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Unread 22 May 2004, 05:03   #1
Deepflow
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What the **** is the problem with me and girls (\o/)

Right, so im in a club with some mates, this girl gave me the eye when i came in. Well i thought she did, and my mate said "oi, that girl just looked and smiled at you, you're in there". Bear in mind btw, that this was basically a shit cheap, cheesy, 'pulling' club. AaaaAaaanyway. A bit later on, this girl comes round with her friends, one of whom is fine (as is she) and asks for a light off one of me or my friends, of course one of us obliges.

I am right next to them and as such 'in the firing line'

I say to one (she is fooooine btw) "hello", she says "hello" back. At this point, my powers of diction completely leave me and i find something highly fascinating on the table. I mean WHAT THE **** is wrong with me? why cant i talk to some random girl i dont know in the hope of pulling. Is it really that hard?

Anyway, they lose interest and lose interest, taking up a position slightly behind our table, slightly later, the exceedingly fine one starts RUBBING HER ARSE AGAINST MY BACK. Now, im no woman expert, but iwould normally assume this indicates some level of interest. What do i do? what do you think i do? NOTHING. i look at her for a second, then turn back to my "oh so interesting" pint. I mean, really.

what is wrong with me? why can i not be suave and sophisticated in the face of slags like this? Is it so hard? I could be shagging right now instead of making this pointless post. AGH! its highly highly frustrating.

Of course obviously i just need 'confidence' as a lot of people have told me. but it isnt as easy as all that. If it were, everyone would do it. bah!

anyway, dont even know why i posted this, just fed up at my own lack of pulling power at crap slaggy clubs.

P.S I am not a virgin, also, i am normally very good at talking to girls etc, its just doing the 'first bit' that i find highty difficult.

P.P.S Ill probably regret this in the morning and delete the thread or something.
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Unread 22 May 2004, 05:17   #2
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Re: What the **** is the problem with me and girls (\o/)

perhaps you're not used to the "ladies" taking the lead? Obviously her rubbing against you was as blatant as a "get it here" sign (or she had an itch and no manners), and you chickened out (this time).

As for lack of confidence...., don't you have any drugs for that?
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Unread 22 May 2004, 05:22   #3
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Re: What the **** is the problem with me and girls (\o/)

well


next time i go to a pulling club i plan to take coke beforehand, that should sort that out.

but really, i have good social skills etc, its just this kind of situation kind of freaks me out, maybe i just need more experience. I didnt think i was so shit at first, but apparently i was sitting there with arms folded looking surly (according to my friends).

*sigh*
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Unread 22 May 2004, 05:23   #4
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Re: What the **** is the problem with me and girls (\o/)

too late we've already seen it...

If you can't talk to the fine girls, try striking up a conversation with the ugliest girl in the group that you find acceptable. Not only will the fine girl want you all the more, because she's DEFINITELY not used to that particular friend getting attention over her, but the one you choose will be flattered by the attention since she's probably used to guys only talking to the cute one.

Before you're done, be sure you get a phone number, even if you have no intention whatsoever of calling it. Just say "May I have your phone number?" and wait. Practice saying it in the mirror if you have to. But put it to use and get a phone number. This has two effects, 1) You get some confidence, and 2) You get a phone number most of the time. That gives you some options in a few days once you've sobered up.

Every time you go out ask the prettiest girl you can muster the confidence to talk to for her phone number. You'll find that you're talking to the hottest girls with confidence before you know it.


I can't believe I'm giving out girl advice on here... to be honest I only tried this once, it worked, and now I have a girlfriend who tolerates Planetarion... hopefully you're so lucky
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Unread 22 May 2004, 05:37   #5
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Re: What the **** is the problem with me and girls (\o/)

aww you didnt get a pull tonight?

no shag?

its time for the right hand man
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Unread 22 May 2004, 07:28   #6
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Re: What the **** is the problem with me and girls (\o/)

Here's some simple advice. Ask her questions. Act like you are interested in the answers. People like to talk about themselves.

Hi, what's your name.
Julie.
Hi, Julie. I'm DeepFlow.
Are you from "this city"?
No, I live in blah, blah.
And then just continue on with questions about college, work, the best places to hang out, what she thinks of the music, if she wants to dance, etc....

If she asks questions about you, answer them without too much detail, then go on to your next question.
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Unread 22 May 2004, 08:02   #7
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Re: What the **** is the problem with me and girls (\o/)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Deepflow
what is wrong with me?
You are gay.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Deepflow
next time i go to a pulling club i plan to take coke beforehand, that should sort that out.
If you have to do that, then I feel very sorry for you. 'loser'.
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Unread 22 May 2004, 08:15   #8
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Re: What the **** is the problem with me and girls (\o/)

Start using awesome chatup lines like "you might as well just have sex with me because I'm going to tell everyone on the internet that you did anyway".
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Unread 22 May 2004, 08:43   #9
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Re: What the **** is the problem with me and girls (\o/)

dude that sucks i know how you feel, i have the added problem i am the lead singer in an extreme metal band but show a complete lack of interest, i know why i show no interest, its all to do with confidence, as my confidence to sing comes from hate and anger it cannot be used when attempting to talk to people because i would tell them to **** off! but basically you just need to work on you confidence then you shoul show more interest, its all to do with what your mind percieves to be attainable! When i met my band mate's i couldnt talk to them, but they heard me sing along in the crowd at a local gig, and forced their way towards me, they draged me out of the pit, and said hello and asked how i was, i gave the standard responce of dont waste your time talking to me i'm worthless to which marcus (my lead guitarist) said "**** this, listen we are in an extreme metal band, you are gonna sing for us, i dont give a **** if you thing your a crap vocalist, in our opinion you are one of the best we've heard in this scene and you belong up there (he pointed to the stage) not in there (pointing to the pit)!" and the rest is histroy! These were the first people to accept me for who i was, now i am like a crazed monster when i get on stage, nothing (and i mean nothing not even a bouncer twice my size) can stop me when i get going! i have been given two nicknames by some local rock mags one is "creator of choas" and the other is "the devil's son"! All you gotta do is be blunt with people or hope that they are blunt with you! it works every time!
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Unread 22 May 2004, 09:00   #10
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Re: What the **** is the problem with me and girls (\o/)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sevrok
"creator of choas"
You don't write the songs do you.
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Unread 22 May 2004, 09:10   #11
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Re: What the **** is the problem with me and girls (\o/)

I'm pretty much the same, which is why I drink when I go out. Unfortunately, by the time I have the confidence to properly try and chat someone up I've borderline lost the power of speech, certainly lost the power of rationality, and generally act like a fool.

My main problem is that I have plenty of things to say, but I've got an internal self-critic saying "I cannot believe you just said that."
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Unread 22 May 2004, 09:24   #12
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Re: What the **** is the problem with me and girls (\o/)

I find the best solution is to dream about being a romantic conversationist and then dream about everyone loving me and wanting to **** me.
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Unread 22 May 2004, 10:41   #13
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Re: What the **** is the problem with me and girls (\o/)

Ok, well, when they're rubbing their arse against you like that, you dont exactly need to be charming, turn around and grab the slag.
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Unread 22 May 2004, 10:59   #14
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Re: What the **** is the problem with me and girls (\o/)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Texan

Hi, what's your name.
Julie.
Hi, Julie. I'm DeepFlow.
Are you from "this city"?
No, I live in blah, blah.
And then just continue on with questions about college, work, the best places to hang out, what she thinks of the music, if she wants to dance, etc....

If she asks questions about you, answer them without too much detail, then go on to your next question.
i'd start at "are you from this city?" ://///
the first 3 lines indicate you're talking to a 12 year old.
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Unread 22 May 2004, 13:15   #15
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Re: What the **** is the problem with me and girls (\o/)

Deepflow, maybe you're losing your touch.

I once had a time when I lost my touch and couldn't be a good conversationalist. It wrecked me.



Where's Vermillion? He is probably the best at giving advice.
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Unread 22 May 2004, 13:20   #16
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Re: What the **** is the problem with me and girls (\o/)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rids
Ok, well, when they're rubbing their arse against you like that, you dont exactly need to be charming, turn around and grab the slag.
I'd like to endorse this suggestion. Why the hell do you need to use a chat-up line if the person has clearly shown they are up for it.

This is the point of night clubs to an extent, removing the evils of conversation from the pulling process.
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Unread 22 May 2004, 13:32   #17
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Re: What the **** is the problem with me and girls (\o/)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dante Hicks
I'm pretty much the same, which is why I drink when I go out. Unfortunately, by the time I have the confidence to properly try and chat someone up I've borderline lost the power of speech, certainly lost the power of rationality, and generally act like a fool.
I love you.
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Unread 22 May 2004, 14:33   #18
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Re: What the **** is the problem with me and girls (\o/)

btw, dont bother giving any more actual advice, i wont use it, and i was just venting.

and im not REALLY going to take cocaine just to pull girls. cuh.
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Unread 22 May 2004, 16:00   #19
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Re: What the **** is the problem with me and girls (\o/)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dante Hicks
I'm pretty much the same, which is why I drink when I go out. Unfortunately, by the time I have the confidence to properly try and chat someone up I've borderline lost the power of speech, certainly lost the power of rationality, and generally act like a fool.

My main problem is that I have plenty of things to say, but I've got an internal self-critic saying "I cannot believe you just said that."
you could be my speaking inner-self, or in other words expresed, i feel deeply conntected to you.
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Unread 22 May 2004, 17:07   #20
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Re: What the **** is the problem with me and girls (\o/)

I'm exactly the same. It's so effing annoying.
Once I'm in the conversation with the girl, or she's a friend-of-a-friend, I'm fine. I get on very well with girls, and have absolutely no problems just chatting to them.

It's the initial few chit-chat bollocky lines I can't get through. I can't speak to random girls. It's not a lack of confidence, as I'm confident as hell when dancing, or talking to someone I know vaguely. I just can't do the irrelevant chat-before-you-get-a-pull. To be able to do it, I have to be completely smashed. And if I'm completely smashed, I'm more concerned about standing up than talking to some girl. Plus if I'm that drunk, my witty liners are likely to be drawling incoherent crap.

I know how you feel mate. It's so frustrating. I always tell myself before I go out "Right, tonight, you will talk to a random girl. You have nothing to lose". But I always get scared and just stay content with catching their eye throughout the night and smiling.
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Unread 22 May 2004, 17:15   #21
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Re: What the **** is the problem with me and girls (\o/)

You're so kewl!
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Unread 22 May 2004, 17:19   #22
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Re: What the **** is the problem with me and girls (\o/)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tomkat

I know how you feel mate. It's so frustrating. I always tell myself before I go out "Right, tonight, you will talk to a random girl. You have nothing to lose". But I always get scared and just stay content with catching their eye throughout the night and smiling.
thats exactly what i do... bah.

but in this case, i caught her eye, she came over. And then i was just like...

...

...

hello

...

...

etc

bah

and that nothing to lose thing as well, its so true, but so difficult to actually use in practice.
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Unread 22 May 2004, 18:31   #23
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Re: What the **** is the problem with me and girls (\o/)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dante Hicks
I'm pretty much the same, which is why I drink when I go out. Unfortunately, by the time I have the confidence to properly try and chat someone up I've borderline lost the power of speech, certainly lost the power of rationality, and generally act like a fool.

My main problem is that I have plenty of things to say, but I've got an internal self-critic saying "I cannot believe you just said that."


I'm pretty much the same.

However on certain occassions i just decide to bypass my internal critic and just say whatever the **** i like (no matter how bad it sounds ... just as long as it amuses my "dark side").

This is why i told that girl who "felt like death" (hello thread from a bit back) that "dead girls dont say no".
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Unread 22 May 2004, 18:35   #24
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Re: What the **** is the problem with me and girls (\o/)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Toccata & Fugue
The two key phrases are "It's all good" and "It's not good" Those two responses will serve you well when you haven't be listening to a damn thing the girl has been saying cos you were staring at her tits.


This advice is now being stored for future reference :up:
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Unread 22 May 2004, 18:40   #25
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Re: What the **** is the problem with me and girls (\o/)

itt i realise most men are just as bad at this as i am.
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Unread 22 May 2004, 18:45   #26
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Re: What the **** is the problem with me and girls (\o/)

I do that occasionally when I'm fantastically pissed off at something and some part of my mind actually prefers staying angry to the chance of having sex. It's the same part that tells me I've had too much drink and it's time for work. A good idea is always the concept of wingmen though as then if you don't start chatting you're letting down your mate. Wingmen can also be a horrible idea when you get stuck with the fat, ugly, ginger one with the BO problem it should be noted though.


Alternatively you can be a tit and get a gimmick. A friend of mine started bringing a pack of cards with him when he goes out. Invariably it leads to a whole load of hilarious scenarios and breaks the "ice". Can't you just drink more though? When I'm drunk I'd talk to a lamppost if it looked friendly.


PS Of course when she's rubbing her ass up against your back you could probably just hop her and she wouldn't mind the desperate whore.
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Unread 22 May 2004, 18:49   #27
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Re: What the **** is the problem with me and girls (\o/)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Deepflow
itt i realise most men are just as bad at this as i am.


That's so harsh.
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Unread 22 May 2004, 18:50   #28
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Re: What the **** is the problem with me and girls (\o/)

Quote:
Originally Posted by JonnyBGood
Can't you just drink more though? When I'm drunk I'd talk to a lamppost if it looked friendly.
When I got stoned for the first time, a tree spoke to me. It was slightly friendly but scared me.
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Unread 22 May 2004, 18:51   #29
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Re: What the **** is the problem with me and girls (\o/)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Deepflow
itt i realise most men are just as bad at this as i am.
Sort of....... ish.
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Unread 22 May 2004, 18:54   #30
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Re: What the **** is the problem with me and girls (\o/)

Quote:
Originally Posted by JonnyBGood
PS Of course when she's rubbing her ass up against your back you could probably just hop her and she wouldn't mind the desperate whore.
and she was SO FIT.

bah.

blastoderm, this conclusion was reached through both rl observations and online ones.
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Unread 22 May 2004, 18:58   #31
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Re: What the **** is the problem with me and girls (\o/)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Deepflow
and she was SO FIT.

bah.

blastoderm, this conclusion was reached through both rl observations and online ones.
But my gosh does she not know it?
blah.
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Unread 22 May 2004, 19:06   #32
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Re: What the **** is the problem with me and girls (\o/)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Blastoderm
But my gosh does she not know it?
blah.

:)
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Unread 22 May 2004, 20:19   #33
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Re: What the **** is the problem with me and girls (\o/)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Deepflow
and im not REALLY going to take cocaine just to pull girls. cuh.
Why not?
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Unread 22 May 2004, 20:22   #34
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Re: What the **** is the problem with me and girls (\o/)

Quote:
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Why not?
It's cheaper to get a midprice whore.
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Unread 22 May 2004, 20:25   #35
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Re: What the **** is the problem with me and girls (\o/)

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Originally Posted by MrL_JaKiri
It's cheaper to get a midprice whore.
I'm pretty sure the same can be said for some people's expenditure on booze.
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Unread 22 May 2004, 20:36   #36
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Re: What the **** is the problem with me and girls (\o/)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dante Hicks
I'm pretty sure the same can be said for some people's expenditure on booze.
Yeah, but that has the opportunity to make a tit out of yourself, which people seem to enjoy paying for.
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Unread 22 May 2004, 20:52   #37
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Re: What the **** is the problem with me and girls (\o/)

I dont think I ever expected any guy I pulled in a club to talk to me, at least until we left, and by then there were other things on my mind. If a girl makes it that obvious she wont need much conversation, just dance close to her and, assuming she doesnt change her mind and push you away, stick your tongue down her throat.

Simple.

Of course, thats just me, and I am the first to admit I was pretty easy. Please note the past tense was used there.
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Unread 22 May 2004, 20:57   #38
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Re: What the **** is the problem with me and girls (\o/)

You could have highlighted it for those who aren't able to pinpoint the past tense.
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Unread 22 May 2004, 20:58   #39
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Re: What the **** is the problem with me and girls (\o/)

i may well take cocaine and go to a club at some point in the future, but its not the only reason i do it.
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Unread 22 May 2004, 22:08   #40
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Re: What the **** is the problem with me and girls (\o/)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Deepflow
i may well take cocaine and go to a club at some point in the future, but its not the only reason i do it.
Yeah I'm sure youll manage to find another reason to rationalise it.
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Unread 22 May 2004, 22:25   #41
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Re: What the **** is the problem with me and girls (\o/)

i dont need to rationalise it really, its fun. end of story.
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Unread 23 May 2004, 03:06   #42
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Re: What the **** is the problem with me and girls (\o/)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Deepflow
i dont need to rationalise it really, its fun. end of story.
\o/
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Unread 23 May 2004, 13:41   #43
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Re: What the **** is the problem with me and girls (\o/)

Funny enough, I went out last night and saw two fit birds and they were next to me. I didn't say anything because all of my confidence drained out.

Oh and they disappeared when I nipped to the loo as well.

It is annoying Deepflow. I know the feeling.
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Unread 24 May 2004, 10:19   #44
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Re: What the **** is the problem with me and girls (\o/)

Yeah I had this problem the other night too, actually I got quite pissed off. Basically a group of girls was staring at me most of the night and when me and a m8 got up on the floor they followed us and danced next to us.
Clearly wanting to play it a little cool me and my m8 smiled and caught their eyes once in a while,then the hottest chick in the entire group backed out of the group and between me and my m8.
She was dancing next to me,slightly bumping into me accidently on purpose etc and she obviously liked me.
So dancing away the CD starts to skip for the DJ and its kinda funny so seeing my chance I lean over to her and kinda laughing as I say it "I'll bet he pretends it's a remix" she kinda looks at me as if me opening my mouth had ruined all these fantasies about what I was like. Clearly sensing that I was loosing her I followed up with the unoffensive "Hi,I'm Brian" and she looked at me then rejoined her little group.

Feeling like a total nob now as everyone on the floor saw me get shot down in flames and the group of girls leaving the floor rapidly I decide to go back to our table and get seek comfort in that arms of Jack Daniels.

I'm still trying to work out what the hell happend. Usually I'd have that total block of what to say to a girl,even the inital break-the-ice moment. Recently I just said to myself "just do it fs" and I chatted up a hot chick in a book shop. (never ever ever done anything like it before,was weird and nothing like me...) I didn't succeed in that case but it was a confidence booster. Hence my attempt this night.

While at my table hiding for the mass of people who were looking at me as I left the small dancefloor there this attractive girl standing on her own next to my table. She looks at me and is clearly hoping I say something to her. I go to speak and....." " is all that comes out,panicing now I desperatly try to think of something.
In the end I get "your on your own?" out in a manner that was less than impressive I can imagine. she then decides to be nice and tells me her friend just scored and she's on her own,then she introduces herself...I introdice myself then get completely stuck on what to say next.
Senceing I dont seem to be able to say anything she goes and talks to some guy next to her instead of having an awkward moment with me.

So thats it,my little rant in solidarity. Im back to square one. I briefly had some confidence and crashed and burned hideously and reverted to the useless at talking to attractive girls generic male.

BAH, I WAS SO CLOSE!
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Unread 24 May 2004, 13:03   #45
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Re: What the **** is the problem with me and girls (\o/)

I shagged my mate's girlfriend this weekend.

Well, I say shagged but I mean talked to.
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Unread 24 May 2004, 13:21   #46
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Re: What the **** is the problem with me and girls (\o/)

By "talked to" you mean "looked at from a distance" yeah?!
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Unread 24 May 2004, 14:16   #47
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Re: What the **** is the problem with me and girls (\o/)

No!!

(damn, this guy can read my mind :eek: )
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Unread 24 May 2004, 14:23   #48
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Re: What the **** is the problem with me and girls (\o/)

i used to be afraid of chatting girls up but then i worked out an easy method of getting a conversation started

1. say hello
2. complement her on her clothes (for example 'i like your top' even if your talking bs)
3. ask questions that require them to give more than a one word answer
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Unread 24 May 2004, 14:52   #49
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Re: What the **** is the problem with me and girls (\o/)

Is it just me or are women farrrr to annoyingly judgemental about the standard of conversation you must start up in order to be 'worthy' of their company?

I mean we're out on a limb,usually in a public enough place talking to a stranger out of the blue. Most girls would never attempt it (from my circle of friends they are terrified of doing it) however they rip guys brave enough to attempt it to shreds.

It's not fair dammit!
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Unread 24 May 2004, 15:24   #50
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Re: What the **** is the problem with me and girls (\o/)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Madina
2. complement her on her clothes (for example 'i like your top' even if your talking bs)
"That skirt is very becoming on you. Mind you, if i were on you, i'd be cumming too"
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