Worried :( :( :(
 

Livejournal thread here we go!

I was told I was in CR (Complete Remission - ie: cancer is all gone) about a month ago.

As my form of cancer is extremely rare, they weren't entirely sure what to do as the next step. They could have blasted me with more chemo to reduce the chances of it coming back, but they weren't sure if it'd actually make a difference to the chances. So we agreed it wasn't worth doing (yes, WE agreed - the doctor made me decide what to do :( ).

Anyway.

So now I have "nothing" to do really (except for a stemcell harvest in the eventuality of it coming back and me needing a stemcell transplant). I just have to sit back and really really hope the cancer doesn't come back.

I've been told there's a 60% chance of it coming back, but this is based on "Mickey Mouse statistics" (the doctor's words) so it could be more or could be less. Noone knows.

This sitting back and waiting/hoping is harder than the chemo in a lot of ways though. At least with the chemo I knew where I stood - "I'm getting rid of cancer!". Now it's like I'm waiting for it to come back :(


The symptoms of it coming back will be signs of the following:
*My glands going up
*Me losing weight
*Me losing my appetite
*Me being more tired than usual
*Me having a repetitive cough

Now for the last 2-3 weeks I've had a cough and I've been so ****ing scared it's the cancer coming back. If it does come back it won't be straightforward chemo, they'll have to start bringing out the big guns (intensive chemo over a period of days, me being in hospital for weeks).

None of the other symptoms have come up (except maybe my glands, but I don't know what "normal" size is for them so I'm unsure there).

I mentioned it to the doctor and he was like : ohshit : so moved my scan date forward.

So tomorrow I have another PET scan (highly sensitive scan - I think there's only 6 of the scanning machines in the country or something).

I'll be getting the results in a week Wednesday.


I'm so scared. I really really want it to come up negative (ie: no sign of cancer).



I didn't mind people joking about it before, when I had it and I was dealing with it. Now, I'd rather people didn't. I don't want to tempt fate by taking the piss out of it.
I respect "cancer" very much and count myself incredibly lucky for having got rid of it with relative ease. Joking about it was fine to keep me in "high spirits" throughout the treatment (I did it too to stop myself from going into some kind of self-absorbed depression). Now though, I'd rather you guys didn't make jokes about it coming back (bald jokes etc I don't mind - just jokes about it coming back and similar).

Please :(

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A very good friend of mine has a 5 year old who's been fighting leukemia for a year now.

Cancer is a bitch. Good luck Tomkat.

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I never much liked the cancer jokes anyways. I am scared of cancer, and I don't even have it (I assume).

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Thats really shit :( Good luck with the scan TK, I'm sure you'll be fine. Cough could be anything from lowered immune system from the chemo, or even the after effects of the chemo (still) irritating you.

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Good Luck.

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Aye, good luck mate.

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Good luck with your scan (is it today?) and I hope everything's fine.

No jokes.

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Well this is sad news, very sad news. Lets hope that the cough has nothing to do with the cancer and you will actually be ok.

Good luck with the scan.

I'm sure we are all thinking for you.

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How long until you know that it wont come back? Or is 60% chance of recurring the rest of your life?

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You'll be in my thoughts a week wednesday.

Best of luck Tomkat - I hope all goes well for you :-)

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Tom, I really hope everything turns out well for you. Keep your head up.

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"60% chance of it coming back in the next 5 years"

But the chances of it coming back get smaller with each year, so after 2 years or so it's much less (don't have the figures).

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You'll probably outlive me. :P

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Sad to hear :(

Best of luck, Tomkat.

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Good luck mate

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Well, I had a friend with cancer, and he was given the same percentage.

He turned out ok, moved to india and found religion, so clearly you have nothing to worry about!

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Sure thing. Sorry if I made that other post last night after you had posted this thread, I only read this just now.



And the best of luck with your scan dear.

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I know more people who've survived cancer than who didn't. Good luck with it Tomkat, eventhough we don't know each other.

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God bless, mate.

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We`re rootin` for you.

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Shame to hear that TK, Good luck mate

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:(

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take care TK :)

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I'm hoping for the best.

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best of luck dude.
I hope you won that one =)

Please post how are you doing and all. Seems you have a community here worried for you :D

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/me hugs

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I'm not sure if you're trying to make me feel better in this post or not dude :(


But thanks everyone. Scan done now - just gotta wait for the results now!

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When does the result come back? I was all nervous opening this thread because I thought it would collapse the quantum probabilities and I was like "o shit, does that make it my fault then?"

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gl tom.

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you will be fine dude

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Wednesday!

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Good luck, keep the spirits up.

:)

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Hope you're well man.

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GL, hope everything's alright.

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Best of luck in the "not dying any time soon" stakes dude.

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Good luck Thomas :(

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I know that taking the concept of mind over matter to extremes can result in crappy spiritualism but i do firmly believe that regardless of circumstance your attitude to a given problem can greatly influence its outcome. Don't be afraid don't meekly accept your fate and be determined to be alive for as long as you want. :)

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Fingers crossed Tom.
Really hope all is ok (obviously), you've been through enough already without anything more.

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All the best - but anyway, you're not allowed to die, I just met you. People may think I did it or something.

:(

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Good luck mate, I'm sure everything will work out fine and that you're just being a little paranoid (understandably). For once let's root for paranoia! :D

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Goodluck Tom.

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Condolences.


Wait I mean good luck.

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best of luck fella

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I had blood squirted into my eye over the 4th of July weekend from a complete stranger, and I got really flipped out thinking maybe something had been transmitted. So after a week or two I finally got the courage to goto the doctors and get a test, then for the next week till the tests came back i kept flipping out and making it worse in my head. I kept going over all the different scenarios in my mind, what to tell family, friends, how long to live if it was bad. etc. Each one just got worse and worse.

Finally the doctor called and said I was fine, and the blood and piss tests came back negative. And he said that I was in the best shape of my life.

The point is that for the next week you're going to be worried, scared, and nervous. Don't let yourself make it worse for yourself by dwelling on it constantly. Find something to take your mind off of the test results.

Best of luck.

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whatte hell !?!

What kinda fourth of july parties you go to ! Blood does not just randomly quirts out of strangers ! :o :o
anyhow, i'd be crapping my pants too untill those results. Scary tbfh

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They were cutting brisket and ribs and his knife slipped rather badly across his wrist. I'm not entirely sure how it happened, only that blood squirted about 7 feet right into my eye.

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We are still allowed to make fun of QazokRogue5, I assume?

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it's mandatory

Hope all is well Tomkat, I'd hug you if you were nearby :|

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As I just said in IRC - Good luck mate. :)