Dirty Secrets
 

I find that i now regularly water my wine :(

It is most curious but i do seem to prefer it.

It all started really in 2001 when i started adding water to my whisky. i began with soda water but then moved on to just plain tepid water. then lady r confessed that for many years she had watered her wine (in private of course).

I find with whites it can take off the acid edge and with reds it dilutes the tannins and prevents a headache.

now a part of this is to do with the fact that I have an appalling stomach which produces far too much acid. my blood family have our own congenital defect of the digestive tract. (oh what it is to be famous foe something! ha! [too much in breeding i hear you cry]).

but where shall this maddness end? if i am ever found adding water to champagne i want to be shot. i feel it would be kinder.

now. you may not think that this sounds like a very dirty secret. how can i explain except to say that we all come from different cultures and this is not a fact about me that i would want 'generally known' amongst my peer group. indeed it could cause much ridicule at my expense.

fortunately no one in my peer group thinks of a computer as anything other than a pretend television connected to an off white box and of course "I never find the time to watch television darling", so i am safe.

I wondered if any of you had similar dark secrets that might seem very trivial but in fact mean the world to you.

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I do sometimes wonder how you find a pier group such as the one you have. I thought society had crumbled into small groups of lost individuals desperatly grappling at popular culture to give them a reason to exist.

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The ancients mixed wine with water. It's done in The Iliad and in The Odyssey. It's not so bad a thing. Use that as a defense if you're ever caught.

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yes.
i know you think that. it is so terribly sad. it is true that we have become more insular, more isolated, more introverted. but i am sure that you could find us.

you might need to make a few changes to your bean obsessed value sytem though ...

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I've killed people.

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I once voted for a democrat.

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oh but darling you know that i feel that you ought to do this more often.

not that i like the democrats. self serving ego maniacs as far as i can tell. but the republicans? i mean honestly. they're like a sort of cult, an organisation based upon the principle that being selfish is 'ok'. :(

where is noblesse oblige?

EDIT: having taken the time to study american culture I have only found only one proponent of anything that even vaguely represents noblesse oblige. I am very sad to say that is your Spiderman from your comic books.

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non-shocker tbh, after that chicken-caviar-dinner thread.

"you can't turn shit into butter" (Hans Meyer)

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i'll give you fifty beans if you let me in!

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how many beans make five?

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or into a good poster it seems.

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err....


fancy going to the bar tomorrow?

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kay, what time?
I shall wear my tacky mushroom t-shirt so you can point and laugh.

Yahwe minussed me :(

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Well first of all you go to a really big city. Then you find out in which direction the sea is and walk down to the local port :(

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And there I was going to make a Brighton joke...

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about half 8?

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I own all four Smiths albums. And consider them 'essential listening'. :(

Other than that I am pretty much a kleptomaniac.

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I add water to coke, does that count?

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I add water to rice.

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Fixed.

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I don't have any secrets like this that I can think of off-hand. :(

Perhaps this is related to the fact that most people I know would be unsurprised if I urinated in my beverages before consuming them, let alone watering them down.

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you may have missed the point...

I was sugesting that these 'secrets' were subjective. so one which you might have is that secretly you thought capitalism was ok or secretly you thought that drugs are bad or secretly you always wanted staff etc.

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Of course. But I can't think of anything even like that since I can't think of any area where people's (low) expectations of me differ from reality.

However I did meet a girl last night who was both slightly overweight and...well, with fake hair (that ghastly blue stuff goffs seem to like). I was considering going on a date with her. If I did that it would certainly be in secret. Because of the shame and that.

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We have no noblesse so who is there to oblige?

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I have secrets I will never tell anyone.

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i feel innocent :o

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Well plenty of men wear make-up, the women clothes bit I don't understand. I think women put far too much effort in wearing clothes, from selection to actually wearing things that look uncomfortable. I just wear clothes because if I walk outside naked they'll arrest me. It's really just an uncomfortable necessity. At home I'm frequently nude. I live in the desert so nude really is the most comfortable fashion.

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What is it with you and fat girls recently?
was this one in a corset as well?

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I don't drink. People (including most of my friends) have tried to get me to drink at some stage. I usually resist with ease.

However, I know that if a girl, whom I find charming, sits down on my lap with a bottle of white whine and two glasses.... and asks nicely if I would like to have "just one glass" with her and smiled and looked into my eyes... I would probably end up drinking as many glasses as she wanted.

So I confess. Even hardcore maoists who long for the days of classwar have they're weak spots.

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Well obviously if girls with supermodel figures came up to me and let me know in no uncertain terms that I could effectively do whatever I like to them without fear of them going to the police then I'll be well up for it. Unfortunately the few offers I seem to get on that score seem to be from women who are of slightly "ample" proportions.

I think so.

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I have never seen the film 'Labyrinth' starring David Bowie. Also Flash Gordon is boring and inferior to Masters of the Universe.

I can only eat steak by pouring more sauce over it than there is meat. All beer tastes crap.

These would disgust my friends. It also might give you some idea as to how I waste my life.

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fancy coming out on a thursday night in croydon? it's a decent night and the girls are very nice :)

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Grammar?

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I once stole a plastic clock which had bite marks in it. Or, at least, on the hands. It gave me a slight thrill as I made my getaway with it into the hothouse.

I returned it after feeling guilty. And realising that it was a useless piece of crap.

The whole incident made me realise I'm a good person.

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Oh, and women over a certain weight should be banned from wearing corsets. Or at least, banned from wearing them until they can figure out a way to keep their massive, flabby, aged tits actually in the corset properly.

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you know what people are going to misread that as, don't you? (I did)

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I wouldn't steal dildos. I only do timepieces. And you should wash your mind out with soap.

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I fist leprechauns.

I cant help it, I just love seeing their little faces grimacing on the end of my arms as I walk around pretending they are mittens.

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I misread it as that too :\

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I have a stocking fetish that my girlfriend is tired of. :(

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stretching them over her head so you can pretend she's a bank robber?

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Yes, she thinks it is the cause of her spots. :rolleyes:

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M&S Sell a drink which is a wine (white i think, might be a red) mixed with spring water and fruit puree that I enjoy from time to time.
The alcohol content is lower , sadly, but I find i enjoy it more.

It's nice to know i'm not the only one that gets undesirable after effects from drinking too much red wine.

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my local sells a drink which is half beer half water for almost £2.50 per pint!

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shandy ?