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Originally Posted by Toccata & Fugue
I don't understand why people like Santa. He's a bit authoritarian for my liking. Naughty or nice, who is he to judge? And there's no appeals process. Clearly he also favours children from Western elites as well:
"And what would you like for xmas little boy?"
"Could I have a pointlessly large and expensive toy which is a hollow representation of a fantasy world constructed by the shallow and homogenizing influence of children's television?"
"Of course!"
"And what about you?"
"Oh Santa could I have some vaccine which costs less than $5 and will keep me free from a variety of painful diseases so that I can possibly live to be a teenager."
"Erm... I don't really do that. As an anthropomorphic simulcrum of the spirit of giving and celebration I'm really all about toys and make believe."
"I can pretend the syringe is a rocket."
"I'm sorry but our customer charter clearly states that we bear no liability if your dreams diverge from those of Santa corp. its subsidiaries or holdings."
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I wonder if my wife would think it was funny if I bought a piece of coal and wrapped it up and put it was from Santa.