[furball]

My Predicted Table      Final Table             Difference

1.  Chelsea		Man United		DOWN 1
2.  Man United		Chelsea			UP 1
3.  Arsenal		Arsenal			CORRECT
4.  Liverpool		Liverpool		CORRECT
5.  Tottenham		Everton			DOWN 6
6.  Newcastle		Aston Villa		DOWN 6
7.  Blackburn		Blackburn		CORRECT
8.  Everton		Portsmouth		UP 3
9.  West Ham		Man City		DOWN 1
10. Aston Villa		West Ham		UP 4
11. Bolton		Tottenham		DOWN 5
12. Man City		Newcastle		UP 3
13. Portsmouth		Middlesborough		UP 5
14. Reading		Wigan			DOWN 4
15. Sunderland		Sunderland		CORRECT
16. Birmingham		Bolton			DOWN 3
17. Middlesborough	Fulham			UP 4
18. Fulham		Reading			UP 1
19. Wigan		Birmingham		UP 5
20. Derby		Derby			CORRECT

5 CORRECT - improving on last year's 4. Looking to maintain this level of performance, 6 would be nice but 5 would be acceptable.

Overall score this year: 52 - beating last year's appalling 66. The aim is to break 50 this year. Very acceptable predictions last year. Chelsea nearly won the title despite having no manager from October, Spurs went off the rails and Newcastle went absolutely mental. I still despise the sacking of Allardyce. Pompey couldn't score but grinded their way into the top half of the table. Sammy Lee was even more incompetent than expected and Chris Hutchings was sacked early enough by Whelan for Bruce to rescue them.


1st - Chelsea - this is a very difficult choice but I think Scolari will provide a certain something that was lacking last season. Chelsea have bought well and there's no African Cup of Nations to cripple them this year. They still depend on the full-backs to provide width and it will be up to Scolari to revitalise the career of Cashley 'I'm the biggest **** in the whole wide world' Cole. Goals will come from a midfield of Lampard, Ballack and Deco but a lot will still depend on the fitness of Didier Drogba, a striker who can score a goal every two games but missed much of last season.

2nd - Man Utd - a team that I underrate at my peril. Last year I said that "...unless their entire team puts in superlative performances again, the Chelsea engine will just take it on points. The club doesn't lack in self-confidence, but I'm just not feeling the victory this season. United were a little lucky last season in winning certain fixtures and that won't necessarily happen this season." Ronaldo put in enough superlative performances for everyone last season and United nicked a lot of 1-0s. Yes, it can be done all over again this season but unless they sign a 20 goal a season striker then I'm not sure they'll beat Chelsea to the title.

3rd - Arsenal - this is the sensible place for me to predict us to finish. I feel very nervous going into this season, mainly because I know that Wenger is still to buy and I have no idea who that person will be. Last year I was cheerleading for Quaresma - well, we've bought Nasri and he looks to have a fair bit of ability. The new need is for a player to replace Flamini and partner Fabregas, and the list of requirements for this position is as long as my arm.

Nevertheless, Arsenal have a first XI that is the equal of any team in the country's. Almunia is a solid keeper who makes very few mistakes. We have the best pair of full-backs in the country in Clichy and Sagna. Gallas and Toure are excellent defenders although I feel that we're missing a towering defensive enforcer to play against teams who both use the long ball and have a domineering striker to control it. See Drogba, who always does well against us, and Crouch, who sometimes does and sometimes doesn't. In midfield we have the best central midfielder in the country (Fabregas) and a good partner for him who is admittedly yet to be named. Without one we are weak in the middle and will struggle to make 3rd, although a Champions League spot will never be in question. Neither Diaby nor Denilson kicked on last season while Ramsey, at the age of 17, is too green for the Premier League. Give him a year though, looks to have great potential. On the flanks Nasri and Walcott should be the starters, the former of which looks good (on the evidence of one game). Rosicky is a non-factor, he'll never stay fit. As for Walcott, he's a form and confidence player right now and needs a long run in the first team for both his sake and ours.
As for our alternative on the right flank:

Eboue. What is there to say about Eboue? He’s quite possibly the most unpopular player ever to play in an Arsenal shirt (at least whilst he’s still wearing it). Opinion on Eboue is divided; some Arsenal fans want him sold off immediately, others want him beaten up a bit first and then sold. I've yet to meet anyone recently who has a good word to say about him. His time had come at the Spurs game at the Grove; at one point, Robbie Keane brushed past him and Eboue took the opportunity to roll around on the ground as though shot. Keane wandered over to him to berate his gamesmanship, and Arsenal fans started shouting at Keane to give Eboue "a shoeing", "a kicking", and I heard one bloke shout "kick the diving ****!".

Up front Emmanuel Adebayor torments defenders (see John Terry, Rio Ferdinand) and creates countless chances but lacks the clinical goal-scoring prowess of a Torres or a Drogba. But those are not the players we should be comparing him with – he is our Tevez, our Robbie Keane in a team where Robin Van Persie is supposed to be the main goalscorer – he’s certainly clinical enough. If Van Persie can stay fit then we will have a pair of strikers as good as any other in the Premier League.

A team of Almunia; Sagna, Gallas, Toure, Clichy; Walcott, Fabregas, [Someone], Nasri; Adebayor, Van Persie is as good as any other team in the league. We don’t have any proven depth beyond this team but if we can keep it together we can win the league.

4th – Liverpool – another season, another 4th-placed finish. Until Liverpool buy some wide players they will never challenge for the title. Yes, Torres will score goals but he did that last season anyway. What has really changed with Liverpool? They remain incapable of contesting ‘Big 4’ matches and until they start winning those (which they’ve never even looked like doing under Rafa) then they have no chance of even making the top 2.

5th – Everton – everyone is saying that Villa will finish 5th but I’m not sure that they’re able to grind out games in the way that Everton can. Everton have Yakubu, a one-man battering ram who can win a grubby winter slugfest with one power move through the opposition defence. Carew won’t do that for Villa and that’s why I’m putting Everton above them.

6th – Aston Villa – it should be obvious that I see this as a very close contest between Everton and Villa for 5th place. O’Neill has got Villa playing a system that they are comfortable in, using each player’s talents in the right way and providing outlets to score goals no matter what the situation. The biggest question is over the defence which looks very inexperienced even if competent on paper. Cuellar is highly touted but he’ll probably just be another Boumsong.

7th – Portsmouth – the attack improves but the defence gets weaker. Campbell is a year older and a little slower while Kaboul didn’t acquit himself especially well at Spurs. However, the midfield remains both strong and creative with Diarra, Diop and Krancjar all good players. Up front the team is a hell of a lot stronger with Defoe and Crouch a promising combination. The squad depth isn’t great in the offensive areas but Redknapp knows what he’s doing. Pompey will sneak into Europe because both cup competitions will be won by the Big 4.

8th – Tottenham – an interesting summer for them. Lots of spending but quite a few sales as well to finance that spending. In fact, I believe that the cumulative effect of their summer transfers is to make them weaker not stronger. Last season my criticism of them was that their midfield was puny and couldn’t win any tough battles – there was no anchorman to release the midfield talents going forward. They’ve spent on the midfield heavily but who have they bought – Modric (5’8”), Dos Santos (5’8”) and Bentley (5’9”). All of them are lightweights. To name a few other Spurs midfielders, Jenas (5’11” and useless against competent teams), Zokora (5’11” and hugely overrated by Spurs fans) and Aaron Lennon (5’5”). In fact, the only useful midfielder in physical games in Tom Huddlestone (6’3”) who I rate very highly – Ramos made him lose a couple of stones and his form skyrocketed in the second half of last season. But here’s the clincher – he won’t make the first team when everyone’s fit. That midfield is going to be Modric – Jenas – Dos Santos – Bentley. How does that work? You can kick the shit out of that midfield, if they get more than two points against Portsmouth I’ll be amazed.

Up front Keane, Spurs’ most valuable striker, has been sold. Bad move, he was a tremendous foil for Berbatov and could score every type of goal. The ‘foil for Berbatov’ skill, however, isn’t going to matter anyway since he should be off to Man United. Darren Bent? Don’t make me laugh. The concept of him as a lone striker should deeply concern any sane Tottenham fans.

The first-choice defence is a good one (Hutton – King – Woodgate – Bale) but since the four of them have no chance of ever playing together it really doesn’t help. Gunter’s probably ok as backup for Bale while Gilberto can replace Hutton, but Dawson is a terrible central defender and I have no idea who would play alongside him if both King and Woodgate were out. Thank goodness there’s no chance of that happening...

9th – Manchester City – I thought that I had Man City all figured out. When making my predictions last season I had never heard of any of their players, I had no idea how Sven would play them and I didn’t know whether or not they’d be any good. Well, we answered all of those questions as the season went on...but now Sven’s left, the owner’s got no money and Hughes is apoplectic with rage at how ****ed up the club is. There was a big hole at striker (and Bojinov’s new injury is incredibly cruel), leaving only Jo may be good, may not. No idea. Benjani is still around, of course. Hughes will have to play two up front though, otherwise City just won’t score any goals now that everyone’s got used to Elano.

10th – Sunderland – Gordon; Chimbonda, Ferdinand, Nosworthy, Bardsley; Malbranque, Tainio, Reid, Richardson; Diouf, Healy. Anton Ferdinand is a widely-predicted guess, in case he doesn’t sign. This is a top 10 team under Keane’s management, considering how they performed last season. Moreover, there’ll be yet more signings in January – it almost goes without saying. Out all of my predictions this is my biggest punt, but I think they’ll make the top 10.

11th – Blackburn Rovers – I’m not sure that they’ve got stronger – in fact, I think they’ve weakened with the sale of Bentley. Paul Robinson is not as good a keeper as Brad Friedel either – in fact he’s much much worse. He also can’t come close to Friedel in marshalling/inspiring a defence, so they’ll be weaker in that area as well. I think that Santa Cruz and McCarthy will both stay at the club, and with Derbyshire as backup they should be pretty strong in the striker department. Everyone expects them to buy with the money generated from the sale of Bentley and if they buy the right players (e.g. a winger to partner Pederson) then they’ll do just fine. I do believe that it’s Everton/Villa/Portsmouth/Spurs and then the rest, though.

12th – Newcastle United – what a club. Honestly. What a club. There’s no team that quite ****s things up for itself so often and so hilariously like Newcastle United. Sacking Allardyce, appointing Keegan, the entire Joey ****ing Barton situation, for gods sake WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY!!!!!!!! Football-wise, Coloccini is fantastic, Milner is productive and Newcastle have the strikers to score goals. Jonás Gutiérrez has started the season well and Guthrie is a good signing. But I’m putting them 11th because someone will go wrong. I don’t know what, I don’t know when, but they won’t make the top 10.

13th – West Ham United – West Ham have two teams. One plays on the grassy pitch outside, the other sits at home recovering from injuries. They have a lovely squad on paper despite some silly spending in the early days of the Icelandic consortium (Ljungberg). How about this first XI: Green; Neill, Upson, Gabbidon (assuming Ferdinand leaves), McCartney; Faubert, Parker, Noble, Dyer; Ashton, Bellamy. If they were all together and on form then this team would be a UEFA Cup-standard team. But West Ham isn’t a lucky club at the moment – perhaps it’s karma, although I’ve never been a West Ham hater unlike the drooling masses (or so it seems). Oh well. West Ham just won’t make it into the top half of the season this year since half of their first eleven won’t be fit – in particular Dyer and Bellamy.

14th – Fulham – so Al Fayed has finally decided to break out his chequebook. I wonder how Chris Coleman feels looking back on his time at Fulham, running a tight ship with no money coming from the owner, and comparing that to the amount of cash thrown around by Sanchez and Hodgson. Presuming that Bullard stays fit this team is good enough to stay up, although I’m still not a believer in Andy Johnson. There’s not much in the way of squad depth, unsurprisingly, but if the team can hold itself together then they’ll do just fine. There is pretty much a line between West
Ham and Fulham – the former of the two will be fine, the latter will just be trying to steer clear of relegation.

15th – Middlesborough – I would love to see them relegated but the other clubs are so weak that I don’t really have much choice. I don’t think Southgate is a particularly great manager, but he has a good chairman who won’t sack him unless they spend some serious time in the relegation zone. That defence really does concern me though: a new young goalkeeper replacing the experienced Schwartzer, no leader of the young defence, no-one with tremendous potency up front. If Downing gets injured they really are ****ed with no credible strikers to speak of.

16th – Wigan Athletic – choosing between Bolton and Wigan here is pretty much an impossibility, the two teams are practically identical. But if Emile Heskey can stay fit they will always have a chance of scoring goals. He can bully defenders with his size and that will win them games. I don’t see them turning over top 10 clubs at all this season, but they’ve got enough to beat the clubs in the bottom 10. Not too dissimilar to Middlesborough, actually. Wigan also have some creative players in their midfield (Palacios, De Ridder) and if they can each contribute in five games a season then Wigan will stay up.

17th – Bolton Wanderers – nothing especially qualifies Bolton to stay up other than that they have a squad that is more experienced, in particular in the Premier League, than the players at WBA/Stoke/Hull. They will grind out enough points to stay up, it won’t be pretty and no-one will enjoy it but this is where they’ll finish. The relegation battle won’t go to the last day of the season though, I think there’s going to be a fair-sized gap between 17th and 18th place.

18th – West Bromwich Albion – West Brom were crippled as soon as Kevin Phillips left the club. He was their top scorer last season with 22 league goals in 35 games, an excellent record, but he’s not been replaced and that means relegation. I think I’d be incredibly despondent if I was a West Brom fan – no real chance of staying up yet so much better than their main Championship rivals. I realise that the Chairman tried to get new investors in but you have to ask the question – why did he fail? If Derby County could get in new owners last season I’m sure that there must have been some interest floating around. I would genuinely like to predict that they would stay up, but they’re attempting to play football this year and we saw what happened to Birmingham City last year when they tried that.

19th – Stoke City – one of those teams that simply hoofs it long, which works in the Championship but not in the Premier League. With that style they won’t get anywhere. Seem to have recruited a fair few Premier League cast-offs but none of them are good enough to win games by themselves. Dave Kitson is a solid player, for example, but he thrives on supply from midfield (like he did at Reading under Sidwell). Most of his goals will probably be from Rory Delap’s long throws....the stuff of legend.

20th – Hull City – even fewer reinforcements than Stoke. No chance of staying up, I can’t even see anyone in their squad who might make a name for themselves. Barmby maybe? Always had a lot of time for him. But everyone knows they’re going down, like Derby last year they don’t even intend to make a fight of it.


Final Table

1.  Chelsea
2.  Manchester United
3.  Arsenal
4.  Liverpool
5.  Everton
6.  Aston Villa
7.  Portsmouth
8.  Tottenham
9.  Manchester City
10. Sunderland
11. Blackburn Rovers
12. Newcastle United
13. West Ham United
14. Fulham
15. Middlesborough
16. Wigan Athletic
17. Bolton Wanderers
18. West Bromwich Albion
19. Stoke City
20. Hull City