[Tommy]

I'm getting the feeling you need to be somewhere in the middle. MrLobster's is flashy but doesn't say too much, and yours says what you want it to but looks almost cartoonish. The round, bold, san-serif font in particular looks out of place, especially when serif fonts are considerably better at conveying gravitas. There's a lot that can be done with a simple flash banner, so it's worth seeing if you can get some better animation in there too. While Lobster's contribution isn't perfect, he's got a proven track record when it comes to showy art composition.