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4 Jun 2005, 01:06
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#1
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Guest
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Ending a life
All this talk of Big Brother, has reminded me of the excellent book by Ben Elton called "Dead Famous"
Basically, a murder takes place in a setting not too dissimilar to the Big Brother house. It's quite funny actually, he has the typical cockny lad character, the stupid eye candy chick, the hard lesbian etc....
Anyway - after realising that Mary is a bit un-stable, I was hoping she would attempt to murder one of the fellow housemates.
With cameras on you, 24 hours a day - do you think it would be possible to carry out a murder in the Big Brother house?
If so, who would you kill in the current house, and how would you do it without being discovered?....
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4 Jun 2005, 01:10
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#2
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I am.
Join Date: Nov 2004
Posts: 6,580
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Re: Ending a life
[big brother]
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hi
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4 Jun 2005, 01:13
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#3
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Guest
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Re: Ending a life
I thought I was the only bored, loser, with no friends, alone, at home, with a microwave meal for one, on a Friday night.
I was wrong.
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4 Jun 2005, 01:17
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#4
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I am.
Join Date: Nov 2004
Posts: 6,580
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Re: Ending a life
i'm not so sure
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hi
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4 Jun 2005, 01:20
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#5
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Guest
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Re: Ending a life
Bi/Curious?
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4 Jun 2005, 01:21
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#6
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nomen est omen
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: Bristol, UK
Posts: 1,095
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Re: Ending a life
Quote:
Originally Posted by Spiderman
I thought I was the only bored, loser, with no friends, alone, at home, with a microwave meal for one, on a Friday night.
I was wrong.
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__________________
Me=Hans_Blix
Views expressed are those of the author and not of any company or organisation I am associated with. Electronic communication can be forged and the integrity of this message is not guaranteed.
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4 Jun 2005, 11:08
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#7
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:alpha:
Join Date: May 2002
Location: London, UK
Posts: 7,871
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Re: Ending a life
You couldn't get away with it.
Just because the cameras don't show all parts of the house, doesn't mean they aren't being filmed.
The only way you could do it is if everyone was in a hidden area (for example, under the covers of a bed or something) and then you stabbed someone. But your fingerprints would be all over the murder weapon. It could easily be traced back to you.
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"There is no I in team, but there are two in anal fisting"
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4 Jun 2005, 11:19
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#8
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mmm.. pills
Join Date: Apr 2000
Location: Australia
Posts: 2,152
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Re: Ending a life
I am 100% certain there would be at least a couple of blind spots or maintenance areas that they don't film, it's possible. That aside, murdering someone does not have to involve the completely obvious and screaming 'gaaah! take that!' while lunging in full view with a dagger. Who says it has to be physical homicide at all, why not poisoning or something a little more discreet?
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4 Jun 2005, 11:20
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#9
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Made of Twigs
Join Date: Jun 2003
Posts: 5,459
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Re: Ending a life
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tomkat
Just because the cameras don't show all parts of the house, doesn't mean they aren't being filmed.
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Exactly:
Quote:
- A huge production team of over 150 people is needed to make the Big Brother TV shows.
- The team works around the clock and, even in the wee small hours, there are three producers and two directors on duty, plus at least 22 other crew members.
- Their eyes are glued to over 50 monitors in the Big Brother control room.
- Five manned cameras follow the housemates from behind one-way mirrors.
- An additional 21 remote-controlled cameras are operated by producers in the control room.
- Not only that, but every square inch of the house and garden is under surveillance by ten fixed cameras.
- Over 40 hidden microphones catch every word, even the most private conversations.
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__________________
If I hadn't seen such riches, I could live with being poor - James
It's hard to be humble when you're as great as I am - Muhammad Ali
So **** y'all, all of y'all; if y'all don't like me, blow me! - Dr. Dre
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4 Jun 2005, 11:52
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#10
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Registered Awesome Person
Join Date: Jul 2002
Posts: 5,676
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Re: Ending a life
Besides, it would be easy to tell who you are even if you managed to find a unfilmed location.
Two go in. One comes out. The other one is found dead later on. Who does the evidence point to? Not the most complex of mysteries.
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Finally free!
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4 Jun 2005, 11:54
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#11
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Guest
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Re: Ending a life
What about sleight of hand? Or even, getting someone else to kill your target...
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4 Jun 2005, 13:24
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#12
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cynic
Join Date: May 2000
Location: Bishop Auckland Co. Durham
Posts: 8,809
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Re: Ending a life
poison would be the way forward, poison the lot of them and get them off the TV that is
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lazy
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4 Jun 2005, 13:40
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#13
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cynic
Join Date: May 2000
Location: Bishop Auckland Co. Durham
Posts: 8,809
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Re: Ending a life
nah, if you are looking at it like that, rather than coke you shuld feed them speed or E, would be much funnier
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lazy
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4 Jun 2005, 13:54
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#14
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The Twilight of the Gods
Join Date: Jan 2001
Posts: 23,481
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Re: Ending a life
Quote:
Originally Posted by Spiderman
All this talk of Big Brother, has reminded me of the excellent book by Ben Elton called "Dead Famous"
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It's hardly "excellent". The plot isn't very interesting, and as an attempt to make it into a "comedy" he introduced a character who just quoted from Ben Elton's own standup every single time he opens his mouth.
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4 Jun 2005, 13:58
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#15
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This is bat country
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: Norway
Posts: 1,693
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Re: Ending a life
I'd apply venom to a consealed needle.
a little tap and away he goes
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Burárum!
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4 Jun 2005, 14:51
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#16
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Lord Denning
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: City of London
Posts: 2,548
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Re: Ending a life
Quote:
Originally Posted by djbass
I am 100% certain there would be at least a couple of blind spots or maintenance areas that they don't film, it's possible.
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Even if there were such areas (which seems unlikely), how would you know where they were?
Quote:
Originally Posted by djbass
That aside, murdering someone does not have to involve the completely obvious and screaming 'gaaah! take that!' while lunging in full view with a dagger. Who says it has to be physical homicide at all, why not poisoning or something a little more discreet?
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You'd have to get the poison into what they eat or drink somehow, and when they died the police would simply watch all the footage involving their food and drink until they saw you adding something to it.
__________________
Please bear in mind when reading the above post that I am always right.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Marilyn Manson
He was crowned in York Cathedral as 'Expert in the West' by Pope Urban III in 1186.
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4 Jun 2005, 14:52
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#17
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Next goal wins!
Join Date: Sep 2000
Location: London
Posts: 5,406
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Re: Ending a life
Quote:
Originally Posted by MrL_JaKiri
It's hardly "excellent". The plot isn't very interesting, and as an attempt to make it into a "comedy" he introduced a character who just quoted from Ben Elton's own standup every single time he opens his mouth.
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im sure i laughed a few times, although its not as good as his first few books. Whatever that's worth, i have a terrible suspicion if i reread ben elton i wouldnt particularly enjoy it now.
still, i didn't guess who it was who did the murder. Quite stupid of me really, it's obvious when you think about it.
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bastard bastard bastard bastard
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4 Jun 2005, 15:10
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#18
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The Twilight of the Gods
Join Date: Jan 2001
Posts: 23,481
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Re: Ending a life
Quote:
Originally Posted by Deepflow
im sure i laughed a few times
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How much of his standup have you seen?
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4 Jun 2005, 15:49
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#19
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Love's Sweet Exile
Join Date: May 2001
Location: Living on a Stair (Now Sword-less)
Posts: 2,371
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Re: Ending a life
I bought Past Mortem the other day, I finished that other book (which was excellent, really amusing in a strange way), and will probably begin reading it this evening. I've never read anything by him before, so don't really have any expectations.
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--SYMM--
Ba Ba Ti Ki Di Do
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4 Jun 2005, 15:54
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#20
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Next goal wins!
Join Date: Sep 2000
Location: London
Posts: 5,406
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Re: Ending a life
Quote:
Originally Posted by MrL_JaKiri
How much of his standup have you seen?
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certainly not all of it, which could explain it. I'm sure i recognised a few of the jokes though. I didn't realise it was all lifted from back when he was funny though.
im so naive
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bastard bastard bastard bastard
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4 Jun 2005, 15:55
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#21
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Next goal wins!
Join Date: Sep 2000
Location: London
Posts: 5,406
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Re: Ending a life
Quote:
Originally Posted by SYMM
I bought Past Mortem the other day, I finished that other book (which was excellent, really amusing in a strange way), and will probably begin reading it this evening. I've never read anything by him before, so don't really have any expectations.
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I would suggest gridlock, and this other eden (was it called that? something eden anyway), and stark.
imo much better than his later stuff.
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bastard bastard bastard bastard
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4 Jun 2005, 18:09
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#22
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:alpha:
Join Date: May 2002
Location: London, UK
Posts: 7,871
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Re: Ending a life
Quote:
Originally Posted by MrL_JaKiri
It's hardly "excellent". The plot isn't very interesting, and as an attempt to make it into a "comedy" he introduced a character who just quoted from Ben Elton's own standup every single time he opens his mouth.
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entirely subjective entirely subjective entirely subjective entirely subjective entirely subjective entirely subjective entirely subjective entirely subjective entirely subjective entirely subjective entirely subjective entirely subjective entirely subjective entirely subjective entirely subjective entirely subjective entirely subjective entirely subjective entirely subjective entirely subjective
On topic, death by cock in the BB house would be the way to kill someone. That'd boost the rating! Huzzah!
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"There is no I in team, but there are two in anal fisting"
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4 Jun 2005, 20:24
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#23
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Vermin Supreme
Join Date: Jul 2000
Location: Pittsburgh
Posts: 3,280
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Re: Ending a life
poison everyone (into dinner's spaghetti sauce or something. the day before. think there's a decent in-fridge camera?).
antidote for everyone but him.
that's the easy way, unlikely they would guess, and would assume the poisoning happened after that person's portion was divvied from the bulk.
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4 Jun 2005, 21:26
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#24
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Evul Critter
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: York
Posts: 255
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Re: Ending a life
Didn't the SAS training team 'infiltrate' the Big brother house once without being spotted? The same ones that turned all the queens jewels around etc. If they can do something like that, i'm sure its possible to get away with murder in the Big brother house.
wasn't this a plot of Diagnosis Murder once? also Dick van Dyke did catch the killer...
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Critters own....
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4 Jun 2005, 21:36
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#25
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so f*cking zen
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Hitting Bottom
Posts: 8,499
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Re: Ending a life
Quote:
Originally Posted by zakoff
Didn't the SAS training team 'infiltrate' the Big brother house once without being spotted? The same ones that turned all the queens jewels around etc.
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Have you been confusing dreams with reality again?!
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On a long enough timeline, the survival rate for everyone drops to zero.
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4 Jun 2005, 21:44
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#26
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Evul Critter
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: York
Posts: 255
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Re: Ending a life
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dace
Have you been confusing dreams with reality again?!
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dunno if it happened, i just remember reading it in the newspaper ages ago.
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Critters own....
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4 Jun 2005, 21:58
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#27
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dazed and confused
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Defford
Posts: 379
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Re: Ending a life
Did you read it some time around the beginning of the fourth month?
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rats live on no evil star
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4 Jun 2005, 22:58
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#28
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Guest
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Re: Ending a life
Here's my idea...
You pick up an apple, and a knife, and start eating it next to your bed, leaving the knife on the floor by your bed.
Then somehow "arranging" for 5 of you to huddle together under a duvet on you bed. You then arrange the duvet to fall slightly over the knife and pick it up.
You then stab yourself and someone else in the shoulder - leaving 2 people unhurt, and killing your target.
Obviously, you must have appeared to be very friendly with your victim, and ideally, creating tension between the victim and the 2 unscathed people.
?
Oh yeh, and you say your fingerprints were on the knife because you were just using it - ideally, you need another set of prints on the knife as well...
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5 Jun 2005, 01:30
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#29
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wild one
Join Date: Feb 2001
Location: River Edge, NJ
Posts: 3,313
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Re: Ending a life
Quote:
Originally Posted by Spiderman
Here's my idea...
You pick up an apple, and a knife, and start eating it next to your bed, leaving the knife on the floor by your bed.
Then somehow "arranging" for 5 of you to huddle together under a duvet on you bed. You then arrange the duvet to fall slightly over the knife and pick it up.
You then stab yourself and someone else in the shoulder - leaving 2 people unhurt, and killing your target.
Obviously, you must have appeared to be very friendly with your victim, and ideally, creating tension between the victim and the 2 unscathed people.
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Oh yeh, and you say your fingerprints were on the knife because you were just using it - ideally, you need another set of prints on the knife as well...
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And we find another member of GD who knows **** all about forensics...
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5 Jun 2005, 01:34
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#30
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Banned
Join Date: May 2001
Location: Further to the right
Posts: 19,441
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Re: Ending a life
I'd be rather more surprised if we found a single member of GD who knew **** all about forensics.
__________________
Some might ask what good is life without purpose but I'm anticipating a good lunch.
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5 Jun 2005, 01:40
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#31
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wild one
Join Date: Feb 2001
Location: River Edge, NJ
Posts: 3,313
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Re: Ending a life
The general principals aren't that difficult.
The problem with Spiderman's suggestion is that he's going to stab himself, thus the would depth is going to be affected by his psychological state and the wound angle is going to need consideration. Coupled with that cutting an apple is going to leave fingerprints on different areas than stabbing three people - one of them to death.
Then, lets think about the time it takes for someone to die having been stabbed... the covers aren't going to stay on for long - not least after the other people in the bed realise what's happened and try to get out...
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5 Jun 2005, 01:42
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#32
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I am.
Join Date: Nov 2004
Posts: 6,580
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Re: Ending a life
the problem with his plan is leaving 2 healthy witnesses and one injured (and hence angry one)
there's no need for sherlock on this particular crime scene
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hi
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5 Jun 2005, 01:45
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#33
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Banned
Join Date: May 2001
Location: Further to the right
Posts: 19,441
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Re: Ending a life
Let's be honest, the main problem with his plan is that it doesn't involve him dying.
__________________
Some might ask what good is life without purpose but I'm anticipating a good lunch.
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5 Jun 2005, 01:45
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#34
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wild one
Join Date: Feb 2001
Location: River Edge, NJ
Posts: 3,313
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Re: Ending a life
That depends, the two healthy and one wounded witness may not be of much help, given the speed of which the encounter would be over with.
Sure, it would implicate him, but the fact that they don't actually know what happened would mean as a witness they'd be little use - other than saying they didn't do it - something he himself would say too.
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5 Jun 2005, 01:46
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#35
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I am.
Join Date: Nov 2004
Posts: 6,580
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Re: Ending a life
trust me.
i do this.
3 witnesses too many.
but on base principles i agree with jonny.
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hi
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5 Jun 2005, 01:48
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#36
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wild one
Join Date: Feb 2001
Location: River Edge, NJ
Posts: 3,313
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Re: Ending a life
Fair one, I'll back down to you're judgement on this one.
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5 Jun 2005, 01:51
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#37
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I am.
Join Date: Nov 2004
Posts: 6,580
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Re: Ending a life
hell.
we both pointed out that he was retarded.
you and i are both winners here.
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hi
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5 Jun 2005, 02:08
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#38
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wild one
Join Date: Feb 2001
Location: River Edge, NJ
Posts: 3,313
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Re: Ending a life
\o/
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5 Jun 2005, 04:15
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#39
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mmm.. pills
Join Date: Apr 2000
Location: Australia
Posts: 2,152
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Re: Ending a life
Quote:
Originally Posted by Proteus
Even if there were such areas (which seems unlikely), how would you know where they were?
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Unlikely? To quote Stew quoting BB "A huge production team of over 150 people is needed to make the Big Brother TV shows". Have you ever seen a film set, it's a lot messier than the pretty views that get presented on TV. There will be maintenance areas at the very least, spaces that non BB members need access to so they can run all the equipment. Not to mention the thousands of cables and other assorted things running all over the place to support the cameras & lighting. If you live in the house 24/7, you're going to become pretty damn familier with the surroundings, in particular the schedule and rostering of crew members. It is likely however that such areas have guards posted to keep the contestants from entering, but people are a lot easier to fool than camera equipment is.
Quote:
You'd have to get the poison into what they eat or drink somehow, and when they died the police would simply watch all the footage involving their food and drink until they saw you adding something to it.
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That's what I mean by discreet, slieght of hand is required so that it never becomes obvious you are inserting the poison.
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5 Jun 2005, 09:12
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#40
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Lord Denning
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: City of London
Posts: 2,548
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Re: Ending a life
Quote:
Originally Posted by djbass
Unlikely? To quote Stew quoting BB "A huge production team of over 150 people is needed to make the Big Brother TV shows". Have you ever seen a film set, it's a lot messier than the pretty views that get presented on TV. There will be maintenance areas at the very least, spaces that non BB members need access to so they can run all the equipment. Not to mention the thousands of cables and other assorted things running all over the place to support the cameras & lighting. If you live in the house 24/7, you're going to become pretty damn familier with the surroundings, in particular the schedule and rostering of crew members. It is likely however that such areas have guards posted to keep the contestants from entering, but people are a lot easier to fool than camera equipment is.
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Have you ever actually seen the Big Brother House, or in fact Big Brother for that matter? You don't seem to have the faintest idea what it's like.
Quote:
Originally Posted by djbass
That's what I mean by discreet, slieght of hand is required so that it never becomes obvious you are inserting the poison.
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Sleight of hand works with a live audience. When someone can replay the event in slow-motion from several different angles your actions will be blatantly obvious.
__________________
Please bear in mind when reading the above post that I am always right.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Marilyn Manson
He was crowned in York Cathedral as 'Expert in the West' by Pope Urban III in 1186.
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5 Jun 2005, 13:01
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#41
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:alpha:
Join Date: May 2002
Location: London, UK
Posts: 7,871
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Re: Ending a life
How about if we went with the "10 in the bed" theory again.
While they were asleep with the duvet over them.
You just put a pillow over their face.
If there was minimal struggle, that would work wouldn't it...?
__________________
"There is no I in team, but there are two in anal fisting"
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5 Jun 2005, 15:11
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#42
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mmm.. pills
Join Date: Apr 2000
Location: Australia
Posts: 2,152
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Re: Ending a life
Quote:
Originally Posted by Proteus
Have you ever actually seen the Big Brother House, or in fact Big Brother for that matter? You don't seem to have the faintest idea what it's like.
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Which one in particular? The UK version, the American version, the Aussie version or god knows how many other incarnations there are of that bloody house out there. Actually no I've not seen specifically the UK Big Brother house, but I have seen the Aussie one. One house built onto a live stage/studio backend surrounded by acres and acres of land on some private property somewhere. I also wish I could say I'd never seen Big Brother, but its infestation of TV makes it impossible. Actually I enjoyed the first season of it, but like most reality shows the concept gets old fast. Now to pose the same question, have you? and if you have, was it just on TV, have you been to the house? as part of the audience that only get a sheltered view of the stage? Don't be fooled into thinking it's just a plain-jane house out in the suburbs somewhere, it's a specially built studio designed to look like a house. Yes it is in concept a house, but that's not its function.
Quote:
Sleight of hand works with a live audience. When someone can replay the event in slow-motion from several different angles your actions will be blatantly obvious.
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Err.. no. Some of our best magicians make a living out of doing just this. It wouldn't be good slieght of hand if you could pick it up on camera.
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5 Jun 2005, 15:28
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#43
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Aardvark is a funny word
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: I'm No Nino Rota
Posts: 5,923
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Re: Ending a life
er, ours is a great big enclosure somewhere in London (Battersea? I have a feeling it's Battersea) and it doesn't look much like a house except it is. The only time members of staff are visible to the housemates are evictions.
__________________
Efficiency, efficiency they say
Get to know the date and tell the time of day
As the crowds begin complaining
How the Beaujolais is raining
Down on darkened meetings on the Champs Élysées
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5 Jun 2005, 16:55
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#44
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Made of Twigs
Join Date: Jun 2003
Posts: 5,459
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Re: Ending a life
Quote:
Originally Posted by Phang
er, ours is a great big enclosure somewhere in London (Battersea? I have a feeling it's Battersea) and it doesn't look much like a house except it is.
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It's in a Tesco car park in Borehamwood, Hertfordshire.
__________________
If I hadn't seen such riches, I could live with being poor - James
It's hard to be humble when you're as great as I am - Muhammad Ali
So **** y'all, all of y'all; if y'all don't like me, blow me! - Dr. Dre
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5 Jun 2005, 17:35
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#45
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Lord Denning
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: City of London
Posts: 2,548
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Re: Ending a life
Quote:
Originally Posted by djbass
Which one in particular? The UK version, the American version, the Aussie version or god knows how many other incarnations there are of that bloody house out there. Actually no I've not seen specifically the UK Big Brother house, but I have seen the Aussie one. One house built onto a live stage/studio backend surrounded by acres and acres of land on some private property somewhere. I also wish I could say I'd never seen Big Brother, but its infestation of TV makes it impossible. Actually I enjoyed the first season of it, but like most reality shows the concept gets old fast. Now to pose the same question, have you? and if you have, was it just on TV, have you been to the house? as part of the audience that only get a sheltered view of the stage? Don't be fooled into thinking it's just a plain-jane house out in the suburbs somewhere, it's a specially built studio designed to look like a house. Yes it is in concept a house, but that's not its function.
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I won't bother answering this, as it's already been pointed out to you that you don't know what you're talking about.
Quote:
Originally Posted by djbass
Err.. no. Some of our best magicians make a living out of doing just this. It wouldn't be good slieght of hand if you could pick it up on camera.
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I would have thought it was obvious that being filmed on a stage performing a trick, knowing exactly where the cameras are and what they can see, and being filmed from random angles by hidden cameras are two completely different situations, but obviously not.
__________________
Please bear in mind when reading the above post that I am always right.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Marilyn Manson
He was crowned in York Cathedral as 'Expert in the West' by Pope Urban III in 1186.
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5 Jun 2005, 17:52
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#46
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Aardvark is a funny word
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: I'm No Nino Rota
Posts: 5,923
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Re: Ending a life
Quote:
Originally Posted by Stew
It's in a Tesco car park in Borehamwood, Hertfordshire.
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really? okay. it's about time borehamwood had something nice i suppose.
__________________
Efficiency, efficiency they say
Get to know the date and tell the time of day
As the crowds begin complaining
How the Beaujolais is raining
Down on darkened meetings on the Champs Élysées
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6 Jun 2005, 12:02
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#47
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mmm.. pills
Join Date: Apr 2000
Location: Australia
Posts: 2,152
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Re: Ending a life
Quote:
Originally Posted by Proteus
I won't bother answering this, as it's already been pointed out to you that you don't know what you're talking about.
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Your not supposed to, not unless you actually have a point at least.
Quote:
I would have thought it was obvious that being filmed on a stage performing a trick, knowing exactly where the cameras are and what they can see, and being filmed from random angles by hidden cameras are two completely different situations, but obviously not.
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Am I sounding like a broken record yet? A good slieght of hand will not be noticed whether on live TV, recorded or two feet infront of someones face, that is the point of the excercise. I get the idea that you're confusing misdirection with slieght of hand. In a misdirection you focus the viewer attention away from the action, which if filmed could easily be replayed so as to study the area that wasn't being observed. A slieght of hand involves performing a hidden or inconspicous movement in plain sight so as it can't be determined that you are actually doing anything that wasn't expected.
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