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Unread 7 Aug 2005, 19:47   #1
Deepflow
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Advice thread for silversmoke

Basically, it has been brought to my attention, that the 20 year old girl our dear friend silversmoke is going out with is a virgin, and screams whenever he tries to put his cock in her. Whilst many of us would find this a turn on, dear Silver seems to take this as a cue to desist.

What this thread is for is numerous schemes to get her to "put out" as it were

anyway:

Finger her with more and more fingers/hand/wrist/arm until its loose enough to get in

Slip it in whilst she is asleep

just PUSH through instead of putting it in a small amount thus getting her to complain

gogogo
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Unread 7 Aug 2005, 19:48   #2
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Re: Advice thread for silversmoke

eh
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Unread 7 Aug 2005, 19:49   #3
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Re: Advice thread for silversmoke

Make a worse pain elsewhere so she's distracted from the no-no place pain.

Cutting off one of her arms might achieve this.

Only problem with that one is finishing the sex quickly enough so that there's still time to get her to a hospital before she dies from the blood loss.

What with it being SilverSmoke and all i dont think "finishing quickly" will be a big problem tho.

"GG" fella.
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Unread 7 Aug 2005, 19:51   #4
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Re: Advice thread for silversmoke

Alternatively **** her in the ass sans vaseline so she really knows what "tight is like".
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Unread 7 Aug 2005, 19:53   #5
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Re: Advice thread for silversmoke

ignore her when she complains

simple but effective
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Unread 7 Aug 2005, 20:01   #6
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Re: Advice thread for silversmoke

How the f'k has Silversmoke got a conscious woman to sleep with him ?
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Unread 7 Aug 2005, 20:03   #7
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Re: Advice thread for silversmoke

get her very very drunk, chances are she won't feel it
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Unread 7 Aug 2005, 20:04   #8
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Re: Advice thread for silversmoke

I have a friend who had a girlfriend whom it was impossible to fit a dick in. He did away with her.

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Unread 7 Aug 2005, 20:09   #9
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Re: Advice thread for silversmoke

I've had the problem of not being able to get it all the way in before... It's not fun.

I suggest just guilt tripping her until she decides to take the pain. "If you loved me you wouldn't scream" etc.
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Unread 7 Aug 2005, 21:41   #10
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Re: Advice thread for silversmoke

Dead girls dont say no
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Unread 7 Aug 2005, 23:26   #11
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Re: Advice thread for silversmoke

christ.

tear, smplumf, aaaaaaaaaaaah!, oh, oh!, oh!, oh!, oh, oh

Take her pants off, pummel her, have your two minutes of fun, ko.
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Unread 7 Aug 2005, 23:33   #12
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Re: Advice thread for silversmoke

spleeaple?
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Unread 7 Aug 2005, 23:35   #13
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Re: Advice thread for silversmoke

i didnt spell anything badly, thats just harsh
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Unread 7 Aug 2005, 23:48   #14
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Re: Advice thread for silversmoke

HARSH LIKE AN ALCOHOLIC'S* BREATH!!!

























*your (Robbie's)
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Unread 8 Aug 2005, 00:03   #15
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Re: Advice thread for silversmoke

plan a romantic light dinner, light some candles, put some soothing music on, dim the lights and get into a soft bed after you've put on some fresh sheets and bed covers smelling of spring, get some oil and massage her till shes relaxed, tell her shes the most beautiful girl in the world,talk sweet nothings to her, let her explore your body to get a little control and feel comfortable, get her on top and whilst she lies on your stomach tell her to back gently onto your penis whilst you guide it in, she can stop whenever she wants, look into her eyes, kiss/caress her etc*





















*IF YOU'RE A FAG THAT IS, get her drunk fs, put some rophonol inside her, grease her up and have your way. You're either being pwned by a 20yr old or you're pwning the 20yr old. Its up to you.




/edit

tell her you're like the tatooist guy her mother took her to to get her ears pierced, a moments pain to open up the hole but it leads to a lifetimes use.
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Unread 8 Aug 2005, 06:34   #16
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Re: Advice thread for silversmoke

Silversmoke relationship drama thread for the week commencing August 7th.
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Unread 8 Aug 2005, 08:12   #17
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Re: Advice thread for silversmoke

don't get her drunk, you'll take away something special and valuable from her and turn it into a fumbling **** up.
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Unread 8 Aug 2005, 14:37   #18
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Re: Advice thread for silversmoke

Firstly, does she love silversmoke (or think she does?) as it'll be a lot harder if she doesn't, tbh. Just push the limits every couple of days. If you push her hard to have sex, she'll have it once out of guilt then probably not want it again. If she (feels she) has a bit of control at first (like, try and get her to suggest it, and occasionally let her lead things), then you'll get a lot more sex in the long run, and she'll probably be more willing to try a lot more things later once she gets used to it. People are a lot more willing to do things when they feel happy with it than if they do it to keep someone else happy. Also, the first time it generally hurts like **** for women, so you might want to give her a heads up and remind her it'll be a lot better all the other times.

Oh, and if you make her feel she's shit at it, it's another good way not to get sex. be positive and suggestive
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Unread 8 Aug 2005, 15:13   #19
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Re: Advice thread for silversmoke

She does indeed love me and already feel guilty for this, because she really wants it herself as well. Mind you, we did everything except for that but something blocks her because she fears the pain very much.

Tonight she comes over and brings 2 bottles of wine with her so we'll see. Actually I don't really consider this as a huge problem as things will be fine soonish, it's her who's bothered with this a lot.
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Unread 8 Aug 2005, 17:30   #20
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Re: Advice thread for silversmoke

Show her this thread. That should calm her fears.
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Unread 8 Aug 2005, 18:23   #21
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Re: Advice thread for silversmoke

According to all the sex stories I've read, it always "kind of hurts yet feels so good" - so go for it.

Apparently, she'll then let you do her up the arse and cum all over her hair.

Erotic texts are good because they're realistic
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Unread 8 Aug 2005, 18:27   #22
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Exclamation Re: Advice thread for silversmoke

Give her a local anaesthetic.
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Unread 8 Aug 2005, 18:44   #23
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Re: Advice thread for silversmoke

loosen her up with your fingers and tongue.
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Unread 8 Aug 2005, 19:05   #24
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Re: Advice thread for silversmoke

Quote:
Originally Posted by SilverSmoke
Tonight she comes over and brings 2 bottles of wine with her so we'll see. Actually I don't really consider this as a huge problem as things will be fine soonish, it's her who's bothered with this a lot.
because you're going to gang rape her am i rite?
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Unread 8 Aug 2005, 22:29   #25
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Re: Advice thread for silversmoke

Quote:
Originally Posted by SilverSmoke
Tonight she comes over and brings 2 bottles of wine with her so we'll see.


So she's gonna go from one small half-asian man's penis to a wine bottle ALL IN ONE NIGHT!

You've got a goer there SilverSmoke

A REAL goer!
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Unread 9 Aug 2005, 05:54   #26
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Re: Advice thread for silversmoke

Ignore this thread if it is not a problem
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Unread 9 Aug 2005, 06:35   #27
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Re: Advice thread for silversmoke

Great, wine will help fulfill both needs. Just don't dump her during a vacation!
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Unread 9 Aug 2005, 06:43   #28
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Re: Advice thread for silversmoke

Buy her a dildo. She can then 'prepare' herself for the real thing.
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Unread 9 Aug 2005, 07:19   #29
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Re: Advice thread for silversmoke

Just don't use it on yourself too -- hahaha!!!!!!!111111111111111111111111
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Unread 9 Aug 2005, 07:32   #30
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Re: Advice thread for silversmoke

Quote:
Originally Posted by sniborp
Dead girls dont say no

the po-lice does however
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Unread 9 Aug 2005, 07:53   #31
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Re: Advice thread for silversmoke

I detect some jealousy in this thread.
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Unread 9 Aug 2005, 13:48   #32
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Re: Advice thread for silversmoke

it hurts the first time, and be prepared for blood.
best plan is to make her come first and she will be relaxed, lubricated and slightly numb
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Unread 9 Aug 2005, 14:17   #33
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Re: Advice thread for silversmoke

Surely the best advice for Silversmoke would be,

DON'T BE A FAG
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Unread 9 Aug 2005, 14:21   #34
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Re: Advice thread for silversmoke

Quote:
Originally Posted by SilverSmoke
She does indeed love me and already feel guilty for this, because she really wants it herself as well. Mind you, we did everything except for that but something blocks her because she fears the pain very much.

Tonight she comes over and brings 2 bottles of wine with her so we'll see. Actually I don't really consider this as a huge problem as things will be fine soonish, it's her who's bothered with this a lot.
You can't have done too much, otherwise she'd have seen your tiny penis and her fears of being hurt/feeling it would have been calmed completely.

I don't think you're being completely honest with us.
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Unread 9 Aug 2005, 14:43   #35
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Re: Advice thread for silversmoke

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dead_Meat
You can't have done too much, otherwise she'd have seen your tiny penis and her fears of being hurt/feeling it would have been calmed completely.

I don't think you're being completely honest with us.

oh lol, i didn't expect a tiny penis comment when I checked this thread after noticing the last reply was from funny old DM!
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Unread 9 Aug 2005, 15:02   #36
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Re: Advice thread for silversmoke

Someone had to do it. This thread was lacking in 'small penis' jokes.
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Unread 9 Aug 2005, 16:03   #37
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Re: Advice thread for silversmoke

Quote:
Originally Posted by Vaio
Surely the best advice for Silversmoke would be,

DON'T BE A FAG
Isnt that a bit late?
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Unread 9 Aug 2005, 22:37   #38
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Re: Advice thread for silversmoke

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dead_Meat
Someone had to do it. This thread was lacking in 'small penis' jokes.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Dace
So she's gonna go from one small half-asian man's penis to a wine bottle ALL IN ONE NIGHT!

You've got a goer there SilverSmoke

A REAL goer!

orly?!
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Unread 10 Aug 2005, 10:39   #39
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Re: Advice thread for silversmoke

Rly.
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Unread 10 Aug 2005, 10:47   #40
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Re: Advice thread for silversmoke

I know the real reason she wont sleep with you yet, it is about the pain but not the pain you think it is.

Basically you bird is a dirty bird, you know the sort who hangs out with the football club every saturday and lets all the boys score at least once.

Shes had one of those virgin repair ops and is still waiting for it to heal. Give it a few weeks and it wil be as good as new, well as new as an old ford capri of a bird can be that is.
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Unread 10 Aug 2005, 13:49   #41
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Re: Advice thread for silversmoke

Sleep with her mother instead.
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Unread 10 Aug 2005, 15:51   #42
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Re: Advice thread for silversmoke

Quote:
Originally Posted by skiddy
Sleep with her mother instead.
That is jolly good, sure it will work...
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Unread 10 Aug 2005, 15:55   #43
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Exclamation Re: Advice thread for silversmoke

Cum in her makeup bag.
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Unread 10 Aug 2005, 16:29   #44
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Re: Advice thread for silversmoke

Quote:
Originally Posted by CrashTester
I know the real reason she wont sleep with you yet

She does sleep with me
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Unread 12 Aug 2005, 00:56   #45
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Re: Advice thread for silversmoke

to quote norman lamont:

"if it isn't hurting, it isn't working"

or was that just his spitting image puppet.

it's all a blur
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Unread 12 Aug 2005, 04:49   #46
Thermodynamics
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Re: Advice thread for silversmoke

Quote:
Originally Posted by Flavius
your friend was dating Kura?
ROTFL
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