The funny thing about cooking is...
 

That if you get it right people are genuinely impressed by it. With this in mind I invited a lady friend around for a nice roast dinner (this was the french bird btw)

So I went out and bought some gammon, potatoes, carrots, parsnips, onion, honey,mustard and gravy.

I prepared the gammon by washing it and then preparing a lovely honey and mustard sauce. This was pretty much 4 tea spoons of honey and 2 tea spoons of mustard and then mixed up, its a good consistency, its not too runny and not too thick. You pour the sauce of the joint and it sticks to it nicely, and half runs down the side of it. I then peeled the potatoes, carrots, parsnips and the onion.

Next I boiled the potatoes, carrots and parsnips. I bunged some oil in the oven and heated it up, once the veg was boiled i put them in the roasting tin with the gammon and put the boiling oil over the veg (to make it easier to roast) I kept about half of the potatoes and kept them in the pan and left them there.

Half an hour later she turned up with a bottle of wine and we chatted and had a drink. Now I was a bit nervous as normally when I cook a roast something somewhere will **** up, either the veg is undercooked or the meat is undercooked so it needs to stay in for longer, this is normally because I try and rush it when im cooking. With about 30 minutes left I glazed the meat again with the honey and mustard and checked the veg and meat was cooking ok.

The dinner was almost done so I made some mash potato, added some cheddar and mustard just to keep in with the gammon theme. With 5 minutes left finally I did some gravy and finally pulled it all out of the oven. I opened up another bottle of wine and brought the roasting tin with the meat and the veg to the table, along with the mash and gravy.

Her eyes were wide open and the site was nice as was the smell, but its the taste that counts and shes french so its double difficult to impress her. I tentaviely cut it and gave her the meat and veg etc. We ate it and she seemed impressed, she ate everything on her plate which is impressive for someone as thin as her and we then ate the cheescake she brought round.

After dinner finished the wine and had a few cigarettes, she then left but I got the kiss.

Anyway Im really into cooking and if I was to cook next time I think I would do homemade raviolli or maybe a nice fish dish like some fresh cod with cabbage and real ale.

The problem is I feel quite old. I like several genres of programs on tv but cooking problems are one of my favourite and the best has to be Saturday Kitchen on a sunday morning. Cooking is just one of those things which can be incredible simple but gives the wow factor. I also now love gardening, I think Im quite a practical guy and like doing things with my hands and seeing what the fruits of my labour are.

Anyway is anyone like me who enjoy cooking and gardening and is taking an increasing interest in these areas?

Re: The funny thing about cooking is...
 

there's a jamie oliver in all of us.

Re: The funny thing about cooking is...
 

http://pirate.planetarion.com/showth...ht=Yahwe+Gravy

I believe I can be accused of being similarly interested :)

I'm proud of you piglet

Re: The funny thing about cooking is...
 

Cooking is so rewarding and it tastes good and real gravy not granule gravy is a cut above the rest. Plus impressing the french with your cooking is always a bonus :)

Re: The funny thing about cooking is...
 

ah yes, i remember. the thread in which you stated how you believe gravy is a british invention.
and then there's also the thread in which you spoke about what your 'perfect dinner' would look like. chicken as main dish. brilliant, just brilliant.

Re: The funny thing about cooking is...
 

no there isn't.

(and some of us are starting to suspect that you were molested by chickens as a child ...)

Re: The funny thing about cooking is...
 

yes, there is.

Re: The funny thing about cooking is...
 

so (for those of us who can read english http://pirate.planetarion.com/showth...dinner+chicken)

no.

there isn't.

stop trolling you weird chicken hating dutchman.

Re: The funny thing about cooking is...
 

hahaha

Re: The funny thing about cooking is...
 

Sorry I read a pig thread with the word 'roasting' in it and couldn't stop laughing.

I'll read it anothe time.

Re: The funny thing about cooking is...
 

... on a spit

Re: The funny thing about cooking is...
 

hehe I just laughed reading my second post in that thread :)

Re: The funny thing about cooking is...
 

somebody had to ...

Re: The funny thing about cooking is...
 

I do that quite often reading old threads... it's always my own jokes I like best :(

(yours was funny too though <3 )

Re: The funny thing about cooking is...
 

I like cooking, and I'm reasonably good at it, but I generally just can't be bothered. I live with 6 other people, but cook for myself (everyone does, I'm not just being anti-social...), so there's really no incentive to do anything special. I make chilli, shephered's pie, steak and fish-things occasionally, but normally it's just meat/fish and pasta/rice/noodles/mash with some vegetables. I very rarely resort to microwave meals.
If I had someone to cook for ([emo]) I'd be tempted to be more experimental, but oh well :)

Re: The funny thing about cooking is...
 

Last year I did the majority of the cooking in my house and I loved it, everyone sat down and we made dinner an event, instead of just eating. I think thats what cooking and eating should be. It should be seen as a necesity (which it ofc is) it should be something enjoyable to do. I now live in a house with 5 other people but its on campus accomodation and only one other person is my friend so me and her cook for each other in general.

Re: The funny thing about cooking is...
 

I forced myself to cook since everybody in my household sucks at it, bar one, but he's so lazy he makes food probably once a month, and he never cooks vegetabales since he was beaten as a child when he refused to eat them. (having been a vegetarian for a period, I like vegetabales)
So, I went from a guy that could barely make a frozenpizza without burning it to becoming quite the chef, if I might be so bold. It's pretty fun, it's very rewarding, and it gets you much love from your friends.

Re: The funny thing about cooking is...
 

I just learnt how to make chicken tikka. That about sums up my skills, though I'm quite proud of myself. Beats pizza, which was my previous best.

Re: The funny thing about cooking is...
 

I am someone who cannot abide cooking. It is not the fact that I cannot do it.

Put simply, it's the time spent on it and waiting, when quite frankly, I'd rather do something else. I don't really care that much about food as long as it isn't horrible. To me it's just nourishment.

Re: The funny thing about cooking is...
 

I like meals that go ding.

Re: The funny thing about cooking is...
 

my favourite restaurant has the most absurd electronic noise maker whenever the door is opened (the gods themselves know not why)

anyhoo I have therefore dutifully christened it the 'ning ning'

Re: The funny thing about cooking is...
 

Now gammon is some sort of pig dish, correct?

This sounds sexual you pour sauce onto your pig joint. What else could it mean?

Now this part is very clear.

Again with the dirty talk.

When I was young I also liked to "cook" (wink, wink).

As to gardening, at my age the last thing I want to think about is about things being "planted."

Re: The funny thing about cooking is...
 

as a country boy I am shocked at your 'city folk' ignorance of the basic cuts of meat.

shocked and horrified !!!

(p.s. a good pun for pig's meal was "so she enjoyed the pork?" or "it was kind of her to eat your pork" or "did you eat the meal after the pork?" innit)

Re: The funny thing about cooking is...
 

On my girlfriend's birthday I usually cook for 20 people or so. I'm like that. ;)

Re: The funny thing about cooking is...
 

Ahhh cooking! Theres nothing better than cooking for a group of friends. I was amazed at university how many people had no culinary skill (or interest) whatsoever!

One of my favourite recipes is Mussels en Croustade with Leeks and White Wine. This is a moderately easy recipe to make, and you get a very delicious and impressive meal, for a very reasonable price (If I remember correctly, I used to pick up a kilo of fresh mussels in Dundee for about 2.50GBP, and the whole meal could be made for under 10GBP for two people, of course, depending on the wine used). Before I found this recipe, I was under the false impression that seafood was difficult and expensive cuisine to make. This recipe helped to lift this particular misconception for me.

The only thing the recipe leaves out is the process for preparing the mussels. Only pictures 1 and 2 are applicable for this recipe.

Anyone else have any favourite recipes to share with the board?

Re: The funny thing about cooking is...
 

I see what you're trying to do ...

mi recipe for mi jerk chicken it be gonna go t' da grave wiff mi!

Re: The funny thing about cooking is...
 

Don't be so bloody minded, what possible use has it there?

(does it include paprika and cayenne?)

Re: The funny thing about cooking is...
 

I consider cooking and recipes to be the lesser cousin of the well planned meal.

My last dinner part was for 13 (i had to sit on a box innit)

the starter was king prawns fried in butter (and olive oil to get the heat) with garlic, on a bed of mango salsa (mango, cucumber, tomatoe and corriander).

I could prepare the salsa in advance then flash fry the prawns. innit.

the main course was my world famous jerk pork (no one but no one is getting my jerk recipe) and rice and peas. you can make a cutney from the marrinade which rocks. serve with lashings of sour cream and salad (if you think salad adds anything) - (another plus is that you can get away with a jamaican accent, which i liked)

good hearty fare. satisfying and everyone is merry by the main course anyway

my pudding was pears in fudge sauce. get ripe pears, quatre and skin. put 1/3 butter, 1/3 brown sugar and 1/3 the fattest cream you can get your hands on (clotted is the best) in a pan. simmer for 2 minutes. pour on pears.

because everyone is drunk by pudding. including you the host so simple puddings ftw!

then get good bread and good cheese because over the remaining several hours people will pick

innit

Re: The funny thing about cooking is...
 

One of my other famous dishes in the household last year was macoronni cheese. Now some may scoff at this saying "oh thats easy" well yes it is an easy dish, but by no means an easy dish to perfect.

Briefly I make a homemade cheese sauce using cheddar and mozzerella, butter and milk. It wasnt a recipe just experimenting around to see what works. Boiled macorroni (with a few pinches of salt and a drizzle of olive oil) I then put the maccoroni and the cheese sauce into a serving dish and put some sliced tomatotes ontop with a heavy sprinkling of cheddar and mozzerella. This then went into the grill for 5 minutes until it was golden brown on top.

Pull it out of the grill and perfect, its not runny, its not dry, its beautiful. Its also always gobbled up with people speaking nothing but highly of it. The extra 5 minutes or so I spend on it makes it perfect.

Re: The funny thing about cooking is...
 

Also yahwe your meal sounds delicious, especially the starter. Im a big fan of king prawns and I like your philosophy on desert, most people are stuffed or pissed come desert so something simple yet tasty is always perfect. Nothing fancy just good.

Re: The funny thing about cooking is...
 

macaroni cheese has been a british dish since before the war of the roses

:):)

people often scoff at british food. but few sane men scoff at bread and butter pudding.

Re: The funny thing about cooking is...
 

the key is to remember that you will also be drunk by pudding.

if you want fancy you have two options: stay sober (which is frankly shit) or prepare it in advance, but few puddings are improved by waiting (except perhaps summer pudding)

talk of recipes can get confused. we cook to create meals after all.

Re: The funny thing about cooking is...
 

mmmmm bread and butter pudding. Haven't had that in a loooooooong time

Re: The funny thing about cooking is...
 

I too am quite fond of a cheesy pasta bake, I'm quite fond of your tomato idea pig, sounds like one to try!

When I make a bake like described above, there's only two things I do different.

- My Portuguese grandmother told me to never, never, NEVER cook pasta with just salted water and oil. She taught me to always experiment with the boiling water. Herbs, stocks, etc... She was always a bit crazy, so I only sometimes follow her advice, but when I do, I cook the pasta in a stock. I also like to lightly butter the pasta, and pepper it after draining.

- When making the topping, I grate the cheese into a bowl. I also experiment with this topping before sprinkling it on. Very often I grate some bread into the mixture, or sometimes crunched crisps (one time, even both!).

Re: The funny thing about cooking is...
 

i'm positively a heathen by comparison because i use spring onions in my macaronni cheese :)

Re: The funny thing about cooking is...
 

I think a dish like macaronni cheese demonstrates that its so simple yet the results are always good and tasty, thats whats cooking about. Making something which so easy but tastes so good. Its what the human race always wants ie something for nothing.

Re: The funny thing about cooking is...
 

I do believe so, it's what the rest of our civilised world call 'bacon'.

Re: The funny thing about cooking is...
 

another city boy ...

:(

Re: The funny thing about cooking is...
 

My Dear Sir! I have not seen the likes of the word gammon since my primary school days, where but it was used in mockery against those telling porky pies.

Re: The funny thing about cooking is...
 

I'm sure you would struggle to find a chef who agreed with you on this one... In any case, lets not derail this wonderful thread Pig has started.

Another firm favourite of mine is Gammon Steak with new potatoes, carrots and white sauce. Very, very simple, you can boil the potatoes and carrots together in salted water (though I would advise a slight delay before introducing the carrots to the pan), the gammon steaks can be fried or grilled in about 10 minutes, all while the white sauce is bubbling away on the hub. Simple, delicious. Theres no need to get fancy with this meal, certainly no listening to crazy elder relatives about flavouring the water.

I used to be an advocate of always frying cuts of bacon, believing it to be tastier, and would regularly hear the same from others. However, as my skill with a grill increased, it became evident that this isn't true. In any case, frying or grilling, and no matter what cut of bacon you are cooking, I'd advise the following:

1) Score the meat - By this I mean draw a sharp knife multiple times across the surface of the meat, at regular (3cm intervals, though no need to get the rulers out for this one). Not so deep as to cut through the meat, and not so shallow as to be invisible to the eye.

2) Snip the fat - If your not one of these health obsessed maniacs who insist on removing the tastiest part of the cut, please do yourself a favour and make a number of snips perpendicular to the length of the meat, from the edge of the fat to the edge of the meat.

The reason I advise the above two measures is to stop curling of the meat. This is especially important if the meat is thinner, or you plan to grill it (where you have less contact with the meat). Curling is the bane of all well cooked bacons, especially under many grills, where the temperature increases a lot as the bacon curls up towards the grill.

Re: The funny thing about cooking is...
 

i also like cooking, although my favourite thing to make at the moment has to be beef stew, although taking 5-6 hours to cook but smelling really nice after a couple of hours can be torture :)

I'm also a big fan of traditional sunday dinners, and my roast potatos with rosemary are ratehr nice even if i do say so myself :)

Re: The funny thing about cooking is...
 

i don't mind cooking... but hate doing it when it's just for me.

Btw Yahwe - I've still got cravings for some of those nibbles you made when me and Jon came round a couple of months ago. They were very nice.

Re: The funny thing about cooking is...
 

I don't like vegetables, as in, I wouldn't eat them on their own, but I've gotten better.

Sunday roast is always great, a nice meat, roast potatoes, gravy, yorkshire puddings, peas, carrots, ketchup. Great. Except my mum cooks it so I only get it during holidays.

Re: The funny thing about cooking is...
 

you have ketchup with a sunday roast?
freak.

(pub sunday lunches to save you going home)

Re: The funny thing about cooking is...
 

Ketchup is food gold :(

Re: The funny thing about cooking is...
 

Not on roast dinners it's not.

Re: The funny thing about cooking is...
 

You've never had homemade yorkshire puddings with a drop or two of ketchup in?

Re: The funny thing about cooking is...
 

whats wrong with you:( you NEED gravy on your roast dinner, ketchup sounds wierd.

Nicely done pig, I enjoy cooking quite a bit, over these holidays ive been preparing tea every night as parents are at work. Its nice to cook, I just dont understand how some people say they can't cook, it is really simple.

Made a very nice lasagna yesterday, went down a treat. Been cooking quite a few indian dishes recently aswell:)

Re: The funny thing about cooking is...
 

I said I had gravy aswell.

Re: The funny thing about cooking is...
 

that sounds worse, gravy and ketchup, hmm:(