Opinions Please
 

OK it's a Saturday night and I'm bored. this afternoon I wrote a little riff and I'm having trouble deciding how to use it. I've recorded two versions; first with the riff as the bass line; the second with the riff on the guitar.

I knocked this up quickly to help me decide, but it hasn't really helped.

I doubt I'll get many responses tonight but if anone's out there, let me know which version you prefer.

the first version is the first 39 seconds, the second version follows after the brief pause.

Edit: I've redone the guitar for the first bit, retuned the guitar and shifted it up a bit.

Re: Opinions Please
 

of the two, i prefer #2 ( and had decided on this one within the first few seconds of hearing it )
Its got a nice intro style to it imo

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The chords on the first one sound just not quite right.

It might be some dodgy clash between the roots & melody / harmony notes but there is defiantly something sounding not quite right on my ear.

The second one worked better harmonically for me but was quite forgettable rhythmically. I liked the way the rhythms of the first one played off each other in a more dysfunctional way.

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and remember ladies and gentlemen that Marv likes to rawk

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that might be a simple problem of being slightly out of tune. I'll probably redo the guitar tomorrow.

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I agree with the others, I think the bass version doesn't work that great together with the guitar part you put over it, while the guitar version fits that simple bass line and so just sounds better.

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Yeah I'm agreeing with Marv here on just about every point.

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the second is much better and sounds like it could make quite a good song

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The first one I think has two problems, it does indeed sound like its slightly out of tune, but the other is that the bass & guitar seem to share the same tonal range and clash with each other. I would drop the bass an octave or two and see how that works.

The second one is fine though, and has a Paranoid Android like riff.

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I've redone the guitar for the first bit. Retuned and shifted it up a bit.

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Is the new version just the bass guitar on its own this time? Doesn't sound like the original but I've got nothing to compare it with.

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Hmm, no idea how that happened. Anyway it's sorted now.

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btw, doe anyone know of a good program to synth string instruments?

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The second version is still better

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Some of the ascending bass runs on the first one still don't sound quite right harmonically. Apart from that it sounds better.

The second one sounds good, but is still fairly unimaginative rhythmically. I think that the bass line is the main culprit here, but the melody rhythm could use a bit more syncopation to bring it out a little more.

Oh and you can hear at the very end where you hit the mic or there is some interferences on the signal :p

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The second one is pretty good.

The first one is a travesty and rather than trying to fix it you should ditch it and move on.

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Didn't get a chance to hear the revised version.

Puting the guitar riff a pitch higher instead of lowering the bassline seems to have made it sound a little like a sitar, gives it a kinda middle-eastern tint.

Second one is nice and fluent, but still sounds too much like radiohead/muse (not surprising I guess since the latter is listed as an Influence).

I still have hope for the first, I think later I might attempt to play with the motif myself and see if i can extend the concept.

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I need to take a bit of a break from it as I can't find anywhere to take version 2 so I've ended up with a 3 minute version with the exact same constant bass line, removing the guitar for the verse (might try and put something there later) and having interludes of cello (shoud I find a way to make some).

I'll have a look at version 1 at a later date and I'll probably make a version combining the both of them into one song. If I end up with only three versions of this song then I'll be happy.

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Well I'm sending off my laptop charger tomorrow to get a replacement one for free so my laptop (and therefore the internet also) shall be out of use.

With this in mind I'm upload ing a substandard quality version for you to get the general idea. the playing is terrible and I've not bothered to fix it as I've spent the afternoon messing about with string parts.

Link is same as the first one.

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I've been working today. Not being paid, but still working. I was hoping to hear about a job interview I went on last week but I've heard nothing so I'm guessing I've not got it. I'm consoling myself with music.

Stop being mean to me! :crymeariver: