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Unread 15 Dec 2005, 23:04   #1
pig
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GD is elected to Government

Ok well I know this is a bit roleplaying etc but its more fun here. I was thinking if GD was a political party and for some bizare reason we got elected into government, who from GD would take what posts? Im going to list the positions of cabinet. Either fill them all in or just a few. Anyway a little bit of light hearted and ego boosting fun.

:EDIT: Removed a job lot just have a bit of fun

Prime Minister

Deputy Prime Minister

Chancellor of the Exchequer

Secretary of State for Foreign and Commonwealth Affairs

Secretary of State for Transport

Secretary of State for Defence

Secretary of State for Health

Secretary of State for Home Affairs

Secretary of State for Education and Skills

Minister without Portfolio

Chief Whip
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Unread 15 Dec 2005, 23:06   #2
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Re: GD is elected to Government

Which job involves least work with the most possibilities for abuse?

I'll have that one.

Oooh, how about "Minister without portfolio". That sounds like a piece of piss.
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Unread 15 Dec 2005, 23:08   #3
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Re: GD is elected to Government

Guess Tomkat takes the seat in Secretary of State for Education and Skills

What's Chief Whip?
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Unread 15 Dec 2005, 23:08   #4
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Re: GD is elected to Government

Chief Whip is the person in charge of making sure people vote accordingly
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Unread 15 Dec 2005, 23:11   #5
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Re: GD is elected to Government

Anyone going for Chief Whip can expect 300 gags in relation to their sexual preferences.
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Unread 15 Dec 2005, 23:11   #6
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Re: GD is elected to Government

Quote:
Originally Posted by pig
Chief Whip is the person in charge of making sure people vote accordingly
Not the kind of whipper I'd like to be then.
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Unread 15 Dec 2005, 23:14   #7
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Re: GD is elected to Government

Ill take "Secretary of State for Foreign and Commonwealth Affairs" as im clearly on a permanent jolly on an offshore island rolling with money which I can influence to bring extra trade to the UK*




*despite the fact it has almost no industry to bring to the UK.
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Unread 15 Dec 2005, 23:16   #8
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Re: GD is elected to Government

Myself for either Prime Minister, Chancellor of the Exchequer (finance minister, right? or Minister of Defence.

I would rock as any of em really

Johnny as Foreign Minster! His slick tounge and drinking skills for the win!
T&F as Chief Whip simply becouse he have/is worked for little Satan (aka Blair) and therefor should have learned the tricks by now
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Unread 15 Dec 2005, 23:19   #9
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Re: GD is elected to Government

Quote:
Originally Posted by pig
Ok well I know this is a bit roleplaying etc but its more fun here. I was thinking if GD was a political party and for some bizare reason we got elected into government, who from GD would take what posts? Im going to list the positions of cabinet. Either fill them all in or just a few. Anyway a little bit of light hearted and ego boosting fun.

:EDIT: Removed a job lot just have a bit of fun

Prime Minister JOHNNYBGOOD

Deputy Prime Minister DEAD MEAT

Chancellor of the Exchequer MARILYN MANSON (just to see what he would do if he had any money)

Secretary of State for Foreign and Commonwealth Affairs TEXAN (no explanation necessary)

Secretary of State for Transport SKIDDY (a scooter in every garage)

Secretary of State for Defence DACE (though I admit I thought it was Defiance when I first looked)

Secretary of State for Health DEEPFLOW (knows pharmacuticals)

Chief Whip T & F (but only when in full maid attire)

Secretary of State for Home Affairs WHOEVER IT WAS THAT WAS THINKING OF BUILDING THE SHED IN HIS BACKYARD

Secretary of State for Education and Skills YAHWE (all memos would begin "Yahwe Explains.........whatever")
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Last edited by dda; 15 Dec 2005 at 23:20. Reason: quote in wrong place
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Unread 15 Dec 2005, 23:20   #10
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Re: GD is elected to Government

I want the Lord Chancellorship, obviously.
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Unread 15 Dec 2005, 23:38   #11
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Re: GD is elected to Government

I want deputy Prime minister despite the fact its now considered a gay persons job thanks to Little Britain.
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Unread 15 Dec 2005, 23:40   #12
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Re: GD is elected to Government

I'll be leading the guerilla movement
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Unread 15 Dec 2005, 23:51   #13
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Re: GD is elected to Government

SilverSmoke for Minister of Gorillas (hairless variety)
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Unread 16 Dec 2005, 00:23   #14
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Re: GD is elected to Government

I would obviously get Education and SKILLZ!!!111
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Unread 16 Dec 2005, 01:08   #15
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Re: GD is elected to Government

Quote:
Originally Posted by Superpig #1
I want deputy Prime minister despite the fact its now considered a gay persons job thanks to Little Britain.
have i been misunderstanding that sketch, missed a whole series of sketches or are you just wrong?
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Unread 16 Dec 2005, 01:18   #16
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Re: GD is elected to Government

Clearly 1-X needs a position
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Unread 16 Dec 2005, 01:21   #17
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Re: GD is elected to Government

Irish as PM ???

are you made. hed change our flag to this and kill every 'dirty prod' on a great catholic crusade.

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Unread 16 Dec 2005, 01:23   #18
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Re: GD is elected to Government

Quote:
Originally Posted by JammyJim
Irish as PM ???

are you made. hed change our flag to this and kill every 'dirty prod' on a great catholic crusade.

flag doesn't work for me
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Unread 16 Dec 2005, 01:26   #19
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Re: GD is elected to Government

worked for me, its just an irish flag i was dissapointed ;/
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Unread 16 Dec 2005, 01:28   #20
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Re: GD is elected to Government

i hereby volunteer as Secretary of State for transport and deportation.
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Unread 16 Dec 2005, 01:31   #21
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Re: GD is elected to Government

Quote:
Originally Posted by pig
worked for me, its just an irish flag i was dissapointed ;/

everyone feels this way when they see an irish flag
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Unread 16 Dec 2005, 01:32   #22
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Re: GD is elected to Government

Quote:
Originally Posted by pig
worked for me, its just an irish flag i was dissapointed ;/
Maybe it's all these usenet posts I'm downloading
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Unread 16 Dec 2005, 01:33   #23
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Re: GD is elected to Government

Quote:
Originally Posted by JammyJim
everyone feels this way when they see an irish flag
I have a question for you, the rapper you know from stratford upon avon, I believe I know him and he goes to University of Kent. I was speaking to him yesterday actually...
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Unread 16 Dec 2005, 01:34   #24
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Re: GD is elected to Government

If he does Law and his rap name is 'El Halfcast' (real name Tariq) then say Hi and tell him to give me a ring. Ive lost his number.
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Unread 16 Dec 2005, 01:36   #25
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Re: GD is elected to Government

Quote:
Originally Posted by JammyJim
If he does Law and his rap name is 'El Halfcast' (real name Tariq) then say Hi and tell him to give me a ring. Ive lost his number.
I probably wont see him until next term. Everyone calls him El and he did win the rap contest, but I will mention it when I see him, btw where did we meet? Do we have to say an internet forum?
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Unread 16 Dec 2005, 01:39   #26
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Re: GD is elected to Government

He used to play Planetarion too.

If he makes fun of it tell him you will tell everyone and spready his dirty secret to the world. hohoho

also say 'bean to the extreme' just to make sure this is the same guy. If it is he will understand
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Unread 16 Dec 2005, 01:40   #27
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Re: GD is elected to Government

haha ok
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Unread 16 Dec 2005, 01:54   #28
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Re: GD is elected to Government

WHERE IS THE MINISTRY OF CIRCUS FOLK, I ASK YOU
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Unread 16 Dec 2005, 01:56   #29
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Re: GD is elected to Government

ideally i would be in charge of awarding contracts to bidders.

based on their 'merit'
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Unread 16 Dec 2005, 02:14   #30
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Re: GD is elected to Government

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tomkat
I would obviously get Education and SKILLZ!!!111
No. I think not. Although perhaps a new post of Secretary of Hats?
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Unread 16 Dec 2005, 02:21   #31
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Re: GD is elected to Government

Quote:
Originally Posted by pablissimo
WHERE IS THE MINISTRY OF CIRCUS FOLK, I ASK YOU
You mean the Ministry of Love for Small Boys?

aka the most contested department of GD.
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Unread 16 Dec 2005, 02:35   #32
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Re: GD is elected to Government

JBG is too busy rampaging across the asiatic plains to be worrying about primeminister.
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Unread 16 Dec 2005, 04:30   #33
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Re: GD is elected to Government

I'd be a backbencher because everybody hates me but they can't do anything about it
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Unread 16 Dec 2005, 05:22   #34
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Re: GD is elected to Government

I'll be Minister of the Internet
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Unread 16 Dec 2005, 05:42   #35
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Re: GD is elected to Government

Quote:
Originally Posted by Leshy
I'll be Minister of the Internet
would you ban IE and make everyone use opera?

would you censor certain sites, what would you do, tell us your policies ;p
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Unread 16 Dec 2005, 11:11   #36
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Re: GD is elected to Government

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ste
have i been misunderstanding that sketch, missed a whole series of sketches or are you just wrong?
I reserve the right to be wrong.

Please somebody tell me Sebastian is:
1. Deputy Prime minister
2. Gay
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Unread 16 Dec 2005, 11:23   #37
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Re: GD is elected to Government

It's fairly unlikely that Sebastian isn't gay.
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Unread 16 Dec 2005, 11:25   #38
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Re: GD is elected to Government

Quote:
Originally Posted by Superpig #1
I reserve the right to be wrong.

Please somebody tell me Sebastian is:
1. Deputy Prime minister
2. Gay
I have no idea where you got 1 from.
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Unread 16 Dec 2005, 11:32   #39
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Re: GD is elected to Government

qazok for home secretary (they're the one who's busy eroding basic freedoms under the cover of anti terrorism, right?)
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Unread 16 Dec 2005, 12:32   #40
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Re: GD is elected to Government

Quote:
Originally Posted by Proteus
I have no idea where you got 1 from.
Assumption
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Unread 16 Dec 2005, 13:03   #41
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Re: GD is elected to Government

Quote:
Originally Posted by Superpig #1
I reserve the right to be wrong.

Please somebody tell me Sebastian is:
1. Deputy Prime minister
2. Gay
ok. You've completely misunderstood the sketch then.
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Unread 16 Dec 2005, 13:09   #42
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Re: GD is elected to Government

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ste
ok. You've completely misunderstood the sketch then.
No he hasn't :/

It's just he's an advisor, not Deputy Prime Minister. His job title doesn't really have anything to do with the sketch though.

The whole joke is that he's the prime minister's advisor, but is in love with him "secretly".

What did you think the joke was?
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Unread 16 Dec 2005, 13:09   #43
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Re: GD is elected to Government

Quote:
Originally Posted by dda
No. I think not. Although perhaps a new post of Secretary of Hats?
I'LL BUY THAT FOR A DOLLAR!
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Unread 16 Dec 2005, 13:31   #44
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Re: GD is elected to Government

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tomkat
No he hasn't :/

It's just he's an advisor, not Deputy Prime Minister. His job title doesn't really have anything to do with the sketch though.

The whole joke is that he's the prime minister's advisor, but is in love with him "secretly".

What did you think the joke was?
okok, i meant half misunderstood the sketch...
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Unread 16 Dec 2005, 13:52   #45
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Re: GD is elected to Government

I volunteer for the Vice Department, failing that, the Genocide Department
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Unread 16 Dec 2005, 14:13   #46
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Re: GD is elected to Government

The Cabinet (Formed by the Rt Hon JonnyBGood)


Prime Minister, First Lord of the Treasury and Minister for the Civil Service - JonnyBGood

Deputy Prime Minister and First Secretary of State - Kurashima

Chancellor of the Exchequer - Stew

Secretary of State for Foreign and Commonwealth Affairs - Dace

Secretary of State for the Home Department - Marilyn Manson (a new system of punishments would come into force)

Secretary of State for Transport - NEWSBOT3

Secretary of State for Health - Dante Hicks

Secretary of State for Education and Skills - Tomkat

Secretary of State for Scotland - Phang

Secretary of State for Northern Ireland - IncubusGod

Secretary of State for Wales - midge5

Secretary of State for Defence - skiddy

Secretary of State for Environment, Food and Rural Affairs - Deepflow

Secretary of State for Trade and Industry - G.K.Zhukov (a communist in the most capitalist job, what can go wrong?)

Secretary of State for Culture, Media and Sport - T&F (film-maker extraordinairre)

Parliamentary Secretary to the Treasury (Chief Whip) - JammyJim

Leader of the House of Commons, and Lord Privy Seal - 1-X

Secretary of State for Constitutional Affairs and Lord Chancellor - Lord 'Proteus' Denning

Secretary of State for International Development - dda

Secretary of State for Work and Pensions - Dead_Meat (because he's collecting his lolz)

Attorney General - Yahwe




Too much time on my hands? Just because I handed in my essay earlier? Nah....
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Unread 16 Dec 2005, 15:35   #47
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Re: GD is elected to Government

TheShadowMan needs to be MM's deputy as Minister for Police, in charge of implementing GD's new "knackers whackers at dawn" crackdown on crime.
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Unread 16 Dec 2005, 16:00   #48
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Re: GD is elected to Government

I'm pretty sure I could do the Housing Minister's job (although it's all subsumed by the ODPM anyway).
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Unread 16 Dec 2005, 21:16   #49
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Re: GD is elected to Government

What about me?

I've got anger management issues apparently.
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Unread 16 Dec 2005, 21:47   #50
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Re: GD is elected to Government

I think I'd make a better Secretary of State for Education and Skills, because I'm actually interested in educating people.

Failing that, I suspect I'd be heading up the opposition.
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