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Unread 6 Feb 2006, 20:52   #1
Kurashima
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Bit of a Quandary

See, its like this

Where I work, theres a senior manager who runs the team. Now having just joined said team, ive never met the woman. I dont know her, i merely know of her (and reports are conflicting).

She went on Maternity leave 2 weeks before I arrived. And today I came into work to find a very quiet team and a lot of long faces.

She lost her baby. She found out about an hour before she was due to be induced. A very rare occurrence, but not unheard of. Apparently though, she still had to go through with the birth.

Now I am a male. I cant begin to imagine the physical or emotional trauma this woman feels, hence I cant empathise with my female colleagues, some of whom were very close to this woman, or my male colleagues who were good friends with her. So im kinda wondering.
  • Do I attempt to make light of the situation, cheer people up, let them know the world goes on, etc etc, and she will be fine with her family taking care of her.
  • Do I put on a "False Shroud" of emotion, and mope around like everyone else pretending its a real shame and I really feel for her, and her family, when in reality I just want to get on with my job.
I appreciate im an insensitive prick at the best of times, but somehow I feel I really have to make an effort here to prevent a group I really get along with , socially and professionally, from forming a negative opinion of me at an early stage.
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Unread 6 Feb 2006, 20:55   #2
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Re: Bit of a Quandary

Option #2.

Unfortunately people are superficial in this world and expect others to be as superficial. You're gonna have to pretend you care or risk being seen as the uncaring one, even though most people are probably thinking the same thing as you.
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Unread 6 Feb 2006, 20:57   #3
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Re: Bit of a Quandary

Neither. Just don't talk about it at all.

Most people can't see the funny / light side of a baby dying.
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Unread 6 Feb 2006, 20:58   #4
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Re: Bit of a Quandary

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kurashima
[*]Do I attempt to make light of the situation, cheer people up, let them know the world goes on, etc etc, and she will be fine with her family taking care of her.
Probably not the best idea seeing as you're bound to offend some of them (probably the women). I'ld just carry on as normal and just go along with the 'oh its a real shame etc' comments when it comes up in conversation.
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Unread 6 Feb 2006, 21:00   #5
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Re: Bit of a Quandary

You should have more sex with her.
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Unread 6 Feb 2006, 21:04   #6
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Re: Bit of a Quandary

Quote:
Most people can't see the funny / light side of a baby dying.
This was the funniest line I've seen on GD for a long time.
What exactly were you thinling you would say to 'make light of it'?
"They only cry anyway"
"Will save on the nappy bills"
"bet they're gutted they decorated the nursery"
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Unread 6 Feb 2006, 21:05   #7
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Re: Bit of a Quandary

Quote:
Originally Posted by Flavius
You should have more sex with her.
Ive never met the woman. Shall I just get a copy of her picture from the work intranet and wank furiously over it under the desk*?

































































*this of course wont happen as there hasnt been a more retarded idea portrayed on these forums since the days of "build tarantulas".
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Unread 6 Feb 2006, 21:08   #8
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Re: Bit of a Quandary

to be honest, keeping your head down and just getting on with your work is the ONLY option. you simply cannot make light of it but also its hard to empathise when you didn't know her
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Unread 6 Feb 2006, 21:20   #9
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Re: Bit of a Quandary

Quote:
Originally Posted by roadrunner_0
to be honest, keeping your head down and just getting on with your work is the ONLY option. you simply cannot make light of it but also its hard to empathise when you didn't know her
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Unread 6 Feb 2006, 21:52   #10
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Re: Bit of a Quandary

It is the same as any other parent's death of a child. It is the worst kind of death and loss. The child might not have been born yet, but the mother will have gotten to know her child intimately and I'm sure it's a terrible loss. She's probably in shock. She was robbed of ever meeting the child she carried inside her. She was robbed of the promise seeing her baby's eyes and smile. It's a tragedy that will affect her throught the rest of her life. On the contrary, anything you say to her will only be as transient and meaningless as vapor.
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Unread 6 Feb 2006, 21:58   #11
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Re: Bit of a Quandary

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kurashima
Ive never met the woman. Shall I just get a copy of her picture from the work intranet and wank furiously over it under the desk*?

*this of course wont happen as there hasnt been a more retarded idea portrayed on these forums since the days of "build tarantulas".
I specifically said:

Quote:
Originally Posted by Flavius
You should have more sex with her.
I made no reference to masturbation whatsoever
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Unread 6 Feb 2006, 22:05   #12
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Re: Bit of a Quandary

Im with Dante and rr on this.
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Unread 6 Feb 2006, 22:18   #13
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Re: Bit of a Quandary

Get on with your job as if nothing had happened.

Think before you speak and don't be ****ing insensitive
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Unread 6 Feb 2006, 22:38   #14
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Re: Bit of a Quandary

Option #2, unless you are a very quick runner, or you believe you can deliver the line "Where did she last see it?" with such panache and innocence that you won't be lynched on the spot.
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Unread 6 Feb 2006, 22:42   #15
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Re: Bit of a Quandary

Quote:
Originally Posted by idimmu
i think the only real quandary here is why kura hasnt a ****ing clue!

ps be grateful, the bird at my place who gave birth last month keeps ****ing bringing the screaming bastard in for us all to see
Kura just wants opinions. Hes got an idea of how hes going to play it, and thats probably whats going to happen.

Others with a better idea, Im happy to take their opinions on board.

And next time she brings the screaming bastard in, just threaten to eat it. She will take one look at your and run screaming out of the building , annoying sprog in tow.
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Unread 6 Feb 2006, 23:05   #16
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Re: Bit of a Quandary

Quote:
Originally Posted by idimmu
baby back ribs

mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
You're out of line mr! I think I've read myths about an Asian culture that eats dead fetuses, but I don't know if there's any truth to it.
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Unread 6 Feb 2006, 23:19   #17
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Re: Bit of a Quandary

#2 all the way, maybe all of then are thinking the same as you, but if you show then they are going to judge you and all that crap. The only people that you can be honest are your friends, anyway i try to be honest all the time, but that dont apply to your situation cause people sucks
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Unread 6 Feb 2006, 23:39   #18
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Re: Bit of a Quandary

Quote:
Originally Posted by idimmu
baby back ribs

mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
"look at my sexeh bodeh"
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Unread 6 Feb 2006, 23:54   #19
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Re: Bit of a Quandary

Turn her frown upside down!!!
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Unread 6 Feb 2006, 23:56   #20
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Re: Bit of a Quandary

Take it to the bridge ... yeah!
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Unread 7 Feb 2006, 01:20   #21
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Re: Bit of a Quandary

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dace
I'm quite liberal when it comes to jokes, but that was just harsh.
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If one person is in delusion, they're called insane.
If many people are in delusion, it's called a religion.
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Unread 7 Feb 2006, 01:51   #22
1-X
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Re: Bit of a Quandary

Quote:
Originally Posted by s|k
I think I've read myths about an Asian culture that eats dead fetuses, but I don't know if there's any truth to it.
maybe it's the one eyed one horned flying purple foetus eater

sorry, maladoni is rubbing off on me*

*not frottage
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Unread 7 Feb 2006, 10:59   #23
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Re: Bit of a Quandary

i thought he was just rubbing up against your leg...
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