help with talking to people i don't know
 

I made a thread awhile back about becoming gibberish when talking to people despite being able to 'write' quite well. Its sill happening and its kinda fustrating me, its like stuttering but not quite, the only way i can describe it is i become chav/ruudboy/townieish and start speaking uneloquently, im fine with presentations and im fine with giving speeches (with practise), but when faced with an interview type sceneario my mind starts formulating a responce but it can't 'comprehend' all the ideas i want to get across in time, my mouth just gets bits of this and starts sampling at random intervals so i sound idiotic - like im having unrelated thoughts. I know that if i had the chance to sit and think about it for abit id come up with something that was ok (which is why im fine with presentations/speeches/writing reports).

But when put on the spot (either in person or on the phone) i just can't get my brain to formulate a responce after considering the situation quickly enough, i end up sounding a bit like this

'yeah wot i uhm well i done this yeah that was good and i did it uhm im not too fussed...wot'

:(

Re: help with talking to people i don't know
 

Language is about a complex a process as any humans undertake. There are some prevailing ideas out there by anthropologist that the structure of the brain and the evolution of our biology and culture are all tremendously intertwined with language and language structure. We use language-like-syntax in art, mathmatics, architecture, you name it.

Because language is such a complex thing, there's more to it than just what you can control. Speach impediments like stuttering are visible in deaf people who use hand signals to talk because 'stuttering' in many cases isn't a defect in the mouth or the jaw or lips or anything - it is a 'fluke' (not really) in the brain to put it very generally. People can stutter with their hands.

How this relates to you is that, language being as complex as it is, there's really easy simple way to pinpoint what your issue may be. It could be behavioral, it could just that you're nervous and need to I guess 'put yourself out there' more often and become comfortable speaking with people. I don't know.

Maybe you're just being unfair with yourself and to others you might actually seem articulate. It's hard to be honest with self-critism, I think so at least.

EDIT: Also in interviews, or in presentations when I start muttering, if that's what you're doing - Kind of a ah I got lost in thoughts kind of thing - I just start talking about something I know (that's relevant), and that seems to lead me to focus more.

Re: help with talking to people i don't know
 

Agreeing with s|k, self-criticism is hard. Does other people share those views of you? Being put on the spot and forced to say somethiing insightfull and relevant right there is hard for anybody.

Other than that, as far as interviews go atleast, try shutting up until you know what to say :-)

Re: help with talking to people i don't know
 

Ive found the best way to be the shit at interviews and the like is to say all the things you think you shouldnt.

"Well, the wages are shite but im up for it regardless."

"Dont worry. Ive dealt with the public at their most public"

"Most of the stuff on that CV is made up, so you'll have to take my word for the fact im active instead of quizzing me about orienteering"

3 statements ive used, 2 for tesco, one for threshers. offered both jobs

Re: help with talking to people i don't know
 

Maybe you should run for president of the United States.

Re: help with talking to people i don't know
 

I don't believe you're from Texas.

Re: help with talking to people i don't know
 

I voted for Gore, but I support my commander in chief and my country.

I have sworn this oath, and one similiar to it, many times in the last 17 years.

I, Troy Darr, do solemnly swear that I will support and defend the Constitution of the United States against all enemies, foreign and domestic; that I will bear true faith and allegiance to the same; that I take this obligation freely, without any mental reservation or purpose of evasion; and that I will well and faithfully discharge the duties of the office on which I am about to enter. So help me God.

Go to hell, Sik. Look up my name. You will find me among the leaders of the U.S. government.

edit: I was born in Parkland Memorial Hospital in Dallas and lived in the Dallas area for 22 of my first 23 years. George Bush was born in Connecticut.

Re: help with talking to people i don't know
 

Respect for being open about your issue. To be honest - I used to suck at big interviews myself, often knowing what to say, but not being able to formulate the words properly.

I found that my problem was caused by the need to just "say something" rather than leave a stupid silence.

However, the more interviews I did, the better I got, and I found that taking a second or two to really think about what you are going to say works wonders. Even making a face which shows you are actively thinking, then sighing, or taking a sip of water buys you time - and what seems like an eternity of thinking, is just a routine split second to an interviewer.

Try it out!
________
pot news

Re: help with talking to people i don't know
 

i have misjdged you.

forgive me.

(oh and get rid of those damned flaming smilies)

Re: help with talking to people i don't know
 

I like how you followed that 'so help me god' with blasphemy. You're the prototype of an American christian! Even if you're not christian.

As if that were something to brag about right now...thanks for leading us! Really great job! Yay! Oh wait, you're 'among' them, like the guy holding open the door or something....

Oh and my initial comment directed at you was in a joking manner, totally not meant to be offensive.

Re: help with talking to people i don't know
 

Sprinkle in a lightning bolt and a mongchop or two. That shoud save you from further embarrassment.

Take a deep breath for starters. Focus on something other than your discomfort. They can wait a second or two while you think an answer through. Although, I must say that they sample you gave is better than a lot I have heard.

Re: help with talking to people i don't know
 

When I wrote go to hell, I did not mean to be offensive. I thought a Marine would take that as a standard comeback when he had purposefully, although as a joke, insulted someone. I've known a few Marines in my time. You are a U.S. Marine right?

I am about halfway between the doorman and the CINC. :p