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Originally Posted by Squidly
Yes, kids need a set of boundaries early on, but not to the point where they cannot develop either. I lived under a strict rock for the first fair years of my life... and guess what: I have problems socializing decently at parties, I tend to not be able to mingle well with random people I don't know... the list goes on in that department. Why? because I had strict restrictions placed on me all the way till 17. Do your kids a favor and allow them at least some shred of decision-making for themselves some day.
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I never said that there were not any grey areas. In fact the grey seems to me to be the majority of the time. What I am saying is that in some areas kids need firm boundaries. Here is an example:
Kid says to parent: "Can I pee on the floor?"
1. Parent with strong boundaries replies: "NO!, you CANNOT PEE on the FLOOR."
2. Parent encouraging decision making skills: "Do you think the floor is the appropriate place for your pee to go?"
Result of #1: Kid knows that peeing on the floor is not correct.
Result of #2: Kid unsure about where the pee should go.
If kids think that something is only bad some of the time they may also generalize other things as well.
Don't be a victim. Don't blame your parents for every flaw you think you have. The only thing keeping you from doing what you want is you. It's all smoke and mirrors to start blaming anything other than ourselves for why we are not what we want to be.