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Unread 16 Jan 2007, 12:44   #1
-Blue Moon-
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translation mix-ups

I was looking on another forum (http://forum.wordreference.com) and I found a gem of a thread which really cracked me up, about funny and embarrasing mistakes made by people trying to learn a language in a foreign country. Here's a couple that made me laugh:

I have a friend called Dave who's from Ireland and when he came to France to visit me and my family, as he didn't have much money he decided to hitch a ride. Now Dave speaks very little French but still, he wanted to make conversation with the guy who'd given him a ride.

As it was really cold outside, assuming that talking about the weather was pretty safe, he went: "je suis fou!" (I am insane) instead of "j'ai froid" (I'm cold).

Then he realized he must have made some sort of mistake and didn't utter another word during the whole journey! It still makes me laugh to tears.


In 12 years' teaching English as a foreign language in Spain my students have given me plenty of lovely little moments. The best comic moments were from an older gentleman who was studying English from scratch in order to speak to his daughter-in-law. His keenness to learn and speak was only matched by his flamboyant disregard for any grammar in his sentences. He was always the first to laugh at his own mistakes.
Here are some of his gems:

To get angry is when you lose your temperature. (temper)
I am a handbag. (I have a bag)
I eat my wife. (My wife makes my food)
There are too many people in this snack. (snack-bar)
When are you fat? (?)
My favourite sandwich is jam and keys. (ham and cheese)
Ah, selfish! Like the big store in London! (Selfridges)
A zip is a small animal. ( I presume he was talking about a bee)
A further 2000 pounds is now being sick (sought)
Before I start a long journey in the car I always check the whales. (wheels)
-Are you single?
-No, I'm double.


several years ago I wanted to refer to a friend of mine as a gentleman (caballero), and instead called him a caballo (horse).

etc...

Now my story... I had once tried to help teach a Greek girl some english and, being college students, we were telling her about male reproductive organs ( a vital part of her education). She couldn't quite get the hang of the word 'penis' and kept saying 'peanuts' which we found a little amusing, that was until my 'helpful' friend told her he had two peanuts (referring to balls) -- and you should have seen the scared look on her face! O_o


Hope other people have some fun examples :-)
-tux
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Unread 16 Jan 2007, 12:47   #2
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Re: translation mix-ups

I was having sex with an Italian Girl and she said "come on me"

so I did...

she meant "hug me" but never mind
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Unread 16 Jan 2007, 19:40   #3
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Re: translation mix-ups

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ste
I was having sex with an Italian Girl and she said "come on me"

so I did...

she meant "hug me" but never mind
Pfft its almost the same :S
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Unread 16 Jan 2007, 20:46   #4
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Re: translation mix-ups

One of my wife's hillbilly friend and his girlfriend call each other 'Johann' which they think means stupid. I told her that after 4 years of German in High School, that 'Johann' was just a name, the equivalant of 'John' in English. I then went on to tell her what the equivalant of stupid was and she didn't understand the word so told me to stop being a 'know-it-all'.
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Unread 16 Jan 2007, 21:06   #5
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Re: translation mix-ups

Why do you live with/socialise with all these hillbillies if you hate them so much?
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Unread 16 Jan 2007, 22:57   #6
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Re: translation mix-ups

It seems J25's wife is always befriending those hillbillies.
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Unread 16 Jan 2007, 23:05   #7
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Re: translation mix-ups

Here are some infamous dutch once that have actually been used:

I always get my sin. (I always get what I want)

Go your gang (ga je gaan, go ahead)

I'm a bit in the war ('in de war' means 'confused' in dutch)

I do not want to fall with the door in the house

How do you do and how do you do your wife?

May I thank your cock for the lovely dinner? (a kok means a chef)

I fok horses
I beg your pardon?
Yes paarden
(to fok = to breed) (paarden means horses)

Very holiday

You've fallen with your nose in the butter

I almost went off my little stick (I almost passed out)

I spend my day spitting in the garden (working)

I'm the state secretary of the inside and i'm having my first period

I hate you hardly welcome (I welcome you with all my heart)
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Last edited by Alessio; 16 Jan 2007 at 23:27.
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Unread 17 Jan 2007, 00:27   #8
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Re: translation mix-ups

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tomkat
Why do you live with/socialise with all these hillbillies if you hate them so much?
I'm accidentally married one, and she won't give up her hillbilly friends for some reason, and I can't legally beat them out of her.

Edit: I don't recall ever mentioning hating them, on the contrary I love the hillbillies, they give me a laugh.
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Last edited by jt25man; 17 Jan 2007 at 00:38.
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Unread 17 Jan 2007, 02:06   #9
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Re: translation mix-ups

Quote:
Originally Posted by jt25man
I'm accidentally married one, and she won't give up her hillbilly friends for some reason, and I can't legally beat them out of her.

Edit: I don't recall ever mentioning hating them, on the contrary I love the hillbillies, they give me a laugh.
Yeah, I don't think you ever have. You don't seem to especially like spending time with them or anything though.
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Unread 17 Jan 2007, 02:12   #10
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Re: translation mix-ups

Quote:
Originally Posted by jt25man
Edit: I don't recall ever mentioning hating them, on the contrary I love the hillbillies, they give me a laugh.
Even at the funeral?
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Unread 17 Jan 2007, 09:03   #11
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Re: translation mix-ups

Quote:
Originally Posted by jt25man
I'm accidentally married one, and she won't give up her hillbilly friends for some reason, and I can't legally beat them out of her.

Edit: I don't recall ever mentioning hating them, on the contrary I love the hillbillies, they give me a laugh.
They must have some redeeming features .. after all
jt25man married one.
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Unread 17 Jan 2007, 10:17   #12
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Re: translation mix-ups

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mistwraith
They must have some redeeming features .. after all
jt25man married one.
More likely to do anal?
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Unread 17 Jan 2007, 11:41   #13
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Re: translation mix-ups

lol nice how this thread was left for a day and somehow changed from translation mix-ups to how hillbillies might be more open-minded to anal sex.

i love gd
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Unread 17 Jan 2007, 17:00   #14
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Re: translation mix-ups

I had a teacher from scotland in 'cultura inglesa' which is one of the best english schools in brazil ( i dunno how my english still is as crappy as it is) and he would harass me constantly to take notes of everything during the class. One day I told him to leave me alone that i could handle myself

then he called me an ignorant disrespectfull bastard

I was never harassed by teachers in regular classes ( meaning highschool etc). It took a brute from scotland to do that

I think that it contained no funny translation misunderstandings, but its an interesting story on cultural differences
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Unread 17 Jan 2007, 17:20   #15
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Re: translation mix-ups

I once said heaven/sky instead of ice.

Wow, that was hilarious...
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Unread 17 Jan 2007, 20:06   #16
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Re: translation mix-ups

Quote:
Originally Posted by -Blue Moon-
lol nice how this thread was left for a day and somehow changed from translation mix-ups to how hillbillies might be more open-minded to anal sex.

i love gd
Your original post was shit.
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Unread 17 Jan 2007, 20:50   #17
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Re: translation mix-ups

whilst working in a student bar a while back a chinese student asked me for a small cock instead of a small coke.












did you give her a small cock anyway is the witty reply question you were looking for.
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Unread 17 Jan 2007, 21:06   #18
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Re: translation mix-ups

yes and i charged her 78p for it.
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Unread 17 Jan 2007, 21:18   #19
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Re: translation mix-ups

you were lucky she didnt ask for a large cock or you just wouldnt have known what to do would you hebdomad?!?!
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Unread 17 Jan 2007, 21:25   #20
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Re: translation mix-ups

I ejaculate globules of thick white coke as well.
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Unread 17 Jan 2007, 21:31   #21
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Re: translation mix-ups

A man once said as a pick-up line: "I have a penis the size of a baby."
The girl giggled and said: "Really, that's it."
The man then said: "Yep, 12 inches long, weighs 9 pounds, 6 ounces."

I dunno if that counts as a translation mix-up though.
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Unread 17 Jan 2007, 22:33   #22
Baron Morte
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Re: translation mix-ups

hey hey hey

that joke was invented in brazil
it even sounds funnier in portuguese :frowns very hard:
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Unread 17 Jan 2007, 23:53   #23
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Re: translation mix-ups

Quote:
Originally Posted by Baron Morte
hey hey hey

that joke was invented in brazil
it even sounds funnier in portuguese :frowns very hard:
Because of all the lisping involved, I expect?
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Unread 18 Jan 2007, 17:03   #24
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Cool Re: translation mix-ups

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tomkat
Because of all the lisping involved, I expect?
sure, cos we all talk walk and look like fez from thats 70´s show!!

everyday is party

you gotta go down under someday
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Unread 18 Jan 2007, 17:08   #25
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Re: translation mix-ups

Quote:
May I thank your cock for the lovely dinner? (a kok means a chef)
I didnt know that
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Unread 18 Jan 2007, 17:20   #26
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Re: translation mix-ups

Isn't there a difference between Mexican Spanish and Castillian Spanish where if you say "Where can I catch a bus" it sounds like "I want to **** a bus" or something?

My ex couldn't understand why everyone would piss themselves when she was trying to find a bus stop in Guadlajara...
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Unread 18 Jan 2007, 18:26   #27
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Re: translation mix-ups

Well, I was teaching English when I was in Moscow and a 35 year old woman there asked:

' I've been in correspondance with an American business man. What is the difference between whorehouse and warehouse?'

after a short explanation she swore and blushed.. a lot =)
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Unread 18 Jan 2007, 18:29   #28
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Re: translation mix-ups

Quote:
Originally Posted by -Blue Moon-
-Are you single?
-No, I'm double.

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Unread 18 Jan 2007, 22:04   #29
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Re: translation mix-ups

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ste
Isn't there a difference between Mexican Spanish and Castillian Spanish where if you say "Where can I catch a bus" it sounds like "I want to **** a bus" or something?

My ex couldn't understand why everyone would piss themselves when she was trying to find a bus stop in Guadlajara...
lollolololo


its that in some spanish countries you can call a tiny bus of 'buseta' which sounds just like 'buceta' which means twat


lol
people always make jokes about that

day in day out
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Unread 23 Jan 2007, 02:21   #30
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Re: translation mix-ups

Quote:
The Fire-Bursts.com project is moving. Since we're planning an extensive online service, thorough preparation is necessary. Unfortunately this can take some time, because we can only work on it further during our sometimes very restricted free time.

Also, the website has to be kept active in places. A public test is planned for March 2007. Thanks to our web partner, Fire-Bursts.com will be able to finance itself in the future, so all our services will remain free.

In the future we will not be able to get by without advertising, however we're going a new way with this. Our concept is theme based advertising and product placement, without annoying the user. Well placed information is always more effective than annoying flashing.

Thankyou to all our loyal users - your data will of course be kept safe.

Below are some games that we'll be supporting in the future:
You know professionals charge like 5p per word for something like that
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