[Maladoni]

Music:
1: Guns and Roses – Welcome to the Jungle
[hopefully this will drown out the salivating natives bongo drums]

2: Red Dwarf Closing Theme Song
[apt, lest I forgot my current pickle]

3: Sex Pistols – God Save the Queen
[I’ll be running a tight fascist regime]

4: English Philharmonic Orchestra – Pomp and Circumstance
[for those moments when you simply have to march up and down the beach b*****k naked like a demented brass band leader]

5: Kylie Minogue – I Should Be So Lucky
[understatement of the year]

6: Chubby Checker and The Fat Boys – The Twist
[beach party time]

7: Wamdue Project – King of My Sand Castle

8: Queen - Fat Bottom Girls
[here’s hoping it’s a Samoan Island]

Book:
The Greek Myths : Complete Edition – Robert Graves [to fill the void that was Coronation Street]

Luxury Item:
Mirror [yeah yeah yeah, looking good]