[sigrid]

I recognise some of the things you mention. I even decided a long time ago to work on it as it bothered me a lot. I found out i cared way too much about how other ppl think of me, and would go very far to make sure ppl like me, so if i would think something of wich i was sure a certain person wouldnot agree with, id keep it from that person, tho i would share it with ppl who i knew would agree...am i making sence?
It comes down to living up to ppl's expectations. You seem to want to fit in to the picture the ppl around you have of you, and wont show any things about yourself that dont fit in. In the end its no enuff tho, its living a lie almost.
And i found out that first of all my thoughts about HOW ppl would react was not always accurate. And second, if indeed ppl react weird or so, you shouldnot be changing how you act to them, but you should change what it does to you if they dont react how you want it. You should be YOU. If it bothers you that ppl think different about you if they truly know you, then chanc THAT. Make it not bother you no longer, and feel free to be who you are. It doesnot really matter what caused it, it being your childhood or upbringing , its how you deal with it now and in the future , what matters.