Life has a funny way of kicking you in the nuts.
I'll backtrack first.
I had a job interview in Jersey (where I live) about 4 weeks ago, for a teaching post. It was perfect, the school is brilliant, the facilities are brilliant, the staff and pupils are brilliant. Unfortunately the post was odd (they wanted 2 people, who could teach a combination of English, Business Studies, Law, Psychology, or PE - ideally 2 of those listed - I could only teach Business), and I didn't get the job.
The school I was at is mixed, with 14-18 year olds there.
I was working at the cinema again in the holidays, and met this girl working there. She was really pretty, which was then I first noticed her (how shallow).
I was working with her a bit selling tickets, and we flirted and got on really well. I got to the point of fancying her, when she dropped into the conversation that she was 16 (17 in June).
I'm 22.
The best bit? She goes to the school I applied for.
Anyway, we were all out last Wednesday on a kind of work-do thing. And I ended up snogging her for the entire night, and have texted her a bit since. We decided not to pursue anything because of the age difference, and because I was going to be in Exeter for the next 2.5 months.
I looked on the school's website today out of interest.
They're advertising for a Business Studies teacher (purely business studies this time) there. Last time I applied, noone else was going for Business Studies.
So my problem. I really really want this job.
That girl would be AT the school, as in a pupil in year 13, while I'd be a teacher. I wouldn't be teaching her, thankfully (she doesn't do any of my specialist subjects), but still.
FFS.
Why did I go near her?
Also it worries me a little. If I succumb that easily, what's to stop me doing it again while working as a teacher? Jersey is kind of small - there are about 10 clubs, but only 2-3 worth going to. So it's pretty much impossible NOT to bump into a pupil if I went out. That'd ruin my career.
Augh.
I'll apply anyway probably. I know it was just a stupid snog, but it still worried me inside about what might happen, should I see her in the corridor, or her friends might look at me in a funny way as the "teacher who pulls students"
Dammit.