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24 Jan 2008, 11:57
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#1
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Gone
Join Date: Jan 2001
Posts: 14,656
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MM's Mid-Life Crisis
The other day I was happily browsing through my local newspaper/carpet-furniture warehouse trade paper, when I was startled to come across an article of personal interest.
It was a sort of mini-article really.
I can’t even remember what it was about, fundamentally.
What I do remember is that it featured a chap I used to be at school with.
He is called Scott. He is a lovely chap. You could never dislike Scott. But what piqued my interest was that he was pictured holding his daughter. She was reported as being eighteen months old. Eighteen months. He was also reported as having a wife.
**** me.
Up until this point I didn’t know Scott was in a serious relationship, much less had a child and a wife. I had seen him on a social basis last about a year ago and this subject had never come up. I knew he had a good job as an archivist, but that was it.
As I say, **** me.
I don’t think I can really convey how much of a shock this was to me. It was an emotional cluster**** of epic proportions. Here I was, a jobless, prospectless, loveless, batshit-insane ex-coke fiend and here were other people who I knew well from early adolescence onwards going about their business, becoming mature members of society and actually nurturing offspring. It didn’t seem right. It didn’t seem proper. I was thrown into a mire of self-doubt. What the **** was I doing with my life? I was, in short, utterly head****ed. I was as head****ed as if Mukhtar Safarov had inserted his penis into my ear and pushed it all the way in until it touched my brain.
Yep. I had ****ed up my life in grandiose fashion. This wasn’t how it was supposed to turn out. Something had gone wrong. At some point I’d diverged from a more or less normal existence and into the sort of life where you feel it’s utterly normal to swear at strangers and have animated conversations with yourself in public situations. The sort of life where you regularly find yourself drinking large amounts of alcohol before noon. And not wine or G + T’s or anything like that. No. I mean the sort of stuff that is produced when you ask the barman “What’s the strongest stuff you’ve got for two pounds forty?“ I clenched the top of my skull and tried to pull my scalp over my face.
I felt very old all of a sudden. I was, after all, on the cusp of being half-way to thirty. A fogey. And what did I have to show for it? The princely sum of precisely ****-all, that’s what.
Then came the realisation: it was the answer. It was so clear to me: go out clubbing and get utterly ****ing muntered out of your skull.
Which indeed I promptly did.
I know I will come under withering personal attack for having the sheer chutzpah to expose my intimate thoughts and emotions on GD, but who honestly gives a ****? We spend our entire lives alone and we die alone. That’s the top and bottom of it. It’s not true that life’s a bitch. You’re life’s bitch.
So, in conclusion: bottles of the much-acclaimed alcopop 'Wee Beastie' are very good for dulling the crashing pain of an alienated existence in a godless universe and **** you, you cynical sour-faced soulless bastards.
Last edited by Marilyn Manson; 24 Jan 2008 at 12:05.
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24 Jan 2008, 12:06
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#2
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Motherfracker
Join Date: May 2001
Posts: 2,985
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Re: MM's Mid-Life Crisis
First of all, thanks for opening up and sharing your heart MM, you touched me.
Secondly, when typing this out did you have to think really hard about which parts to enbolden and italicise?
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24 Jan 2008, 12:07
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#3
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..yet opinionated
Join Date: Aug 2003
Posts: 208
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Re: MM's Mid-Life Crisis
Did you only come to this conclusion when you read that article? Never thought about that at all before that?
If you're 25 (I do suspect you're 25 and not 15 when you say you're half way to thirty) you still got lots of time, I tell you this because I'm 23 and I worry about the same thing you do. We can lie to eachother telling ourselves everything will be alright!
Anyway maybe this will cheer you up:
I have a 39 year old friend, that's not unnattractive and very social in dealing with people, that still lives with his parents and works for his dad. Marriage and children will probably never happen for him and he seems okay with this.
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24 Jan 2008, 12:07
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#4
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Gone
Join Date: Jan 2001
Posts: 14,656
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Re: MM's Mid-Life Crisis
Quote:
Originally Posted by KaneED
First of all, thanks for opening up and sharing your heart MM, you touched me.
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Thanks hunny bun.
Quote:
Originally Posted by KaneED
Secondly, when typing this out did you have to think really hard about which parts to enbolden and italicise?
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I am the only person who has ever posted on this forum, other than Dace, who has used bold and italics as God intended them to be used.
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24 Jan 2008, 12:10
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#5
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The Twilight of the Gods
Join Date: Jan 2001
Posts: 23,481
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Re: MM's Mid-Life Crisis
At least you're not a hedhodge
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24 Jan 2008, 12:11
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#6
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Gone
Join Date: Jan 2001
Posts: 14,656
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Re: MM's Mid-Life Crisis
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sharur
Did you only come to this conclusion when you read that article? Never thought about that at all before that?
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I'd thought about the pointlessness of my own existence a lot, just not in relation to my peers, I suppose.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sharur
If you're 25 (I do suspect you're 25 and not 15 when you say you're half way to thirty)
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A gold star is for you!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sharur
you still got lots of time, I tell you this because I'm 23 and I worry about the same thing you do. We can lie to eachother telling ourselves everything will be alright!
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Yes lets!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sharur
Anyway maybe this will cheer you up:
I have a 39 year old friend, that's not unnattractive and very social in dealing with people, that still lives with his parents and works for his dad. Marriage and children will probably never happen for him and he seems okay with this.
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Yeah. Always nice to know there's someone in the shit more than you.
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24 Jan 2008, 12:12
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#7
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Gone
Join Date: Jan 2001
Posts: 14,656
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Re: MM's Mid-Life Crisis
Quote:
Originally Posted by MrL_JaKiri
At least you're not a hedhodge
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Margaret Hodge ****ed a hedgehog now?
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24 Jan 2008, 12:12
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#8
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..yet opinionated
Join Date: Aug 2003
Posts: 208
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Re: MM's Mid-Life Crisis
Quote:
Originally Posted by Marilyn Manson
Yeah. Always nice to know there's someone in the shit more than you.
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It's the only reason why I like to meet other people. Nice to meet you, by the way.
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24 Jan 2008, 12:22
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#9
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The Twilight of the Gods
Join Date: Jan 2001
Posts: 23,481
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Re: MM's Mid-Life Crisis
Quote:
Originally Posted by Marilyn Manson
Margaret Hodge ****ed a hedgehog now?
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It was in all the colour supplements
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24 Jan 2008, 12:37
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#10
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Clerk
Join Date: Jun 2001
Posts: 13,940
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Re: MM's Mid-Life Crisis
I'm on a word for the day email-list for retarded expressions, phrases, etc. A month before my 25th birthday (oh so many years ago) the word-phrase for the day was :
3. quarter life crisis
The psychological strain that is encountered on one's 25th birthday. Subject often realizes that he/she has lived a quarter century and still hasn't done anything consequential.
Also, your previous cocaine use (that was you, wasn't it?) has probably ruined what little ability you had to find joy/excitement in the simple things. Don't worry, I'm the same. Going through life with a general sense of disdain get's me by fine.
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24 Jan 2008, 12:40
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#11
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Motherfracker
Join Date: May 2001
Posts: 2,985
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Re: MM's Mid-Life Crisis
I haven't even take cocaine and I go through my life with a general sense of disdain what hope is there for me?
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24 Jan 2008, 13:34
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#12
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:alpha:
Join Date: May 2002
Location: London, UK
Posts: 7,871
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Re: MM's Mid-Life Crisis
You should probably take some cocaine then KaneED (cokaneED).
There's always going to be people in an enviable position of life to you MM. I'm jealous of quite a few of my friends for the jobs they have or the places they live or whatever. That won't change however hard you strive to become a better person. It's a psychological version of "keeping up with the Joneses".
Instead, you should probably make excuses for why your life is pretty crappy (I use "cancer"! but i don't think you could). Didn't you have to look after your dad pretty much 24/7 for ages? Reassure yourself with nice, plausible excuses.
__________________
"There is no I in team, but there are two in anal fisting"
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24 Jan 2008, 16:44
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#13
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Evil inside
Join Date: Nov 2001
Posts: 3,631
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Re: MM's Mid-Life Crisis
I also got sort of depressed when I turned 25. Don't worry, you will most likely get over it after a week.
But remember, that nobody else can run your own life for you. Now go get a job or do something useful, aye!
I turned 28 today, and Im now cool with it.
__________________
<Germania>but you called Fury a bully, and that is terribly unfair
<Hicks>Occassionally individuals do things without Executive consent
<Dreadnought>You cant whois on Eclipse server without a registered nic, which mr ****stirrer doesnt have.
<Almeida> well i like to grow fat myself too, and when i have enough ships then i can engage in big battles
<Nantoz> Zhukov for Lord Protector!
<Jakiri> (Windows)XP was fine on release
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24 Jan 2008, 17:39
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#14
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Motherfracker
Join Date: May 2001
Posts: 2,985
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Re: MM's Mid-Life Crisis
Quote:
Originally Posted by G.K Zhukov
I also got sort of depressed when I turned 25. Don't worry, you will most likely get over it after a week.
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Isn't being depressed and getting over it after week likely not to be related to depression at all?
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24 Jan 2008, 18:40
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#15
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Pro. Elbow Licker
Join Date: Aug 2003
Posts: 247
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Re: MM's Mid-Life Crisis
i believe that's called feeling down, not necessarily related to the down syndrome, rather than depressed
__________________
.: Truth is an event, and only through experience can the veracity of a truth be verified. :.
.: A great many people think they are thinking when they are merely rearranging their prejudices. :.
.: Soaring where angels fear to fly. :.
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24 Jan 2008, 19:02
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#16
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Bored
Join Date: Apr 2001
Location: Nottm ->Shef ->Croydon ->Manc ->Durham ->Sheffield
Posts: 6,506
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Re: MM's Mid-Life Crisis
I'm nearly 25 and I'm not depressed.
I still feel young...
Also - MM, you didn't invite me out for a drink or reply to my text
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24 Jan 2008, 19:49
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#17
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I am.
Join Date: Nov 2004
Posts: 6,580
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Re: MM's Mid-Life Crisis
i don't even have a dukedom
__________________
hi
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24 Jan 2008, 22:58
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#18
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USS Oklahoma
Join Date: Jun 2005
Posts: 2,500
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Re: MM's Mid-Life Crisis
Quote:
Originally Posted by Marilyn Manson
I was as head****ed as if Mukhtar Safarov had inserted his penis into my ear and pushed it all the way in until it touched my brain.
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I had never heard that Mukhtar was that well endowed.
__________________
Ignorance is curable, stupidity is not.
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24 Jan 2008, 22:59
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#19
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USS Oklahoma
Join Date: Jun 2005
Posts: 2,500
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Re: MM's Mid-Life Crisis
Quote:
Originally Posted by Yahwe
i don't even have a dukedom
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Never settle for anything less than you deserve.
__________________
Ignorance is curable, stupidity is not.
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25 Jan 2008, 12:37
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#20
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Registered User
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: London
Posts: 3,347
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Re: MM's Mid-Life Crisis
Quote:
Originally Posted by horn
also, do you actually want kids?
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Yeah, you can find plenty of kids just running wild in parks.
__________________
The 20th century has been characterised by three developments of great political importance. The growth of democracy; the growth of corporate power; and the growth of corporate propaganda as a means of protecting corporate power against democracy.
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25 Jan 2008, 12:40
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#21
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Registered User
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: London
Posts: 3,347
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Re: MM's Mid-Life Crisis
Quote:
Originally Posted by horn
you can feel depressed without having "clinical" depression.
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I feel short-changed.
__________________
The 20th century has been characterised by three developments of great political importance. The growth of democracy; the growth of corporate power; and the growth of corporate propaganda as a means of protecting corporate power against democracy.
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25 Jan 2008, 12:56
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#22
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Gone
Join Date: Jan 2001
Posts: 14,656
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Re: MM's Mid-Life Crisis
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ste
Also - MM, you didn't invite me out for a drink or reply to my text
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I didn't get no text. My fhones fhucked recently, so that might be it. I'm PMing you my new number so you can keep it safe close to your heart.
Quote:
Originally Posted by horn
also, do you actually want kids?
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Lord no. But for people who do, having them is clearly seen as 'progression' and 'an achievement.'
Quote:
Originally Posted by dda
I had never heard that Mukhtar was that well endowed.
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Do a google image search for his name and you will realise the strength of your former ignorance.
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26 Jan 2008, 15:14
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#23
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☆ ♥
Join Date: Jan 2003
Posts: 3,489
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Re: MM's Mid-Life Crisis
Quote:
Originally Posted by Marilyn Manson
I didn't get no
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scrubs.
__________________
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28 Jan 2008, 11:18
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#24
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Motherfracker
Join Date: May 2001
Posts: 2,985
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Re: MM's Mid-Life Crisis
T&F advocates relationship/partner capitalism
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28 Jan 2008, 12:29
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#25
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mmm.. pills
Join Date: Apr 2000
Location: Australia
Posts: 2,152
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Re: MM's Mid-Life Crisis
The discovery that one of my long time school friends had gotten married, had a baby was a shock at first. Moreso because he didn't seem likely to be getting involved in many relationships let alone full blown marriage.
Later other people I know followed suite, but as much as I'd like to believe they found their one true love so early in life I am more inclined to think the circumstances of their marriages were a little less fairy-tale (ie knocked her up so I better marry her).
Once again I'm only too happy for them if they really are at that apex in their lives, but for the most part they are poor (maxed out C/C debts and loans), constantly stressed, have no social life and spend whatever spare time they do indulge in boozing their life away.
__________________
CSS : the result of letting artists design something only an engineer should touch.
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28 Jan 2008, 18:59
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#26
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Registered User
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: London
Posts: 3,347
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Re: MM's Mid-Life Crisis
Quote:
Originally Posted by djbass
The discovery that one of my long time school friends had gotten married, had a baby was a shock at first. Moreso because he didn't seem likely to be getting involved in many relationships let alone full blown marriage.
Later other people I know followed suite, but as much as I'd like to believe they found their one true love so early in life I am more inclined to think the circumstances of their marriages were a little less fairy-tale (ie knocked her up so I better marry her).
Once again I'm only too happy for them if they really are at that apex in their lives, but for the most part they are poor (maxed out C/C debts and loans), constantly stressed, have no social life and spend whatever spare time they do indulge in boozing their life away.
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This happened to some of my old school friend when I was 16.
Well, except for the marriage bit.
__________________
The 20th century has been characterised by three developments of great political importance. The growth of democracy; the growth of corporate power; and the growth of corporate propaganda as a means of protecting corporate power against democracy.
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28 Jan 2008, 20:51
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#27
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I am.
Join Date: Nov 2004
Posts: 6,580
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Re: MM's Mid-Life Crisis
Quote:
Originally Posted by djbass
The discovery that one of my long time school friends had gotten married,
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got
you're not american darling
__________________
hi
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