dumbest injury
 

Last night i stabbed myself in the forhead with a kitchen knife,

Anyone who can beat that for stupidity wins a prize.


it bled like nothing i have known and when it finally sealed the blood just built up underneath and then burst to run all down my face again.
Has healed up ok today, it looks very small unless you are close and can see the edges folding in.

DONT CUT THICK CABLE TIES HOLDING RUGS TOGETHER WITH A CARVING KNIFE ?!?!?!

Re: dumbest injury
 

that sounds like it was (n't) fun.

Re: dumbest injury
 

if you're posting if can't have been that sucessful :(

Re: dumbest injury
 

i guess you were pulling the knife with the sharp end towards your face

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You're lucky it didnt go into your eye.

Sigh.

Women and DIY.

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well at least he didnt offer to kiss it better

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Once while walking through canal street in Manchester, somewhat drunk, i caught the clips on my boots together in the of the road and fell headfirst into curb, knocking myself out. To top it all, when i woke up in the morning i had forgotton pretty much everything that happened, so my mate who was with me told me i was abusive to a group of lesbians, who then beat me up. Excellent.

Re: dumbest injury
 

we demand a more entertaining collective noun

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a muff of lesbians?

Re: dumbest injury
 

gaggle?

Re: dumbest injury
 

that'll do :up:

Re: dumbest injury
 

sorry, wasn't ignoring yours, just didn't notice :(

I was thinking along similar lines; a munch, a tease, perhaps a tongue...

A collective noun website suggests a 'tough' btw

just for you ;)

Re: dumbest injury
 

I walk into doors

Re: dumbest injury
 

I wish my lawn was Madi so it would cut itself.

Re: dumbest injury
 

Hmmm.


A butch of lesbians? Cos its like, a play on 'batch', innit?

Re: dumbest injury
 

A guy in my highschool class (he's a bit 'slow') fell asleep when making breakfast. He slept standing(!) and woke up with a cut in his stomach.

Dumb injuries never happened to me I think. Maybe cutting off 1 cm^3 of skin on my thumb when cutting cheese? :o

Re: dumbest injury
 

Re: dumbest injury
 

I'm quite surprised that there is actually a term for that.

My stupidest by far was stapling my thumb. The bottom of the top end of the stapler looked like it was falling out so I decided to push it in. Thought I was a long way from where the staples come out but a few seconds later there was one stuck in my thumb :(

Re: dumbest injury
 

i once sliced my thumb open whilst opening a tin of beans and had to have 2 stitches in it :(

Re: dumbest injury
 

but where they good beans?

Re: dumbest injury
 

I'm not sure where the good beans come from, I'll have to find out.

Re: dumbest injury
 

to be honest, i think they ended up getting thrown out, due to the fact that i had to walk to hospital and then wait for an hour to get stitches and then felt sick due to the pain of the stitches being put in (which hurt a hell of a lot worse than the cut did) so didnt end up eating anything :(


other stupid injuries i have caused myself include: cutting my eye open with a dinner plate and having to have butterfly stitches across my eyebrow
punching a door and fracturing my hand (best known by my friend for the line i said just before 'look this door is only plywood, i bet i could put my hand through it' turned out it was solid wood, ho hum)
kicking a lampost with my steel toed docs on and managing to cut my foot open on the inside lip of the steel cap
nearly knocking myself out by bodychecking a trolley bay whilst playing roller hockey
although it cant really be called an accident, touching an electric fence was also a bad idea looking back on it

Re: dumbest injury
 

that is excellent, really made me laugh, worked much better than reading about other peoples injuries too :-)

and that is just where i am going to have the scar :-(

Re: dumbest injury
 

Once while ever so slightly pissed out my skull I walked into the frame of a road sign.

The council had removed the sign and forgot to put it back.

The frame caught me on the lower chest and momentum carried me forward and I ended up face down on the pavement with my feet caught up on the frame.

I had no injuries apart from a scraped nose that bled out of proportion to the small cut I had but looked a complete arse.

Re: dumbest injury
 

I hit a tree playing football.

(Real football not gay ass soccer.)

Re: dumbest injury
 

damn right!!!

Real men wear 2 inches of soft padding and a protective helmet as well as moisturise twice a day!

Re: dumbest injury
 

I move trees in front of terrible GD posters.

Re: dumbest injury
 

You mean rugby for girls ?

Re: dumbest injury
 

I wondered what would happen if I touched the glowing red things in the toaster with a fork when I was younger, then didn't quite believe I'd got electrocuted and tried it again.... :salute:

Re: dumbest injury
 

Really? I did that lots of times. Only thing that happened was that our house lost the electricity. As the devil I was I found it quite amusing fooling around like that as my parents had absolutely no clue why it happened :p

Re: dumbest injury
 

Actually it was two nights ago.

Two guys tried to mug me, one pulled out a knife. I legged it and kept running for a while.
Still running a little later I cliped both heels together and went smack hard into the ground.
I saved my face with my elbow, but I'm covered in massive friction burns and cuts. My leg doesn't work in one direction any more and my knee has swolen to twice its size.

I escaped being knifed and instead managed to fall over myself later and give myself more bleeding cuts and trauma than I've had in my entire life.

Re: dumbest injury
 

I once became curious as to what a flame smelled like. That was a little silly looking back on it. I also once, in an attempt to avoid my dog who was inconvineintly lying in an open doorwar, decided to jump over said dog. I forgot that the doorframe had a top section. There is still a huge dent in it in the shape of my forehead. Fun.

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Re: dumbest injury
 

During St. Paddy's Day celebrations the other night my friend and I were at a party. My mate was completely smashed, and had been running around hugging everyone and dancing feverishly. It was decided that everyone should go out to the bar, my friend, on the other hand, had other plans. He decided he should run a marathon which he bellowed out to everyone. He commenced to run out the door, and tripped directly in front of one of the waiting cabs. In a fit of rage at the cab who was in his way he punched the front bumper. He continued his marathon run down the road. Some time later we decide he had likely run far enough and found him unconscious on the side of the road. He had run straight into a phone pole. We dragged him back into the house. An inspection of his injuries include serious road rash on his shoulder, badly skinned knee, broken knuckle, black eye, huge lump/gash on his eyebrow, a chipped tooth, and a bad cut on the back of his ear. I had a fit of laughter when I realized what had happened. I am a bad person.

Re: dumbest injury
 

I stapled my two thumbs together once.

Re: dumbest injury
 

Just how did you manage to staple your thumbs together
Repeat w/ pictures plz.

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ITT I realise what a complete bunch of spacks populate GD.

I have no tales of walking into lamp-posts or cutting myself, I'm afraid. Maybe I have normal peripheral vision!

Re: dumbest injury
 

Sounds more like it was the phone pole that hit him;)

Re: dumbest injury
 

lol easy. this one time i was near an old person and I tripped and fell into them and crushed them and they died but they were sick and the sickness leaked out and got into my ear and now i have brain cancer.

Re: dumbest injury
 

I was rather young and in my grandparents study by myself. All I can remember was that there was only a little blood and it didn't hurt. I'm still confused to this day how I did it.

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I once tried to trow chocolate milk over someone but he blocked it and it splashed back all over me

And then he was like: "Hey dude, why are you trowing chocolate milk over yourself?"

Re: dumbest injury
 

When I was a kid, my granddad thought it'd be fun to tell me to put my thumb in the desk stapler and then press down. I trusted him, clearly, why would he lie about there being no OHMY****ING GOD THERE'S A SHARD OF ****ING METAL RIGHT THROUGH MY ****ING NAIL. OH, OH, OH IT HURTS.

Then another time I was eating sausage and mash and was playing with the mash and mistook my middle finger for a sausage and put a fork through the nail and there was so much blooooooooood but seriously I'm less of a dumbass now.

Re: dumbest injury
 

A couple of years a go (i was 14) me and a couple of mates were messing about atop some garages. I got down to go home for tea and one of my mates decided he was going to throw a 12ft piece of drainpipe at me (jagged end of course) And i decided to be a smart arse and side step it, only to step into it. It hit me next to my nose about an inch from my eye.
The only thing the hosptial did (after 3hrs of waiting) was but A butterfly stich on it.
all in all i was an inch from being blinding :D

Re: dumbest injury
 

Head cancer perhaps. BRAIN cancer? I'm not buying it. I've seen your posts.

Re: dumbest injury
 

I had too much chilli sauce one day... first time I had EVER tried it actually so I didn't know how much of it to put - normally when a restaraunt says something is hot, I find it to be mild. This sauce, freshly made scottish bonnet one, was HOT and I mean SCORCHING. I tried water, ice cubes even putting a frozen bag of food on my tongue.. did not work.

So I put my tongue on the freezer shelf... I didn't know at the time my father was defrosting it. After 2 seconds, it cooled and I tried to move my tongue. It got STUCK to it. I didn't think (I was panicking) so I just ripped my tongue off as it hurting and I was getting cold. I couldn't eat for 2 weeks - there was a giant patch on my tongue which was SORE and hurt everytime I drank water (which I was told would be wiser to drink mineral as opposed to tap) or talked. I had a slit down my tongue too which has never fully healed but luckily I can't feel the pain anymore :)

Re: dumbest injury
 

Don't forget the spandex too.

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I did something similar with an ink cartridge... I discovered that I could bite them and cause the end to burst, spraying ink forward. Unfortunately, the one time I tried to do it at someone, the wrong end burst, right into my mouth.....

Re: dumbest injury
 

I managed to pour hot coffe (as in boiling water instantcoffe hot) over my socks one time, beacause I did not notice that the cup had no handle and therefore managed to push it over when I tried to pick it up :(

It might not sound like a big deal, but the socks were to small and not naturall, so they just stuck to my foot. I managed to get very heavy burns, and it was the day I was going away on vacation. So I spent two weeks in Spain, uanble to bathe or go to the beach without shoes, as I was in danger of infection and had heavy pains :( :( :(

the coffe was not even for me. the moral is that kindness is overrated, and karma sucks

Re: dumbest injury
 

Some weeks ago I stabbed myself with the edge of a razor in my ballsack while shaving, it sucks to see your testical bleed :(

Didn't hurt though, didn't get in very deep.