I'm starting to think I won't ever have kids, which is kind of
since I'd very much like to have 3/4 kids. Still, my last girlfriend was nine years younger than me so I guess there's still plenty of time.
As for names, I'd give them slightly unusual names (like my own) as it gives the illusion of depth when dealing with idiots. But I'd make them also horribly geeky too.
My current thoughts are : Dante, Guybrush, Karl, Noam, Joss or Fidel for males. Girls would be something like Rosa, Emma, Eleanor, Mia or Raya.
Middle names would be more explicit - Marx, Davidovich, Turing, Chomsky, Luxemburg, Goldmann, Feynman, Zapata, von neumann, Darwin, Konigsberg - that sort of thing.
Being beaten up is an important part of childhood imo.
Failing that sort of approach I'd go for something with a vaguely Celtic root root. Or I'd look at those ethnic distribution of names lists and choose whatever the current least black name was.