Full Metal Jacket (not really a quote, more of a scene :P):
Hartman "How tall are you private!?"
Cowboy "sir,five foot 9 sir!"
Hartman "Five foot 9? I didnt know they stacked shit that high! It looks to me like the best part of you ran downthe crack of your mommas ass and ended up as a brown stain on the mattress!"
Hartman "where in the hell are you from anyway, Private?"
Cowboy "Sir, Texas sir!"
Hartman "Holy Dogshit! Only steers and queers come from Texas, Private Cowboy. And you dont look much like a steer to me, so that kinda narrows it down! Do you suck dicks?"
Cowboy "Sir, no, sir!"
Hartman "Are you a peter-puffer?"
Cowboy "Sir, no, sir!"
Hartman "I'll bet your the kind of guy that would **** a person in the ass and not even have the goddamn common courtesy to give him a reach-around! I'll be watching you!"
that whole scene just cracks me up