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Unread 1 Sep 2005, 15:45   #1
Marilyn Manson
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Exclamation North-South Divide.

What a really shit thing they had on the news this morning. Apparently there's a new TV programme about the North-South divide.

So guess who they've got to represent the South? Londoners with plums in their mouths, doubtless living on many thousands a week, and (by their appearences.) spending too long in the Savoy. Oh, and Micheal Winner. And what a contemptible piece of human shite he is.

WELL OF COURSE THEY'RE GOING TO THINK THE NORTH IS INFERIOR BY COMPARISON, YOU MONGCHOPS. HOW ABOUT SOME REAL SOUTHERNERS?

These people are not representing the South. They're representing London - pretty much the only redeeming feature of the south of England. Because, let's face it, the South has no other cities of note, really. Few important cultural centres. We manage to combine both the smaller, more picturesque city - Durham, York (I would perhaps tentatively insert Edinbrugh in here), etc - with the more developed, vibrant types. We've got practically all other the large conurbations; It has too much countryside, and the countryside it has is much too bland. We have the North York Moors. We have the Lake District. We have Northumberland. We have the Highlands. We have the Peak District.

You have, umm, bales of hay in Buckinghamshire.

London is one of, if not the best city in the world. But it is not the south. The South as a whole is largely bland and irrelevant and sparsely populated. We had an industrial revolution up here. The South had widespread inbreeding in Cornwall and Norfolk.

That is all.

Last edited by Marilyn Manson; 1 Sep 2005 at 15:58.
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Unread 1 Sep 2005, 15:49   #2
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Re: North-South Divide.

Wales is the opposite, nearly everything good is in the south.

Anytime I go north they all treat me like shit and look at me with disgust because I can't speak Welsh
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Unread 1 Sep 2005, 15:56   #3
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Re: North-South Divide.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Marilyn Manson
What a really shit thing they had on the news this morning. Apparently there's a new TV programme about the North-South divide.

So guess who they've got to represent the South? Londoners with plums in their mouths, doubtless living on many thousands a week, and (by their appearences.) spending too long in the Savoy. Oh, and Micheal Winner. And what a contemptible piece of human shite he is.

WELL OF COURSE THEY'RE GOING TO THINK THE NORTH IS INFERIOR BY COMPARISON, YOU MONGCHOPS. HOW ABOUT SOME REAL SOUTHERNERS?

These people are not representing the South. They're representing London - pretty much the only redeeming feature of the south of England. Because, let's face it, the South has no other cities of note, really. Few important cultural centres. We manage to combine both the smaller, more picturesque city - Durham, York, etc - with the more developed, vibrant types. We've got practically all other the large conurbations; It has too much countryside, and the countryside it has is much too bland. We have the North York Moors. We have the Lake District. We have Northumberland. We have the Highlands. We have the Peak District.

You have, umm, bales of hay in Buckinghamshire.

London is one of, if not the best city in the world. But it is not the south. The South as a whole is largely bland and irrelevant and sparsely populated. We had an industrial revolution up here. The South had widespread inbreeding in Cornwall and Norfolk.

That is all.
**** you.
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Unread 1 Sep 2005, 16:06   #4
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Re: North-South Divide.

So lets think. Going by this wonderful rationale, theyre going to pick a celebrity to represent each major north/south city.

Your lists please GD of the most suitable individual to represent UK Cities
  • Newcastle - Jimmy Nail
  • Liverpool - Stan Boardman
  • Manchester - Shaun Ryder
  • Birmingham - Jasper Carrott
  • London - Shane Ritchie / Bradley Walsh (who can tell the difference)
  • Glasgow - Gregor Fisher (Rab C Nesbitt)

Cant think of any more worthwhile cities TBH. Anything south or south west of Birmingham is Ooo-arr country.
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Unread 1 Sep 2005, 16:08   #5
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Re: North-South Divide.

You'ld have to have Liam and Noel Gallagher for Manchester.
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Unread 1 Sep 2005, 16:14   #6
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Re: North-South Divide.

You forgot to mention how shit the southern coastal towns are (Margate, Bournemouth, et al). And the legions of Tories that occupy much of the South.

Although, I would say that quite a lot of the South (East) outside of London isn't that sparsely populated.

And I hear Cambridge / Oxford are reasonably nice although I'm not sure.
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Unread 1 Sep 2005, 16:23   #7
Marilyn Manson
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Exclamation Re: North-South Divide.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dante Hicks
You forgot to mention how shit the southern coastal towns are (Margate, Bournemouth, et al). And the legions of Tories that occupy much of the South.
Indeed I did. What an oversight. Just look at the electoral map.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dante Hicks
Although, I would say that quite a lot of the South (East) outside of London isn't that sparsely populated.
Most of it is simply sprawl from London. So I rather counted it in with London for the purposes of the above rant.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dante Hicks
And I hear Cambridge / Oxford are reasonably nice although I'm not sure.
Oxford is supposed to be rather awful. Although I've never been so I couldn't say.
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Unread 1 Sep 2005, 16:27   #8
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Re: North-South Divide.

Saying parts of the south are inbred is a bit rich coming from anywhere in the north.

also:
Quote:
Originally Posted by Phang
**** you.
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Unread 1 Sep 2005, 16:28   #9
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Re: North-South Divide.

Just after leaving my house this morning, I overheard someone talking to his friend, this man, through his accent, obviously didn't come from the area. "Aaamm jus' gawing dawn street." What is it about southerns, my experience is only limited to Londoners admittedly, and an inability to pronound the 'o' sound.

"Aaam jus gawing dawn street ta catch bas, aaam ganna gaw ta pab later."

Londonish is the only regional accent that really gets under my skin.
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Unread 1 Sep 2005, 16:28   #10
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Re: North-South Divide.

cambridge is a dump - think old street but busier, noisier, dirtier, and without character, but for an entire town. oxford is pretty if crowded.

and exactly how far do you define the London sprawl, MM?
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Unread 1 Sep 2005, 16:31   #11
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Re: North-South Divide.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Weeks
"Aaam jus gawing dawn street ta catch bas, aaam ganna gaw ta pab later."
Thats geordie surely....
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Unread 1 Sep 2005, 16:31   #12
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Exclamation Re: North-South Divide.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Phang
and exactly how far do you define the London sprawl, MM?
All of the bits in the South East full of people who work in London but who live in 'towns' made largely of shacks put up in the eighties, with no defined identity or independent cultural life. These are nothing little places.

Quote:
Originally Posted by sniborp
Saying parts of the south are inbred is a bit rich coming from anywhere in the north.
You have many more yokels than us. Fact.
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Unread 1 Sep 2005, 16:32   #13
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Re: North-South Divide.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Marilyn Manson
All of the bits in the South East full of people who work in London but who live in 'towns' made largely of shacks put up in the eighties, with no defined identity or independent cultural life.
frontiers, i meant.
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Unread 1 Sep 2005, 16:34   #14
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Re: North-South Divide.

Quote:
Originally Posted by sniborp
Thats geordie surely....
Dunno. But if you go to London and actually pronounce the 'u' in bus people will look at you funny.

"That man's pranancin' that ward fanny."
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Unread 1 Sep 2005, 16:36   #15
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Exclamation Re: North-South Divide.

Quote:
Originally Posted by sniborp
Thats geordie surely....
The Geordie accent is fully comprehensible to those without brain damage. Hardly anyone in Newcastle speaks with the comedically exagerated Geordie accent of popular culture.
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Unread 1 Sep 2005, 16:37   #16
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Re: North-South Divide.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Marilyn Manson
All of the bits in the South East full of people who work in London but who live in 'towns' made largely of shacks put up in the eighties, with no defined identity or independent cultural life. These are nothing little places.
Its better than row after row of crumbling terrace 'houses'.

Quote:
You have many more yokels than us. Fact.
and you have many more criminals, louts, alcoholics, broken homes, teenage pregancies, benefit fraud-ing lay abouts than us. fact
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Unread 1 Sep 2005, 16:37   #17
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Exclamation Re: North-South Divide.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Phang
frontiers, i meant.
I don't know. Where the urban nothingness ends and the rural nothingness begins? Where people stop voting Labour because of low interest rates and start voting Tory because they are biggoted rural shit-sacks? You tell me.
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Unread 1 Sep 2005, 16:39   #18
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Re: North-South Divide.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Weeks
"That man's pranancin' that ward fanny."
Only a minority of Londoners speak with a strongly identifiably "London" accent like this.

There are many strong accents represented in London ("posh", cockney, jamaican, bangladeshi, etc) but it's hardly homogenuous.
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Unread 1 Sep 2005, 16:39   #19
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Re: North-South Divide.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Marilyn Manson
Oxford is supposed to be rather awful. Although I've never been so I couldn't say.
I wouldnt go that far. Its shit for getting around, its just one big 1 way street. The night life is pretty poor as well. They dont seem to have bins in the centre either, just leave the rubbish in bags on the street which doesnt help it look so nice.
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Unread 1 Sep 2005, 16:39   #20
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Exclamation Re: North-South Divide.

Quote:
Originally Posted by sniborp
Its better than row after row of crumbling terrace 'houses'.
We don't have terrace houses in the North. Not anymore, anyway.

Quote:
Originally Posted by sniborp
and you have many more criminals, louts, alcoholics, broken homes, teenage pregancies, benefit fraud-ing lay abouts than us. fact
Yes. This is because we have this thing called 'urban development', sweetie. We live in cities, you see. And cities have these things called 'social problems.'
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Unread 1 Sep 2005, 16:42   #21
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Re: North-South Divide.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Marilyn Manson
We don't have terrace houses in the North. Not anymore, anyway.
Oh you progressed to tower blocks now?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Marilyn Manson
Yes. This is because we have this thing called 'urban development', sweetie
Whens this 'urban development' due to start?
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Unread 1 Sep 2005, 16:43   #22
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Exclamation Re: North-South Divide.

Quote:
Originally Posted by sniborp
Oh you progressed to tower blocks now?
No, we progressed to tower blocks in the late fifties and early sixties. We're busy taking them down now. I expect you'll see them in Basingstoke and Hemel Hempstead around 2090.
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Unread 1 Sep 2005, 16:47   #23
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Re: North-South Divide.

Oh what a pity that we'll have to get rid of this :/
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Unread 1 Sep 2005, 16:48   #24
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Re: North-South Divide.

There's nothing actually wrong with terraced houses. One of the more stupid things that post-war housing policy achieved was demolishing a hell of a lot of houses that didn't need to be demolished under the banner of slum clearance, only to replace them with terribly built estates.
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Unread 1 Sep 2005, 16:53   #25
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Re: North-South Divide.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dante Hicks
There's nothing actually wrong with terraced houses. One of the more stupid things that post-war housing policy achieved was demolishing a hell of a lot of houses that didn't need to be demolished under the banner of slum clearance, only to replace them with terribly built estates.
woah, fast edit.

while i agree, there is an inherent problem in low-end terracing on any scale in that by having high-density low-priced housing, you create areas of focused poverty which become crime blackspots and lead to increased hopelessness and despair and all that malarkey. Far better is to intersperse different tiers of housing (a row of terraces with some five-bed detatched creations on the next street, for example) - it removes the ghetto element that can spring up in these places.

Yes I am speaking from first-hand experience.
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Unread 1 Sep 2005, 17:08   #26
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Re: North-South Divide.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Marilyn Manson
Yes. This is because we have this thing called 'urban development', sweetie. We live in cities, you see. And cities have these things called 'social problems.'
Isn't this supposed to be a thread about how great cities are and how shit the south is because it doesn't have cities?
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Unread 1 Sep 2005, 17:21   #27
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Re: North-South Divide.

So there's a stupid new tv programme being made which will be emotive nonsense about a supposed north south divide.
You've spotted that the level of intellect involved in making this tv show will be lower than george bush on a bad day.

And this thread is here for what then?

To shame the makers of the tv programme by spouting our own emotive rubbish and half baked ideas and skewed personalised 'facts'? We're trying to shame them by showing them how even normally decent posters can make themselves look like spoilt 4 year olds when they discuss a topic as silly as 'north/south' divide? Is that the plan? Shaming them by acting worse?
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Unread 1 Sep 2005, 17:25   #28
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Re: North-South Divide.

I see that all of you 'Northerners' are acquiring the complex which was previously restricted to Liverpool.
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Unread 1 Sep 2005, 17:46   #29
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Re: North-South Divide.

Quote:
Originally Posted by sniborp
Thats geordie surely....
I can cope with Geordie it's not too bad.

Scouse on the other hand cuts right through me.
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Unread 1 Sep 2005, 17:53   #30
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Re: North-South Divide.

Berlin > London
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Unread 1 Sep 2005, 17:55   #31
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Re: North-South Divide.

Quote:
Originally Posted by G.K Zhukov
Berlin > London
bollocks.
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Unread 1 Sep 2005, 18:34   #32
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Re: North-South Divide.

People from London think I'm from the bloody countryside because I'm from Nottingham/Sheffield.
****ing idiots.

Out of the biggest 18 cities in the UK only 3 are in the south.
Bristol, Plymouth and London.

Id say the south starts around Northampton. The North starts around Chesterfield/Stoke.
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Unread 1 Sep 2005, 19:06   #33
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Re: North-South Divide.

Please do not include Scotland in your rubbish petty North / South divide pish. We have absolutely nothing to do with it. To me, you're all pansy southerners.
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Unread 1 Sep 2005, 20:24   #34
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Re: North-South Divide.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Yahwe
So there's a stupid new tv programme being made which will be emotive nonsense about a supposed north south divide.
You've spotted that the level of intellect involved in making this tv show will be lower than george bush on a bad day.

And this thread is here for what then?

To shame the makers of the tv programme by spouting our own emotive rubbish and half baked ideas and skewed personalised 'facts'? We're trying to shame them by showing them how even normally decent posters can make themselves look like spoilt 4 year olds when they discuss a topic as silly as 'north/south' divide? Is that the plan? Shaming them by acting worse?
What do call a British lawyer with an IQ of 50?

















Your Honor.
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Unread 1 Sep 2005, 20:42   #35
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Re: North-South Divide.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Phang
cambridge is a dump - think old street but busier, noisier, dirtier, and without character, but for an entire town.
What the christ are you on about?
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Unread 1 Sep 2005, 20:48   #36
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Re: North-South Divide.

Quote:
Originally Posted by MrL_JaKiri
What the christ are you on about?
before it turned out i'd arseholed up my exams, i went to the cambridge open day.

i'd give it the edge over, say, Hull, or Aylesbury, but as far as 'nice towns' are concerned it scores horribly.
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Unread 1 Sep 2005, 20:52   #37
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Re: North-South Divide.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Phang
before it turned out i'd arseholed up my exams, i went to the cambridge open day.

i'd give it the edge over, say, Hull, or Aylesbury, but as far as 'nice towns' are concerned it scores horribly.
What the christ are you on about?

[edit]

http://images.google.com/images?q=ca...en&sa=N&tab=wi
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Unread 1 Sep 2005, 20:56   #38
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Re: North-South Divide.

Quote:
Originally Posted by MrL_JaKiri
What the christ are you on about?

[edit]

http://images.google.com/images?q=ca...en&sa=N&tab=wi
and this is supposed to be flattering.
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Unread 1 Sep 2005, 20:57   #39
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Re: North-South Divide.

You cant claim Edinburgh for the north. The axes are rotated in Scotland with the west coast hosting many of the more unpleasant places in the UK, and the east coast generally being quite pleasant.

Last edited by Nodrog; 1 Sep 2005 at 21:05.
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Unread 1 Sep 2005, 21:01   #40
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Re: North-South Divide.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Phang
That's Cambridge, MA you utter pillock.
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Unread 1 Sep 2005, 21:03   #41
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Re: North-South Divide.

Quote:
Originally Posted by MrL_JaKiri
That's Cambridge, MA you utter pillock.
ok, i'll grant you that.



....shit.


however, outside the campus and church buildings the town is crap.
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Unread 1 Sep 2005, 21:04   #42
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Re: North-South Divide.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Nodrog
You cant claim Edinburgh for the north. The axes are reversed in Scotland with the west coast hosting many of the more unpleasant places in the UK, and the east coast generally being quite pleasant.
Actually both coasts are ****ing shite. you can make a glasgow edinburgh comparison if you want but im not interested in that. But dont try and herald the beauty of Dundee or 'Granite City' Aberdeen to me
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Unread 1 Sep 2005, 21:08   #43
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Re: North-South Divide.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Yahwe
So there's a stupid new tv programme being made which will be emotive nonsense about a supposed north south divide.
You've spotted that the level of intellect involved in making this tv show will be lower than george bush on a bad day.

And this thread is here for what then?

To shame the makers of the tv programme by spouting our own emotive rubbish and half baked ideas and skewed personalised 'facts'? We're trying to shame them by showing them how even normally decent posters can make themselves look like spoilt 4 year olds when they discuss a topic as silly as 'north/south' divide? Is that the plan? Shaming them by acting worse?
Nice try. I shan't hold you responsible.
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Unread 1 Sep 2005, 21:40   #44
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Re: North-South Divide.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Nodrog
You cant claim Edinburgh for the north. The axes are rotated in Scotland with the west coast hosting many of the more unpleasant places in the UK, and the east coast generally being quite pleasant.


Riiiiight

Nod , i think you need to look at the crime rates for the north east of Scotland alone to see that per head of population, its pretty seriously ****ing far ahead of most west coast towns.

Fishing towns up and down the coast on the east are losing jobs hand over fist, and crime rates are rising phenomenally quickly. The west coast lost most of its sea-faring industry a while back, and has already moved onto other job markets. The fact is, so many of the east coast towns are miles away from large cities and have poor policing because cop shops shut at 6 and theyre only covered by central stations in larger towns.

Go have a night out in Fraserburgh, and then tell me that its safer than Glasgow.
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Unread 1 Sep 2005, 21:56   #45
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Re: North-South Divide.

I was only really talking about Glasgow and Edinburgh, there isnt really anything in Scotland worth mentioning apart from a few pretty mountains up north.
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Unread 1 Sep 2005, 21:56   #46
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Re: North-South Divide.

cambridge isn't that great. it's full of gypsies, chavs, foreigners and students. AND NOONE ELSE.

It looks quite nice, but only because of the university. without the university Cambridge wouldn't be mentioned at all ever.
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Unread 1 Sep 2005, 22:01   #47
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Re: North-South Divide.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ste
cambridge isn't that great. it's full of gypsies, chavs, foreigners and students. AND NOONE ELSE.
There are plenty of academics, and generally beardy men!

And gypsies tend to infest only part of the year. Students too.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ste
It looks quite nice, but only because of the university. without the university Cambridge wouldn't be mentioned at all ever.
As the university IS the town, that's a very strange thing to say. Nobody would care about the lake district if it wasn't for the hills.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Phang
however, outside the campus
The town, at least the central and interesting part of it, is the campus.
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Unread 1 Sep 2005, 22:47   #48
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Re: North-South Divide.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ste
cambridge isn't that great. it's full of gypsies, chavs, foreigners and students. AND NOONE ELSE.

It looks quite nice, but only because of the university. without the university Cambridge wouldn't be mentioned at all ever.
without it's buildings paris would just be a mud flat and it wouldn't get half the hype.
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Unread 1 Sep 2005, 22:49   #49
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Re: North-South Divide.

i live in the south. life is quiet, peaceful and mildly inoffensive.

if we wish to be offended we visit london - it is close by.

The south begins and ends at places like Guildford, Reading, Newbury etc. London and anything north of it doesn't qualify. Anything west of Wiltshire and Dorset, is the west country.

I can't claim it is better, but I enjoy it.
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Unread 1 Sep 2005, 23:35   #50
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Re: North-South Divide.

Quote:
Originally Posted by MrL_JaKiri
There are plenty of academics, and generally beardy men!
i'll grant you beardy men, there were lots of them in the physics department. in fact, a greater concentration of beardy men than anywhere else i've ever been.

but since you insist, the buildings in cambridge which are not owned and maintained by the university or its colleges are singularly and extraordinarily dull and often somewhat run down. the same can, in fact, be said for a small but significant number of the university buildings as well, at least those i visited.
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