarina_Joy
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I am not talking about me.

I have no idea who the father is, all I know is that he isn't in the picture.
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Unread 3 Nov 2002, 00:48   #4
Bloomers III
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The child is 18 months old, how do they know they won't love them? Are they still capable of raising their chil? If so they should still look after the child etc. If not then they should foster the baby, not hand it to a friend etc.
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Unread 3 Nov 2002, 00:52   #5
Sarina_Joy
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She handed him to her mother.

She is 19 years old. She is capable of raising him she just can't be bothered. She would rather go to the pub every night, that is the bottom line. I can understand that she is young and wants to enjoy her life, but I cannot understand that she could actually utter the words 'I do not love my child I merely like him'
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Unread 3 Nov 2002, 00:58   #6
Bloomers III
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she's too short sighted to realise that she will love her child. She's treating it like a dog, once it's no longer cute you can give it away. how does she know what love is? i don't
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Unread 3 Nov 2002, 01:03   #7
Sarina_Joy
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Quote:
Originally posted by Bloomers III
She's treating it like a dog, once it's no longer cute you can give it away.

That is exactly what she is doing. The problem is will not come now. He has his grandparents, great grandparents, aunties and other friends and family to love him and take care of him. The problem will come in 5/10 years time when she realises what she has given away, and that she can never have it back.
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Unread 3 Nov 2002, 01:14   #8
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I don't intend to have children, so it wouldn't apply really.
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Unread 3 Nov 2002, 05:31   #9
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It would depend entirely on the situation, and the various factors involved. If the child was likely to have a better life with whoever took him of her hands, then I think she would be justified in doing what she done. In fact, Id go one step further than that and say that I think it would actually show a tremendous amount of maturity and self-honesty.

If she honestly didnt love the child, it would make more sense leaving him in the hands of someone who did love him, and would be willing to care for him in ways that she wasnt. As long as she did her utmost to ensure that whoever she gave him to would give him at least as good a start in life as she could, I wouldnt blame her at all for it.

Having said that, she had no right whatsover expecting her parents/friends to jump in and bail her out. If she tried to force the child on anyone against their will, then she would be completely out of order.
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Unread 3 Nov 2002, 14:33   #10
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It does depend upon the situation ofc. There are specific circumstances that I am talking about (and of course you don't know about). At the moment I feel angry with the girl in question, which I can't really explain as it is not the emotion I would have predicted feeling.
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Unread 3 Nov 2002, 14:41   #11
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yes. if it cries. why do kids cry? i shook my cousin when he cried untill he stopped. now he is quiet. i like the peace
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Unread 3 Nov 2002, 18:04   #12
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I couldn't imagine not loving my 'future' child.

That's one of the things I look forward to most, loving someone lots and lots and lots.

I'm a bit sad, don't worry.
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Unread 3 Nov 2002, 18:16   #13
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Quote:
Originally posted by KaneED
I couldn't imagine not loving my 'future' child.

That's one of the things I look forward to most, loving someone lots and lots and lots.

I'm a bit sad, don't worry.
My thoughts echo yours.

Loving them enough to hand them over to someone else who can care for them better is admirable. But if it really was out of laziness then then dim bint shouldn't have got knocked up in the first place. I would suggest punishing her by making her look after the kid, but that would just compound the error by making the kid's life a misery.

Neuter the stupid.

rofl @ Xillah's post
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Unread 3 Nov 2002, 18:45   #14
Sarina_Joy
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The situation was that the girl was staying with her parents, and had their full support, both monetary and emotional. She still had a 'life' she still went out at the weekend with her friends, she still had 'freedom' if you like. Instead of making the best of this situation, she has walked away from her child (who is not without problems due to the fact that he had meningitis at the age of 4 months and is therefore rather underdeveloped for his age (not that this has any bearing on the matter)). By doing so she has cut herself off from her family as well. While she will now be able to do exactly what she wants when she wants, she will never get back what she had, which is a loving family and a beautiful child. She has not only deprived Aiden of his mother, she has deprived herself of her son and family. While she might think that this is what she wants now, I have no doubt that she will live to regret it.
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Unread 3 Nov 2002, 19:32   #15
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the glories of birth control

if i live that long, if anyone ever liked me that i liked, i would want to have kids when im at the youngest 35

you can be a parent at any time, you have only one prime of life.
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Unread 3 Nov 2002, 19:43   #16
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some people will make stupid decisions in life.
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Unread 3 Nov 2002, 20:09   #17
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I don't believe in automatic love, and I certainly don't believe in duty, or guilt. I probably would stick with a child of mine tho.
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Unread 3 Nov 2002, 21:33   #18
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Quote:
Originally posted by KaneED
I couldn't imagine not loving my 'future' child.

That's one of the things I look forward to most, loving someone lots and lots and lots.

I'm a bit sad, don't worry.
Your not sad at all, it is unfortunate that your peers make you feel that way
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