Planetarion Forums

TheBerk · 23 Jun 2005, 09:26

This has it all, badass grandfathers, leopards, the voice of God.

It doesn't get much better.

Marilyn Manson · 23 Jun 2005, 09:33

I can't respect anyone who has a surname that sounds like a fart in a bath, no matter how heroic their actions may be.

roadrunner_0 · 23 Jun 2005, 09:48

to be fair, could you stick your hand into an enraged leopards mouth and somehow find the strength to tear out its toungue?

i'm impressed

Marilyn Manson · 23 Jun 2005, 09:51

With a fat woman, a lesbian, or anyone with a pushchair, possibly. With a leopard, possibly not. I mean, it's just a leopard. Hit it over the head with a shovel until it goes away.

SilverSmoke · 23 Jun 2005, 09:54

Quote:

Originally Posted by Marilyn Manson

it's just a leopard. Hit it over the head with a shovel until it goes away.

I am not sure if you are serious, I think not but do you realise what kind of reflexes and speed a leopard has? If you try to strike it with a shovel I bet he'll just dodge and rip you apart.

Marilyn Manson · 23 Jun 2005, 09:56

If you make the pan of the shovel big enough, then the leopard won't be able to dodge it. Make it about an acre wide. Then it has no chance of escape.

ChubbyChecker · 23 Jun 2005, 09:57

I like the fact that he discarded his machete so that he could stick his hand down the animal's throat.

Marilyn Manson · 23 Jun 2005, 10:01

Why blunt your machete or shovel, when you can just as easily have your grandpappy rip out internal organs?

s|k · 23 Jun 2005, 12:52

Bizarre

Leshy · 23 Jun 2005, 14:19

I'll memorise this for the next time either a leopard or Marilyn Manson attacks me.

NEWSBOT3 · 23 Jun 2005, 14:32

i'd fear MM more.

acropolis · 23 Jun 2005, 15:28

Quote:

Originally Posted by SilverSmoke

I am not sure if you are serious, I think not but do you realise what kind of reflexes and speed a leopard has? If you try to strike it with a shovel I bet he'll just dodge and rip you apart.

yeah they're actually like super ninja animals you know

Dace · 23 Jun 2005, 17:14

I already knew the thing about sticking your hand down an animals throat to stop it from killing you*

*watched a program on lion tamers or something ... the animals gag reflex means it cant chew off your hand. Admittidly you're in a stalemate (until you do something like pull out its toungue) but i suspect that's better than the flawless victory to the lion *shrug*

vampire_lestat · 23 Jun 2005, 17:42

if you blow down a dogs nose when its biting something it lets go and chokes, because it seals off its throat when its getting a hold on something, assumably so that shit doesn't fall into its lungs. Mabie that works with leopards too, never tried it on anything larger than a spaniel.

Deffeh · 23 Jun 2005, 17:44

If you didnt pos rep MM in this thread for that first post, you should never pos rep anyone

Im still giggling

dda · 23 Jun 2005, 17:59

The moral of the story is that sometimes it pays to keep your mouth shut.

Appocomaster · 23 Jun 2005, 18:12

If people started believing that, GD would die even more

The moral of the story is obviously "if you're some sort of large wild cat, kill the thing you're trying to attack before it reaches into your mouth, abuses your gag reflex, and pulls out your tongue to leave you in death-throes"

Boogster · 23 Jun 2005, 19:41

Quote:

Originally Posted by dda

The moral of the story is that sometimes it pays to keep your mouth shut.

Especially if you are being attacked by a Christian.

Deepflow · 23 Jun 2005, 19:58

is pulling out their tongues the accepted way to kill big cats then? i never knew.

although i suppose it doesnt really matter, unless i go to the zoo and they escape and start running everywhere, then i could save a small child by pulling out a jaguars tongue and everyone would want to have sex with me.

Appocomaster · 23 Jun 2005, 20:00

Quote:

Originally Posted by Deepflow

is pulling out their tongues the accepted way to kill big cats then? i never knew.

although i suppose it doesnt really matter, unless i go to the zoo and they escape and start running everywhere, then i could save a small child by pulling out a jaguars tongue and everyone would want to have sex with me.

Including the zoo animals? :/

Deepflow · 23 Jun 2005, 20:01

Quote:

Originally Posted by Appocomaster

Including the zoo animals? :/

especially the zoo animals

Phang · 23 Jun 2005, 20:01

Quote:

Originally Posted by Appocomaster

Including the zoo animals? :/

no; it's his defence for subsequently raping the small child.

dda · 24 Jun 2005, 03:55

Quote:

Originally Posted by Phang

no; it's his defence for subsequently raping the small child.

Michael Jackson was saving that one for his next trial.

roadrunner_0 · 24 Jun 2005, 12:21

surreal image of the week: michael jackson having sex with small boys over the corpses of big cats with blood leaking from their mouths

Appocomaster · 24 Jun 2005, 12:28

Well, they were obviously scared. And he knows how bad it is being scared of things as a child, so he was only naturally comforting them.

Radical Edward · 27 Jun 2005, 09:14

Quote:

Originally Posted by vampire_lestat

if you blow down a dogs nose when its biting something it lets go and chokes, because it seals off its throat when its getting a hold on something, assumably so that shit doesn't fall into its lungs. Mabie that works with leopards too, never tried it on anything larger than a spaniel.

also if you yank a dog's front legs apart (quite possibly any quadraped) you split it's heart open.

vampire_lestat · 27 Jun 2005, 11:28

I'd never heard that one, but it makes sense that it would do it some damage, at the least to its ribcage.