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21 Apr 2005, 15:57
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#1
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Born Sinful
Join Date: Nov 2000
Location: Loughborough, UK
Posts: 4,059
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Some terrible jokes I was forwarded.
You may notice they follow a certain theme:
>1. What do you call a chav in a box?
>Innit.
>
>2. What do you call a chav in a filing cabinet?
>Sorted
>
>3. What do you call a chav in a box with a lock on it?
>Safe.
>
>4. What do you call an Eskimo chav?
>Innuinnit.
>
>5. Two chavs jump off Beachy Head, who wins?
>Society.
>
>6. What do you call a Chavette in a white tracksuit?
>The bride.
>
>7. You're in your car and you see a Chav on a bike, why should you try
>not to hit him? It might be your bike.
>
>8. What's the difference between a Chav and a coconut?
>One's thick and hairy, the other's a coconut.
>
>9. What's the first question at a Chav quiz night?
>What you lookin' at?"
>
>10. How do you get 100 Chavs into a phone box?
>Paint three stripes on it.
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>11. Two Chavs in a car without any music. Who's driving?
>The police
>
>12. What do you call a chav with 9 GCSE's?
>A liar.
>
>13. What do you say to a chav with a job?
>Can I have a big mac please
>
>14. What do you say to a chav in a suit?
>Will the defendant please stand
>
>15. What do u call a knife in chaville?
>Exhibit A
>
>16. Why is 3 chavs going over a cliff in a Nova a shame?
>A Nova seats 4
>
>17. What do you call a 30 year old chavette?
>Granny.
>
>18. How many chavs does it take to change a lightbulb?
>One, they'll screw anything.
>
>19. A bus full of Chavs were driving through Wales. As they were
>approaching lanfgogogferrinfourasoch they started arguing about the
>pronunciation of the town's name. They argued back and forth until they
>stopped for lunch. As they stood at the counter, one Chav asked the
>blonde employee, "Before we order, could you settle an argument for us?
>Would you please pronounce where we are... very slowly?" - The blonde
>girl leaned over the counter and said, "Burrrrrrrr-gerrrrrrr-Kiiiiing."
>
>20. How many chavs does it take to clean a floor?
>None, "That's some uvver bleeders job innit."
>
>21. Why did the chav take a shower?
>He didn't mean to, he just forgot to close the Nova's window in the car
>wash
>
>22. Why did the Chav cross the road?
>To start a fight with a random stranger for no reason whatsoever.
>
>23. What do you call a Chav at college?
>The cleaner
>
Thank you and goodnight.
__________________
Worth dying for. Worth killing for. Worth going to hell for. Amen.
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21 Apr 2005, 15:58
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#2
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overtired
Join Date: Aug 2003
Posts: 5,900
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Re: Some terrible jokes I was forwarded.
You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to meglamaniac again.
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21 Apr 2005, 16:06
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#3
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Mr. Blobby
Join Date: Nov 2000
Location: Belgium
Posts: 8,271
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Re: Some terrible jokes I was forwarded.
Quote:
Originally Posted by 1-X
You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to meglamaniac again.
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Taken care of
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21 Apr 2005, 16:09
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#4
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Gone
Join Date: Jan 2001
Posts: 14,656
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Re: Some terrible jokes I was forwarded.
Old.
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21 Apr 2005, 16:11
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#5
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Mr. Blobby
Join Date: Nov 2000
Location: Belgium
Posts: 8,271
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Re: Some terrible jokes I was forwarded.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Marilyn Manson
Old.
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Old like the Pope!
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21 Apr 2005, 16:12
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#6
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Gone
Join Date: Jan 2001
Posts: 14,656
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Re: Some terrible jokes I was forwarded.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Leshy
Old like the Pope!
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Heaven is a half pope!
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21 Apr 2005, 16:13
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#7
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nomen est omen
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: Bristol, UK
Posts: 1,095
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Re: Some terrible jokes I was forwarded.
I liked it :-)
__________________
Me=Hans_Blix
Views expressed are those of the author and not of any company or organisation I am associated with. Electronic communication can be forged and the integrity of this message is not guaranteed.
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21 Apr 2005, 16:14
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#8
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mmm.. pills
Join Date: Apr 2000
Location: Australia
Posts: 2,152
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Re: Some terrible jokes I was forwarded.
first to say old before anyone else does \o/
http://pirate.planetarion.com/showthread.php?t=183814
EDIT: or not
__________________
CSS : the result of letting artists design something only an engineer should touch.
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21 Apr 2005, 16:16
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#9
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Gone
Join Date: Jan 2001
Posts: 14,656
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Re: Some terrible jokes I was forwarded.
Quote:
Originally Posted by djbass
first to say old before anyone else does \o/
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You stupid woman
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21 Apr 2005, 18:30
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#10
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Born Sinful
Join Date: Nov 2000
Location: Loughborough, UK
Posts: 4,059
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Re: Some terrible jokes I was forwarded.
I had a nasty feeling it had already done the rounds.
Arse
__________________
Worth dying for. Worth killing for. Worth going to hell for. Amen.
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21 Apr 2005, 18:37
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#11
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BlueTuba
Join Date: Aug 2000
Posts: 6,339
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Re: Some terrible jokes I was forwarded.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Marilyn Manson
You stupid woman
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Oh Rene.
__________________
"Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life."
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21 Apr 2005, 18:45
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#12
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:alpha:
Join Date: May 2002
Location: London, UK
Posts: 7,871
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Re: Some terrible jokes I was forwarded.
I'm pretty sure I've already posted all of those already
__________________
"There is no I in team, but there are two in anal fisting"
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21 Apr 2005, 19:03
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#13
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Old Man O Deh *****s
Join Date: Apr 2000
Location: In spelelpee land
Posts: 3,516
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Re: Some terrible jokes I was forwarded.
At least he linked to it though.
__________________
Dead_Meat
You dont need to keep beating a dog to get it to stop shitting on the carpet
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21 Apr 2005, 20:28
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#14
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lolly roffle
Join Date: Nov 2001
Posts: 5,514
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Re: Some terrible jokes I was forwarded.
Three stripes is the adidas sign, which is a brand that chavs love to wear.
Chavs are generally a bit dim so couldnt get 9 GCSEs, so are lying if they say thats what they got.
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eXcessum
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21 Apr 2005, 20:54
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#15
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lolly roffle
Join Date: Nov 2001
Posts: 5,514
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Re: Some terrible jokes I was forwarded.
Its exams that kids take in England at 15/16.
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eXcessum
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21 Apr 2005, 21:23
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#16
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Careless talk costs lives
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Cardiff, UK
Posts: 170
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Re: Some terrible jokes I was forwarded.
__________________
[19:13] <Keglomaniac> whats wrong with our intel?
[19:13] <bos|takeaway> its a contradiction in terms
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21 Apr 2005, 23:16
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#17
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Inquisitor
Join Date: Sep 2000
Location: England
Posts: 2,207
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Re: Some terrible jokes I was forwarded.
Quote:
Originally Posted by JC
Its exams that kids take in England at 15/16.
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GCSE = General Certificate of Secondary Education.
Year 7-11 is Secondary School, where Years 10-11 are normally work towards the GCSE's (at least from when I went to school).
The core GCSE's that everyone takes are:
Science (Biology, Physics, Chemistry), Maths, English Literature, English Language, one foreign language, one Design based. (At least when I went, it's probably changed.)
Then depending on your ability you get options then for what other GCSE's you wish to take. I decided to go for Business Studies and Information Technology. (Which was actually not allowed at first but I pleaded my case)
So, I only have 9 GCSE's. I could have done 10, but I decided not to take Religious Studies.
__________________
----------
That uniform you're wearing
So hot I cant stop staring.
Zhil
[Spore] Executive
[1up]
[Fury]
Inquisitorial Lord Protector of His Emperor's Glorius Empire
[20:19:04] <mazzelaar> I have to say a big up to Zhil - without those 8 def calls you covered we would've been screwed. | r12 End Ceremony
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21 Apr 2005, 23:18
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#18
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1up on you
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Birmingham, UK
Posts: 4,007
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Re: Some terrible jokes I was forwarded.
I did 10 im special
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pig
[ 1u p]
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21 Apr 2005, 23:22
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#19
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1up on you
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Birmingham, UK
Posts: 4,007
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Re: Some terrible jokes I was forwarded.
Quote:
Originally Posted by big_horn
made me laugh like a school girl
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__________________
pig
[ 1u p]
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21 Apr 2005, 23:23
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#20
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Aardvark is a funny word
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: I'm No Nino Rota
Posts: 5,923
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Re: Some terrible jokes I was forwarded.
i did 12 GCSEs and i would have gotten away with all A*-B too if it wasnt for them pesky biologists
__________________
Efficiency, efficiency they say
Get to know the date and tell the time of day
As the crowds begin complaining
How the Beaujolais is raining
Down on darkened meetings on the Champs Élysées
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21 Apr 2005, 23:55
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#21
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J to the C to the A G E
Join Date: Sep 2000
Location: Scúnthorpe
Posts: 5,583
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Re: Some terrible jokes I was forwarded.
I don't think I have 9 GCSEs.
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21 Apr 2005, 23:58
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#22
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Banned
Join Date: May 2001
Location: Further to the right
Posts: 19,441
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Re: Some terrible jokes I was forwarded.
I have a large penis.
__________________
Some might ask what good is life without purpose but I'm anticipating a good lunch.
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22 Apr 2005, 00:13
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#23
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I am.
Join Date: Nov 2004
Posts: 6,580
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Re: Some terrible jokes I was forwarded.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Phang
i did 12 GCSEs and i would have gotten away with all A*-B too if it wasnt for them pesky biologists
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i wonder what i got
what i do remember is being incredibly insulted that the government dared to interfere in my school life
__________________
hi
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22 Apr 2005, 00:20
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#24
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Insanely Insignificant
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Bournemouth
Posts: 1,056
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Re: Some terrible jokes I was forwarded.
Quote:
Originally Posted by big_horn
GCSE's are shit
you could be as thick as a tree but still get a grades if you had a good memory and the motivation to revise
WHICH IS WHY I PROPOSE.........
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Purely from my own experience, people with 'good memories' and the 'motivation to revise' aren't 'thick as shit'.
The ones who are thick as shit are too busy stealing hub caps or working at drive-thrus to notice that they have exams to take.
__________________
Very nearly there.
All is nothing, without you.
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22 Apr 2005, 00:29
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#25
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Banned
Join Date: May 2001
Location: Further to the right
Posts: 19,441
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Re: Some terrible jokes I was forwarded.
I left one of my leaving cert exams (this is a-level in england) early to play poker. And I still came out miles ahead of the field. Oh it sure feels good to be back in the game.
__________________
Some might ask what good is life without purpose but I'm anticipating a good lunch.
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22 Apr 2005, 00:40
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#26
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Insanely Insignificant
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Bournemouth
Posts: 1,056
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Re: Some terrible jokes I was forwarded.
If someone were to boast about four A's at GCSE level i'd liberally beat them to death with an anal-wart-laced sledgehammer.
But yeah, GCSE's are rediculously easy provided you're not considered to be a lower form of life than the humble amoeba.
__________________
Very nearly there.
All is nothing, without you.
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22 Apr 2005, 00:50
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#27
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Has Soup On His Head
Join Date: Aug 2000
Posts: 10,095
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Re: Some terrible jokes I was forwarded.
Quote:
Originally Posted by JonnyBGood
I have a large penis.
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I demand proof of this in Avatar format.
__________________
And the Banker, inspired with a courage so new
It was matter for general remark,
Rushed madly ahead and was lost to their view
In his zeal to discover the Snark
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22 Apr 2005, 00:56
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#28
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I am.
Join Date: Nov 2004
Posts: 6,580
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Re: Some terrible jokes I was forwarded.
Quote:
Originally Posted by big_horn
i'm really not ugly you know, i just hate my face
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i don't mind re-arranging it for you
__________________
hi
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22 Apr 2005, 00:57
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#29
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Gone
Join Date: Jan 2001
Posts: 14,656
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Re: Some terrible jokes I was forwarded.
lol at the idea of Yahwe in a fight.
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22 Apr 2005, 00:57
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#30
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I dunno...
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: manchester
Posts: 1,502
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Re: Some terrible jokes I was forwarded.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Marilyn Manson
Heaven is a half pope!
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That deserves rep, but I can't give any to you. Someone stand in for me.
__________________
He shall drink naught but brine, for I'll not show him / Where the quick freshes are.
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22 Apr 2005, 01:05
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#31
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1up on you
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Birmingham, UK
Posts: 4,007
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Re: Some terrible jokes I was forwarded.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Phalon
Purely from my own experience, people with 'good memories' and the 'motivation to revise' aren't 'thick as shit'.
The ones who are thick as shit are too busy stealing hub caps or working at drive-thrus to notice that they have exams to take.
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I think the problem is that the smart people have a lack of motivation because they are smart, they will always walk out with decent grades but never the best. I know for a fact that if I didnt do my essays the night before, or revise a few days before for an exam, I could get a first, however I know I should get a 2:1 so why push myself when I could go out have a good time not work as hard as others and still get a same if not better degree.
I lost my lack of motivation after SATS if I had kept up my level then until now i would probably be a virgin, with no life and not many friends.
__________________
pig
[ 1u p]
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22 Apr 2005, 03:16
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#32
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Careless talk costs lives
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Cardiff, UK
Posts: 170
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Re: Some terrible jokes I was forwarded.
I had a big pack of cookies but i dropped it and now all the cookies are on the floor.
__________________
[19:13] <Keglomaniac> whats wrong with our intel?
[19:13] <bos|takeaway> its a contradiction in terms
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22 Apr 2005, 11:04
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#33
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nomen est omen
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: Bristol, UK
Posts: 1,095
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Re: Some terrible jokes I was forwarded.
I don`t have any GCSE`s. I have GSE "O" levels instead.
__________________
Me=Hans_Blix
Views expressed are those of the author and not of any company or organisation I am associated with. Electronic communication can be forged and the integrity of this message is not guaranteed.
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22 Apr 2005, 11:07
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#34
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Insanely Insignificant
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Bournemouth
Posts: 1,056
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Re: Some terrible jokes I was forwarded.
Don't worry, they just made them easier.
__________________
Very nearly there.
All is nothing, without you.
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22 Apr 2005, 12:42
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#35
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Blatantly overcooked
Join Date: Nov 2003
Posts: 1,575
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Re: Some terrible jokes I was forwarded.
wtf is a chav?
__________________
Bizarrely overrated
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22 Apr 2005, 13:19
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#36
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Mistress's fluffer
Join Date: Mar 2001
Posts: 172
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Re: Some terrible jokes I was forwarded.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Baron Morte
wtf is a chav?
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How many threads have we had about chav's?
__________________
-= Mankind =-
::Mistress1's fluffer::
#planetarion op
#1 Galaxy Winner
#1 ********** Galaxy winner
Top 15 ********** planet
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22 Apr 2005, 14:56
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#38
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:alpha:
Join Date: May 2002
Location: London, UK
Posts: 7,871
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Re: Some terrible jokes I was forwarded.
1-X is like a walking, talking encyclopedia, full to the brim with tasty links and knowledge.
It's brilliant
__________________
"There is no I in team, but there are two in anal fisting"
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22 Apr 2005, 14:57
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#39
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:alpha:
Join Date: May 2002
Location: London, UK
Posts: 7,871
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Re: Some terrible jokes I was forwarded.
Quote:
Originally Posted by big_horn
GCSE's are shit
you could be as thick as a tree but still get a grades if you had a good memory and the motivation to revise
WHICH IS WHY I PROPOSE.........
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Welcome to Academia, we hope you enjoy your stay!
__________________
"There is no I in team, but there are two in anal fisting"
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