http://flag.blackened.net/revolt/talks/fascism.html
or
http://www.hurtyoubad.com/
Get a hobby that gives you a kick, something to make you feel alive. No matter if its painting trains in a CCTV heavy yard with only guarddogs and barbedwire for company, stealing for fun (and giving to the poor ofc) or making music for cellphones, as long as you get that little spice that makes life worth it its cool.
I would recomend graffiti, or if youre more interested in art, streetart. Great fun, lots of challenges, nothing is simmilar, hard to master and highly doabale while under heavy influence