[DarkHeart]

I read sumwhere that scandanavian suicide rates are so high because of the short days and long winters. We get S.A.D. in Britain where winters aren't exactly intolerable....so I figure the claim might have some merit to it.

Anyway travler - get a piece of paper. A nice big piece of A3. Draw a line across the middle of it. Thats ground zero. A nothing good, nothing bad kind of place in life. Just existence. The very bottom of the page is suicide. the very top of the page is bliss.

Obv ur depressed, but u aint done the dirty and popped youself so draw a line sumwhere near the bottom. That you, your life right now.

Now have a period of self analysis. What sucks..money obviously, but bankruptcy can often be a relief rather than a burden. Do you have a special lady? Love is a powerful thing. Belonging, who are your real mates. Is there any? Is there people you felt a connection with but for some reason or another never got round to keeping in touch, and doing stuff with. Can you get back in touch with these people or can you join any social clubs in your area were you might meet like minded people.

Your job. Yeah jobs can be crappy. they can be boring and suck major ass, but your job and your life is what you make of it. Money might not make you happy (as its claimed personally it makes me very happy) but money can provide the means to expand your horizons and pursue intrests that do make you happy.

So you need a plan. Analyse your job, and break it down into a list of duties just like you would if you were explaining your position on a c.v. What are your duties? Which do you enjoy doing and which don't you enjoy doing. And why don't you enjoy certain duties. Is there a more efficient way of doing these duties, or a quicker and as productive way maintaining a fair standard of quality which you could perform so you don't have to spend as much time on these duties?. If you have an idea on how to improve your productivity and efficiency, make a list, then when your in work try to introduce these aspects into your functions. Shit like that gets noticed by your superiors!

Most importantly ( i feel ) when you go into work leave your troubles at the door. Theres very little you can do about them whilst your in work so they aint worth worrying about. Focus purely on your work, and the feelings and emotions of your colleagues. Try to make them smile and feel comfortable around you, but don't act the like the class clown. Even if you have very little in common with somebody, ask them about their day...what they got up to last night, build a good foundation for small talk. And be honest. Don't exaggerate or lie about yourself or your achievments.

Be confident in yourself, but have the confidence to tell somebody when a deadline or an expectation is unachievable. Your not superman and your friends, peers and superiors will respect you for having the ability to prioritse, strategise and give a sound evaluation of what can be achieved.

Life is liek a driving long distance in a foreign country, theres plenty of wrong turns and its ez to get lost. You need to make yourself a map, a plan, giver your life direction and set yourself realistic and achievable goals to help climb that piece of paper. Stash it sumwhere, and every month get it back out. Look at what goals you set yourself, what you have accomplished and what you didn't, and mark down where you think your life is that month. Re-evaluate to ensure you can keep climbing, or to stop the rot if you feel it has slipped a bit.

Good luck ba.