Quote:
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Originally Posted by Travler
Kid says to parent: "Can I pee on the floor?"
1. Parent with strong boundaries replies: "NO!, you CANNOT PEE on the FLOOR."
2. Parent encouraging decision making skills: "Do you think the floor is the appropriate place for your pee to go?"
Result of #1: Kid knows that peeing on the floor is not correct.
Result of #2: Kid unsure about where the pee should go.
If kids think that something is only bad some of the time they may also generalize other things as well.
Don't be a victim. Don't blame your parents for every flaw you think you have. The only thing keeping you from doing what you want is you. It's all smoke and mirrors to start blaming anything other than ourselves for why we are not what we want to be.
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Actually both are as bad as each other. Studies have shown that simply telling a kid that they shouldn’t do something actually hinder their development. It creates people who are sheep and can’t think for themselves (although that’s no doubt a quality you think is good as its what the church imposes on you) and people don’t like being ordered and are more likely to rebel. The correct response would be a firm no but with justification as to why they shouldn’t, this then helps build their moral compass and allows them to make decisions on issues later in life. It also empowers the kid by letting them be more involved in their decisions. As a general rule any time you tell a kid they can or cant do something it should be followed with a BECAUSE
For example
- Don’t pee on the floor because its unhygienic
- Don’t run with scissors because if you fall your stab yourself
- Do you’re homework because it will increase your knowledge and make your life easier in future
- Do eat your fruit/veg because it will help you stay healthy and live longer
- Don’t smoke because it can cause cancer and other health issues